Voice in the crowd

Susan G. Komen...

2012-02-01T20:46:00.003-05:00

...Is surely spinning in her grave.

Yesterday, the Susan G. Komen for the Cure foundation announced that it was pulling all of the money it donates to Planned Parenthood for funding Breast Cancer Screenings for impoverished women.

I really don't know where to start.

Seriously. I am almost at a loss for words. Almost.

WHAT can possibly be the rationale for this decision?!

This is a foundation supposedly dedicated to the eradication of breast cancer. And now they want to make that objective harder?!

Planned Parenthood provides countless reproductive and other health services to impoverished people--men AND Women--who would have no place to go otherwise. And yes, they provide counseling about, and in some cases perform, abortions. Abortions are only a tiny fraction of the many services they provide. In addition to providing sex education and advice about contraception, they also provide general health care as well as a friendly ear about sexual identity, and many other services.

The most disgusting thing is that this all came about as a result of intestinal parasite James O'Keefe's continuous assault on progressive organizations using dubious tactics. You may recall I have blogged about this before.

I'm flat broke. I have been for a long time (You don't go into public service to get rich--despite Republican claims to the contrary). But if I had more than 2 nickels to rub together, I would make a donation to P.P., to try to make up for what has been done to them by an organization that has caved to pressure from right-wing organizations that are using scare tactics to desperately prove they still have some relevance.

If anyone out there reads this, please do what I can't. Please give some money to Planned Parenthood. Do the right thing.

Blackout

2012-01-18T00:24:00.002-05:00

As I write this, the English language version of Wikipedia, the worldwide on-line encyclopedia, is unavailable. And it will be for the next 24 hours, give or take a few minutes. Along with several other popular websites. Note: Google, as usual, caved from their promise to join this boycott. What a surprise.

This is in protest to the Congress's so-called Stop On-line Piracy Act, or the Senate version, the Protect IP Act.

Under these new laws, any website that even posts a tiny segment of copyrighted material could be immediately and permanently shut down, with no legal recourse.

That means this blog could disappear. Which would, I know, bring great grief to you, the three people who read it. Because I have probably posted videos here that show clips of copyrighted material. I don't know what precisely, and I'm not going to go back through my last nine years of posts to find and remove them.

But someone could, if either of these bills passes. And I could lose my internet privileges. And go to jail.

We expect this sort of thing to happen in China. Or Iran. Or some other totalitarian regime.

We don't expect it to happen here.

In the meantime, since you can't access Wikipedia on-line, I suggest to you my very few but loyal readers to go to your library and find a book by Sinclair Lewis called It Can't Happen Here.

And be afraid. Be very afraid.

Tebow: Go Blow

2012-01-15T17:14:00.003-05:00

Just in case you missed it, the Denver Broncos got pretty thoroughly crushed last night.

Maybe, just maybe, now the country will stop talking about Tim Tebow. At least for a few minutes.

Tebow may be a great QB in the future. He may become the next reincarnation of Joe Montana, Fran Tarkenton, and Johnny Unitas all rolled into one. Probably not. But in the meantime, right now he is what he is: A stunningly mediocre second-year quarterback who got incredibly lucky in about 5 different games.

Religious leaders pointed to divine intervention in some of his games this year, based on his repeatedly professed strong Christian faith. I tend to see it for what it was: a combination of luck, weak opponents, and some incredibly poor coaching decisions made by those same opponents.

Last night, the Broncos faced one of the best teams in the NFL. With, as much as I hate to say it, one of the League's better QB's. And as much as I hate Tom Brady, he's a QB with 3 Superbowl rings and a better than average chance of adding a 4th to his collection this year. A QB who has passed for nearly 40000 total yards and 300 TD's over the course of his career. And one who was apparently rather miffed at all the attention being paid to this wunderkind from Denver. And demonstrated his anger convincingly.

As for Tebow? Well, he spent more time on his back last night than a $20 hooker at the New York pier during fleet week. He was sacked 5 times, while passing for a mere 136 yards and NO touchdowns.

And yet, still, everyone talked about how "poised" and "professional" Tebow was in the post-game interviews. And about how what an asset he'll be for the team next year.

Memo to the news media: Of the six TD passes in last night's Broncos-Patriots game, not ONE of them came off the hand of Tim Tebow. There were TWO quarterbacks in last night's game. One of them clearly deserved to be there. One of them did not. No matter how much he expounds about how strong his faith in God is.

To paraphrase a line from a favorite movie of mine, El Dorado:

"Faith can move mountains. But it can't beat a better team."

It Happened Ten Years Ago

2012-01-11T11:02:00.001-05:00

Today.

We had all packed for a long car trip. My Aunt (by marriage) Jeanine had just died after a protracted battle with Cancer.

My dad, my mom, and me, were getting ready to get in the car to go to her funeral. My mom was not feeling well, as a result of extensive chemotherapy sessions from her own struggles against her own Cancer. But she wanted to be at the funeral of her sister-in-law to support her family members. It was in her nature.

We got ready to go. My mom felt nauseous. She ran to the bathroom to vomit.

Dad and I knew at that point that we wouldn't make it out of the driveway. My mom was too sick.

We unpacked the car. We got my mom into the house, and tried to make her rest. But she got sicker.

We were forced to take her to the Hospital. She was weak, and could not keep any food down.

Upon our arrival, she was taken immediately to intensive care. As a result of her chemo-weakened immune system, she had developed pneumonia. And, after nearly 20 years she spent fighting a sure losing battle with a particularly insidious form of Cancer, she was unable to recover from it. She died less than 24 hours later.

That was ten years ago today.

It is often said that Cancer patients do not die of Cancer--they die with it. This was what happened. She did not die because she had this horrible disease. She died because all the treatments that she endured over the nearly 2 decades she spent in a relentless battle to defeat a disease that her doctors told her would kill her in 5 years finally did--18 years later.

There is no cure for Cancer. Seriously. Cancer can be treated. Cancer can be destroyed. Cancer can be sent into remission. Cancer can be removed, surgically or otherwise. Cancer cannot be cured. And I'm not entirely sure that some of the available Cancer treatments today don't do more harm than good.

All I know is that this disease took my mother away from me ten years ago today. Along with probably thousands of others. And it will continue to do so, until someone decides that it's more important to find a real cure instead of raising money to find one.

Just Remove the Middle Letter...

2012-01-10T20:25:00.000-05:00

The BCS is over. Alabama wins the BCS National Championship.

Big. Deal.

This was not the story of some Cinderella underdog team coming from behind to claim a victory over a powerhouse team. No. This was the story of a team that had only one loss the entire 2011 College Football season. To the team they just played last night. A loss that resulted from a single missed field goal in overtime.

And I sincerely believe that not one single person outside the state of Alabama really gives a flying f$%&.

The whole BCS system has gotten even more ridiculous than it already was. In the 14 years since the BCS was instituted, by my count it has worked right exactly one time. At the end of the 2002 season, 2 undefeated teams existed in college football: Ohio State and Miami. These two teams met in the Fiesta Bowl, and OSU won in a dramatic Overtime. Everyone, while not exactly happy about the result, was satisfied that a clear champion had been established. And as far as I can tell, not one time since then has that ever happened.

There is so much wrong with the BCS that I hardly know where to begin. Let’s start with the fact that only certain college football conferences are even allowed to compete for spots in the coveted BCS bowls (and the huge payoffs that come with them). There are, of course, the so-called “at large” spots that the less powerful conferences can sometimes claim, but often only by virtue of going undefeated, a difficult task to accomplish in any football season. And don’t even get me started on the so-called “Notre Dame rule”.

Then there’s the whole notion of computers picking who the better teams are based on things like strength of schedule and points scored, to name a few. Not only does this encourage teams to pad their schedules with weak teams in order to boost their records, it also encourages coaches to run up the score of games, instead of giving starting players a break and letting the second and third-stringers get some much needed playing time.

And, of course, the coaches poll. Not only does this tend to be very subjective, it can end up having a profound impact on the final game. A few years ago, after Ohio State had beaten Michigan when both teams were undefeated, Michigan’s chances of getting a rematch in the BCS championship game came down to a vote by the coaches, one of whom was the coach of Florida, the other contender for the game against OSU. Guess which team wound up playing OSU? (OSU’s coach, Jim Tressel, graciously declined to vote).

So usually what happens is that no one is happy, outside of the fan base of the team that is eventually declared “the Champion”. Every year, calls are made for the system to be changed, and every year those calls fall on the deaf ears of the BCS.

Now, I understand, BCS officials are meeting to discuss changing the format. The most likely scenario is that the final pool of teams will go from 2 to 4, with a 2-round playoff. This, while slightly fairer, is not nearly enough.

The fairest solution would be to invite the champions from every FBS conference to compete in the lesser bowls. As each conference was eliminated, the winners would advance to the next bowl, until the top 8 teams could play the 4 major bowl games on New Year’s day, followed by the aforementioned 4 team 2 round playoff, winner take all. Not only would this encourage more interest in the minor bowls (which would equal more money—always a plus to bowl promoters), it would help the less powerful conferences with their recruiting, since every conference would potentially have a chance at producing the national champion. The playing field, while not completely level, would be far less tilted toward the BCS conferences. This would also leave plenty of bowl games available for non-champion teams.

Oh, and screw Notre Dame. Tell them they either join a conference or they don’t get to play in the big dance. They’d change their tune pretty quick, I think.

The Year 2011 in Review

2012-01-03T21:03:00.002-05:00

2011: In Review

I know, I’m a couple days late. I’d offer some excuse, but it would just be complete and total bullshit. So without further ado, let’s get started.

Favorite Sports moment of the year:
Ohio State 31
Arkansas 26

The record books can claim the game never happened if they want. I saw that game with my own eyes. Vacated, my ass!

Runner up:
St. Louis defeats Texas 4 games to 3 in the World Series.

Screw Texas.

Worst Sports moment of the year:
Pretty much the entire 2011 Buckeyes season. They set a lot of records this year that you never want to set.

Runner up:
Michigan 40, OSU34.
I guess it had to happen eventually. They can have their next win 7 years from now.

Favorite Movie of the Year:
Captain America: The First Avenger.
Cap kicks ass! ‘Nuff said.

Runner up:
The Adventures of Tintin.
This late entry beat out a few others, including The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, which I literally saw the day before. I loved the Tintin graphic novels as a boy, and it was a special treat to see them come to life on the big screen. More importantly, it was done well, with Steven Spielberg at the helm.

By the way...
Most disturbing movie of the year:
The aforementioned The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
This movie is not for the faint of heart. I may have a review up in a day or two.

Worst Movie of the Year (that I saw):
The Green Lantern
Three words: Box. Office. Bomb.

Speaking of which...
Movie I’m Glad I never saw:
The Green Hornet
Seth Rogen? Seriously? What, was Jack Black too busy to play the part?!

Movie I most look forward to in 2012:
Tie: The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises.
Both look AWESOME!

Favorite new TV show of the year:
“Person of Interest”
I’ve always thought Jim Caviezel was one of the more underrated actors in Hollywood. They couldn’t have picked a better actor for his role if they’d tried.

Worst new TV show of the year:
“Charlie’s Angels”
This show died a quick and well-deserved death. One of my co-workers said she was sad to see it go because her 8-year old girl loved it. Need I say more?

Favorite political moment of the year:
Occupy Wall Street.

Least favorite political moment of the year:
Debt Ceiling Standoff.

Thing I am least looking forward to in 2012:
Two words: Presidential. Election.
Seriously. This is shaping up to be the worst election cycle ever. And that’s saying something. Note to the Repuglicans: Mitt Romney?! Really? That’s the best you could come up with?

Utterly Ridiculous

2011-12-20T23:19:00.002-05:00

The NCAA has announced its sanctions of Ohio State today. Among others, OSU is prevented from playing a bowl game in 2013, and they lose 3 scholarships per year for the next 3 years.

All because 5 players sold memorabilia that they EARNED to a shady character because it was the only way they could see to make a profit of the INDENTURED SERVITUDE that was forced upon them by the ridiculous NCAA rules they have to abide by--Namely: College athletes receive NO monetary payment of any kind.

Baseball players go into the Major Leagues right out of High school. Basketball players spend only a year in college before being draft eligible. And that's only because CBS wanted to make sure that their ratings for the NCAA tournament broadcast stayed high.

I realize that football is different. It only takes one play for a top college athlete to go from top prospect to undraftable due to injury. And the average career for an NFL player lasts 4 years.

But the NFL enjoys an advantage that no other Pro sport has: The free Minor League system that the NCAA provides. And if the top athletes of the NCAA don't like the teams that draft them, they have almost no way of escaping them.

So when the NCAA punished an entire program for the actions of a few players, they merely reinforced their hypocrisy.

I sincerely hope that whoever was responsible for these sanctions spends an eternity burning in hell. And I hope that the OSU athletic director joins them. Instead of appealing them, he will make the school bend over and take it. And tell them "Thank you Sir, may I have another?!"

Sad. These guys sold memorabilia they had earned. They didn't party with hookers on yacht parties organized by drug dealing boosters, or rape young men in the shower.

My New Favorite Word!

2011-12-14T18:16:00.002-05:00

Today I came across a new word, and it has officially become my new favorite word of all time:

Teahadist

Don't you just love the way that rolls off your tongue?

And while I can't claim credit for inventing the word, I would like to make a stab at giving it an official definition. So, without further ado, here goes:

(Clears throat)

Tee * HAHD * Ist (n.): An uninformed member of the American voting public (usually a Republican, but not always) who believes that the teachings of the secret corporate creators of the American TEA party should be followed 100% without deviation, even when those teachings are designed to harm the very people that follow them. (emphasis added).

How about it? I mean, what is really the difference between a person described above and an actual Islamic Jihadist? Do not both follow the misguided directives of those in power who have taken a mostly benevolent organization and twisted its teachings in order to achieve their own sinister objectives?

The only difference I can see is that the corporate organizers of the TEA party are far more sinister than their Muslim counterparts, for the damage they can achieve can be far greater and far longer lasting (see "George W. Bush, Presidential administration of". See also "2008, Great Recession of", and "Election, 2010 Congressional").

Also, neither the Teahadist nor the Jihadist can be persuaded to change their views via logic, reason, or any other form of intellectual argument. And they believe so strongly in their cause that they are willing to do almost anything to further it.

Teahadist, by the way, replaces my old favorite word:

In * ter * nut (n.) 1. Any person who takes any information they receive via electronic mail or read on the internet as the absolute gospel truth without checking to see if the information is at all factual. 2. Any person who immediately spreads such information to as many others as possible without first checking to see if it has any basis whatsoever in fact.

I claim credit for inventing THAT word, as well as its definitions.

Just When I Think We've Hit Rock Bottom...

2011-12-04T22:55:00.003-05:00

Someone hands us a jackhammer and we start digging deeper.

By now, you've surely heard about what happened with the Coca-Cola company's campaign in support of the Polar Bears. If you haven't, well, if I really have to tell you people again that I ain't your damn search engine, then you really should stop reading this blog!

The gist of it is that when Coke decided to do a limited marketing run in support of the Polar Bears' habitat, one of the things they did was to offer Regular Coke in a white can. For each can purchased, the CC corporation would donate to the World Wildlife Fund's efforts to save the Polar Bears' habitats.

The first problem encountered was when folks bought these drinks thinking that they were Diet Coke. Folks, apparently, can't tell the difference between silver and white. They also can't realize that if the word "Diet" doesn't appear on the can, it's not Diet.

The second problem encountered was when folks apparently decided that the drink tasted differently, despite it being the exact same drink.

So the white cans are DOA. I managed to secure a case of the white cans before they disappeared from the shelves. Maybe they'll be collector's items someday.

By the way, I've tasted the white can Coke. It tastes EXACTLY the same. Strong, bitter, sugary, and able to remove rust from a car bumper.

(OK not really, but that's what has been claimed in the past)

And Coke is back in the red cans. And I continue to weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

It Had to Happen Eventually.

2011-11-27T21:13:00.003-05:00

I suppose it was inevitable. Ohio State lost its head coach to a scandal, the magnitude of which PALES in comparison to the scandals coming from Penn State and Miami.

The potential Senior Quarterback left for the NFL.

The interim head coach looks like Adam Sandler (and coaches like him--in his "Waterboy" persona).

Michigan had a strong offense and defense (it only took them 11 years) and was playing at home.

Michigan was desperate for a win after 7 straight years of losses (and 9 out of the last 10).

So Ohio State lost to Michigan. Big. Deal.

I can't say I didn't expect it. If Michigan didn't win this year, they were never going to. And I can't say I wasn't impressed with OSU's efforts. They showed more offensive prowess in this game than they've showed in just about all their other games this season combined.

Next year, OSU will have a new coach. Probably Urban Meyer (which I REALLY don't think is a good idea.) They will have an experienced sophomore QB with an experienced corps of receivers. They will have an offensive coordinator who knows what he is doing. And they will be playing in Columbus.

In other words, the playing field will be much more level.

But hey, I won $100 in the office squares pool for the game. I won the 3rd AND the 4th quarters. That definitely takes some of the sting out of the loss.

(Don't tell the IRS.) (Oops! Forget I said that!) (Really!)

Perhaps...Cue Cards?

2011-11-25T00:00:00.002-05:00

By now, you may have heard about former "American Idol" contestant Lauren Alaina forgetting a line of the National Anthem before today's annual Detroit Lions pounding.

An aside: It seems to be an annual tradition anymore. On Thanksgiving day, we gather with family, eat turkey, and watch the Lions get drubbed on national television. The Lions haven't won since 2003 (when they beat the Green Bay Packers, ironically enough) and they often lose by big margins.

But I digress, as usual. My point is this: This is the second time in less than a year that a major celebrity singer has blown the singing of the National Anthem in a nationally televised NFL game. Aguilera's flub is probably the more egregious, since hers occurred before the biggest game of the NFL season.

I understand the pressure that can be in this situation. You are singing on national, possibly international, television, in front of an audience of possibly billions. The audience is completely quiet. Every eye in the stadium is on you. And you're singing a song that you don't sing very often, if you sing it at all. And while you may know the song, there's that possibility of that random brain fart occurring at the worst possible time.

So may I make a modest suggestion for the next big televised NFL game with a celebrity anthem singer?

Thank you. It's this: Try. Cue. Cards.

Keep them discreet, of course. Surely you can find a way to hide them from the camera.

Unless, of course, you want this to happen a third time. Or a fourth.

Shame!

2011-11-21T18:23:00.002-05:00

By now, if you haven't seen the viral video of Police in riot gear at UC Davis pepper spraying peaceful protestors, then here it is:

I can only think of six words for this: You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding.

I'm really not sure what the worst part of that is, but I think the top candidate for that award would have to be the casual way in which the cop with the pepper spray casually walked back and forth along the line of protestors, spraying them liberally while showing as much concern for their welfare as he might if he were spraying insecticide on a colony of ants.

I have a few questions for this cop: What, exactly, were you thinking when you did this? What was going through your mind? Were you explicitly ordered to treat your fellow human beings like roaches at the bottom of a trash can? How the hell do you sleep at night?

Also, did you night take into account the fact that EVERYONE has a cell phone with a camera these days? And that your abusive actions would soon make you the most infamous internet celebrity in the country?

Shame!

Suck it, Cornhuskers!

2011-11-19T16:58:00.003-05:00

The University of Nebraska officially joined the Big Ten conference this season. And they joined with the same swagger that Penn State had when they joined it in 1993.

Penn State figured they would immediately dominate the conference. They were, after all, considered one of the strongest independent football teams in the country. The Big Ten had a few strong teams (Ohio State, Michigan) but they were in not in the same league as PSU. Or so they thought.

They learned the hard way that's not how things work in the Big Ten. And while they have managed respectable records, including 3 Big Ten championships, they have been far from the dominant force they were supposed to be. They have had some truly abysmal seasons as well, including a 5 year span from 2000-2004 when their combined record was 26-33 and they attended only one bowl game (which they lost).

Nebraska came in this year with much the same attitude. The swagger was there. Every pre-season sports prognosticator picked them to be this year's Big Ten champions.

However, with today's 45-17 shellacking at the hands of Michigan, of all teams, they won't even be playing in the championship game. They'll be lucky to get a New Year's day bowl game.

So go cry in your corn, Nebraska! Better luck next year. Or not.

Issue 2 Has Been Defeated

2011-11-08T23:08:00.003-05:00

Tonight, in an historic referendum about the rights of workers, we voters of Ohio have soundly rejected State Senate bill 5, which would have stripped all public workers of the right to collectively bargain for any rights other than how much we would be paid (and really, in today's economy, how much do you think that would have been?)

I voted against this bill, as I'm sure did just about every other bargaining unit employee in my office.

It's not surprising. The amount of money poured into trying to pass this bill from business groups and other out-of-state organizations was at a level not seen since business groups tried--and succeeded--to bring Casinos to the state. This time, though, these groups faced a massive effort to defeat them on a REAL grassroots level, not like the astroturf movements that the Cock--er-I mean KOCHE brothers used to create the TEA party. (Yes folks. The media has renamed the Koch brothers--whose name WAS pronounced "Cock"--the "Koch" brothers. That, by the way, is pronounced like the the word "coke". That's about as close as those brothers will ever be to being associated with normal people).

The Pro issue 2 groups outspent the groups against it by more than 2 to 1. But in the end, they could not match the boots on the ground that the anti-issue-2 groups were able to muster. No matter how many TV ads they bought, they could not counter the REAL grass roots effort waged by the anti-2 campaign.

For this I am VERY glad.

Here is the "FOX news" story on this. When even they can't put a positive spin on a defeat like this, you know they are acknowledging a true ass-whuppin'!

Issue 2 Polling

2011-11-07T22:37:00.003-05:00

Issue 2 comes down for a vote tomorrow. This is an issue to vote down a State Senate bill that will severely curtail the rights of me and every one of my fellow public employees.

According to every poll taken since this issue got on the ballot, it will lose by merely a 2 to 1 margin.

My problem is this: Pollsters are simply not doing their job correctly. They are asking questions that are too complicated.

If you want to take an accurate poll, you need to do 2 things:

1) Ask the respondent if they know what issue 2 is.
2) Ask the respondent if they will be voting yes or no.

If you don't know what a push poll is, then take the time to look it up.

If you really want an accurate poll, keep your questions simple.

No E-Readers Please!

2011-11-06T21:38:00.002-05:00

I won't use a Kindle. Or a Nook. Or any other E-Reader on the market.

First of all there is the obvious reason: I accidentally drop a book on the floor, I reach down and pick it up. I drop an E-reader on the floor, I look down and see how many pieces it is in, then think about how expensive it will be to replace.

Second: I stop reading a book, I place the nearest convenient scrap of paper where I left off. Or I set it face open upside down on the nearest flat surface. Then, later, I pick it up and resume reading. I stop reading my e-reader, I power it on again, and hope I can somehow navigate to the last place I was reading before my 15 minute break is up.

Lastly this: I rarely buy any book if it's not a paperback. Most books I read once. This is not because I hold a dislike for any particular book--it's just that once I've read one, I have little desire to read it again, particularly if the book is fiction.

We as a people have to get away from converting all of our written history to digital information. Digital storage assumes that we will always have a way to access it. I have yet to meet anyone who can tell me that will always be the case.

Congrats, You Cardinals!

2011-10-29T00:02:00.004-04:00

The St. Louis Cardinals are the World Series Champions

The Texas Rangers are denied for a 2nd year in a row.

An aside: I couldn't be happier about that. I hate Texas and everything and everyone in it. Texas produced both Presidents named Bush. Both of whom did everything they could to make sure the 1 % got richer and the 99 % got poorer. But I digress

I live in a city with a professional sports team that has earned a recent championship. In 2005 and 2006, our own Toledo Mud Hens claimed the Governor's cup, the title of the International League, which contains the triple A farm teams for 14 of the current Major League teams. What that means is that players who play for the Hens are only one step away from playing in the big leagues.

This can have both advantages and disadvantages. The biggest advantage is, of course, that these players are often Major League quality players, who are one step away from "The Show". Of course, this is also the biggest disadvantage, since Triple A managers can never be sure which players will be available to them on any given day. A Triple A manager can suddenly find himself faced with the loss of one or more key players at the worst possible time. I've seen this happen firsthand.

Fans, however, don't care. Ten years ago, the city, along with the team owners, spent considerable money, time, and resources to build a new stadium in downtown Toledo. And for nearly every game, despite the team's current record, the stadium is sold out. It has brought in tremendous revenue for the team and the city, and all loans involved in its construction are expected to be paid off early. Basically, the better the Hens do, the better for my city.

Which brings me, in my usual roundabout way, to my point: It is FUN to watch your home team win a championship in its own ballpark. I was there when the Hens won it in 2006. I screamed myself hoarse. I hugged and high-fived total strangers. I whooped and hollered right along with those same strangers as we walked back to our cars to go home.

Our celebrations were mild compared to what I'm sure is happening in St. Louis tonight. But I don't begrudge them that by any stretch of the imagination. What the Cardinals did in this World Series was extraordinary, and is sure to go down in history as a classic. And it deserves to.

Good job, Cardinals!

Just Doing My Job

2011-10-25T17:29:00.005-04:00

Hi. Let me introduce myself. I'm a greedy public servant, one that's sucking the lifeblood out of Ohio's economy. One whose rights as a worker will be severely curtailed if Ohio State Issue 2 passes.

This issue, by the way, is interesting. As he is required to do by law, Ohio's Secretary of State posted the full text of all 3 statewide issues in each of the major Ohio Newspapers, along with professionally (read: outside interests) prepared arguments for and against each. Issue one, which would allow older judges to stay in office, took up half a newspaper page. Issue 3, which calls for allowing Ohio to opt out of Obamacare, took 1 page.

Issue 2 took almost 58 full-sized newspaper pages. Four columns per page.

I'll say that again. Fifty. Eight. Pages. Of. Newsprint.

That, in itself, should give anyone pause. And based on the latest poll, it has. Opposition to Issue 2 is currently running 57-38 (with 19 percent undecided apparently). So barring massive fraud (not beyond the realm of possibility), this issue will fail.

So I will probably keep my job. And it's a job I'm proud to keep. Today I helped a county employee get some important paperwork where it needed to go. And when he reacted with surprise at how quickly I was able to do it, I simply told him, "It's what we do."

In other words, I was just doing my job.

I see it as my job to make sure I do whatever I can within my limited area of responsibility to help make peoples' lives easier.

I once read a book where a character talked about how there were two kinds of paymasters: ones who showed you where the book says you aren't going to get what you are entitled to, and ones who go out of their way to make sure you get what you need even if the book says you can't have it. I try to be that second type. I don't always succeed. But when I do, it feels good.

Sad, Really

2011-10-20T19:48:00.004-04:00

So. Earlier today, a couple of my co-workers were discussing the death of Qaddafi (Khadaffi? Kadaffy? Daffy Duck? Meh. Whatever)

At any rate, at this point, one of my co-workers piped up with the question (paraphrasing): "Who's Gadaffi?"

Holy. Hell.

This, by the way, is a woman who can recite the names of every member of the Kardashian family, and holds parties for every season premiere of "Jersey Shore". Which, actually, explains a lot.

I suppose I shouldn't be all that surprised. This is an office where people are more interested in who gets voted off American Idol that who gets voted onto city council or the legislature. and this is the office where, a few years ago, someone asked me what a mushroom cloud was.

I wouldn't normally have a problem with that except for the fact that I work in a political office. I expect the people I work with to take an interest in things that are slightly more important than the latest loser on some "reality" show.

But maybe I'm expecting too much. After all, my previous post just lamented on how focused even the news media is on things that don't really matter. If they don't care, why should anyone else?

I weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

And I Should Care Because...?

2011-10-05T21:30:00.003-04:00

So. Amanda Knox's appeal was successful. She is free from her Italian jail cell and safely home in the arms of her loving parents.

I gotta tell you--it's a load off my mind. I'm sleeping easier these days after knowing that justice has been served.

By the way, in case you missed it, I'm being VERY sarcastic.

I really don't give a flying fuck about this girl. Fact is, she probably did it, and will go to bed every night from now on giggling about how she got away with it. And she will probably parlay her case into a seven figure book and movie deal.

What really bothers me is that with all the other events going on in the world, the international news media focuses all its attention on this one vapid white girl from Seattle.

Libya remains embroiled in a civil war. When's the last time you saw a story about that?

The Syrian government is executing its citizens in the streets. Seen anything about that lately?

Somalia remains a lawless, leaderless wasteland whose main export is international piracy.

American troops are still dying on an almost daily basis in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But none of that matters! We have an American girl facing the injustice of a foreign legal system! We must focus all of our attention on her.

I weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

The Last Few Minutes With Andy Rooney

2011-10-03T21:44:00.002-04:00

Last night, I was one of the people who was privileged enough to watch the last commentary by Andy Rooney. Rooney, at the age of 92, finally decided to call it quits.

And who, really, can blame him?

To say Rooney has begun to show his age is to say that the surface of the sun tends to be a little bit on the warm side. And while he still possesses his distinctive voice, it's hard not to notice the fact that he can only get out a few words at a time before having to draw a labored breath.

But while his body may have been weakened by age, his mind has obviously never been sharper. If you doubt this, just listen to his final interview and commentary. (If, at this point, I have to tell you people to look it up--I ain't your damn search engine--then you really haven't been reading this blog enough!)

It's hard to explain what keeps the mind of a 92 year old man, whose body may be failing him in every other way, as sharp as a tack. But perhaps it's due to the fact that for more than 60 years, this man NEVER stopped using that mind. He wrote. Constantly. And it's something he enjoyed doing more than anything else.

The best job you can have is one that pays you to do something you love. And for most of his adult working life, Andy Rooney did just that.

More importantly, he was able to do it as long as he wanted to. And when he decided he didn't want to do it any more, he was able to leave on his own terms.

Andy, you have my never-ending respect. You got paid almost all of your life to do what you loved to do. And, in the extremely unlikely event that I ever meet you, I will simply shake your hand, say "Good job", and go on my way. Just like you asked.

My Hometown

2011-09-16T23:16:00.005-04:00

During a recent conversation with my dad, the subject of hometowns came up.

My dad was born in Virginia, Minnesota, a small town in Northern MN. He spent his childhood there, and graduated from high school there. And while the average winter temperature there might be -20 degrees, he still considers it his hometown, and he probably always will. With reason.

I do not feel the same way about where I was born. I was born in Decatur, Illinois, a medium-sized city in Central IL. I do not, however, consider it my home town.

We left that city a day after my first birthday. I have literally zero memory of the place. And on a recent trip back there, I was just as lost as I would have been if I'd been plunked down in the middle of Prague.

We lived in three other places before settling here in the Toledo area. And since moving here, I've put down roots and will probably end up spending the rest of my life here.

I have lived either in the Toledo area or in the city itself for more than 3 times longer than all the other places I have lived in combined. Most of my friends and acquaintances live around here. The members of my immediate family either live here or are within less than 2 hours drive from here. I got most of my primary education here, and finished my college education at a local university.

Toledo IS my home town. It may not be where I was born, but it will most likely be where I die someday.

In my opinion, a person's home town does not automatically have to be where they were born. A person's home town is where they feel most at, well, home.

I feel at home here in Toledo. I'm proud to live and work here. That, more than anything else, makes it my home town.

John and Joe

2011-09-10T20:52:00.004-04:00

For those of you who are unaware, Storycorps is an independent, non-profit organization dedicated to collecting spoken interviews with ordinary Americans. These interviews are collected and archived in the Library of Congress. They are also broadcast weekly on the NPR program Morning Edition.

These interviews are usually quite touching and can also be very heart-wrenching. And one of their biggest projects is to obtain at least one interview with someone whose life was directly affected by the death of one (or more) of the victims of the September 11th attacks.

The most recent interview broadcast on NPR was the interview with John Vigliano, Sr. His two sons, John and Joe, a firefighter and a police detective. Both were killed responding to the 9/11 attacks.

Since John Sr. Said it far better than I ever could, here now is his story in his own words:
(Note: Don't let the cartoon fool you. Watch, listen, and cry.)

If his story doesn't move you to tears, then once again I say you need to turn in your credentials as a human being and go back to whatever planet you came from.

Also, this is Storycorps's website. Feel free to listen to more of the 9/11 stories. Just make sure you have a good stock of tissues handy. You will need them.

Why? WHYYYY?!

2011-09-01T21:52:00.004-04:00

Recently, footage has supposedly been leaked from the new Blu-Ray release of The original Star Wars trilogy.

Apparently, in the re-re-re-release of Return of the Jedi, During one of the final climactic scenes, as Darth Vader watches his son being tortured to death by the Evil Emperor, dramatically utters a silent "No!", and then a more prolonged "NOOOO!"--much as the character did in Revenge of the Sith--before grabbing the Emperor and tossing him over the edge into the reactor core.

See it here:

George Lucas, apparently, doesn't seem to have any problem with taking a dump all over his original creations. After all, he already made the most controversial change of all, having Greedo shoot at Han Solo first.

I remember that scene well. I was amazed. This was one of the first times I had seen a supposed good guy play dirty. After all, shooting someone under the table is one of the dirtiest tricks in the book. But later, as I thought about it, I realized that it is just the sort of thing a criminal would do. He wouldn't stay alive long if he couldn't do that.

But Lucas, never one to let a good thing stand, has once again incurred the wrath of his rapidly dwindling fan base.

Including this fan.

George, if you were counting on me to invest in your new Blu-Ray release, stop counting.

And if this is one of your tricks, like the whole "Revenge of the Jedi" prank, well, then, let me just say that it didn't work the way you may have intended it to. Proof of that will come from your depressed Blu-Ray sales.

Expanding on a Theme

2011-08-26T23:53:00.003-04:00

I continue to watch in stunned disbelief as (p)Rick Perry's poll numbers continue to climb, and as the media continues to annoint him as the Repuglican front-runner. I also watch with disbelief as Michelle Bachman's numbers continue to climb almost as high.

This is a man who, based on everything I have seen, heard, and read, is only marginally more qualified to be President of These United States than George W. Bush was. And that's not saying very much. I am more qualified to be the President.

And this is a woman whose sole qualification for office is her ability to appeal to the most extreme right element of the Repuglican party.

But maybe that's the point.

I've pointed out before how stupid we are becoming as a people. And if we, as a nation, are collectively stupid enough to elect another dumb-ass governor from Texas, or a crazy Congresswoman from Minnesota, as POTUS, then I swear that this country does not deserve to exist.

Poeple in this country seem to enjoy feeling like they are smarter that the POTUS. George W. Bush was elected twice for that exact reason.

But there is a problem with that idea: No matter how unswervingly stupid the President may be, and no matter how superior Americans may feel to the man (or woman) they elect as President, there is one crucial difference between the President and everyone else in the country:

The President can launch our nuclear weapons.

Food for thought.

And This Man...

2011-08-23T23:24:00.003-04:00

...Wants to be the President of these United States...

This is the Repuglicans best prospect lately?! Seriously?

Disturbing. VERY Disturbing

2011-08-22T23:46:00.003-04:00

Another Movie Review (sort of).

I have recently watched the "Mockumentary" movie: C.S.A.: Confederate States of America.

This is a movie, made about 7 years ago, that describes what would have happened if the South had won the Civil War.

The victory would have come about as a result of the South getting the English and French to be their allies in the war. The Battle of Gettysburg ended in a decisive victory for the South, thanks to the intervention of those two countries. The Confederacy captured Washington. Lincoln fled the Capitol with the assistance of Harriet Tubman. They were both captured in their attempt to flee to Canada. Tubman was executed. Lincoln, after his capture, was pardoned, and exiled to Canada, much in the way Jefferson Davis was. He is depicted as having died a lonely and bitter death in exile.

Blacks are still slaves. Women cannot vote.

The CSA goes on to conquer Central and South America, at an extreme cost, as part of its expansionist mindset.

During WW2, the CSA agrees to remain neutral in the war in Europe. However, due to its fear of Japanese expansionist ideals, the CSA attacks Japan on December 7th 1941.
Although it suffers heavy losses, it wins due to the atom bomb.

President John Kennedy, a Republican (!), campaigns on the idea of ending slavery. After his assassination, this idea is abandoned.

The CSA suffers from isolationalist trade policies, constant terror attacks from "abolitionists" in Canada, and a general malaise of its citizens.

But it continues to survive in the modern world. The long-running FOX reality show "COPS" is re-imagined as a regular TV show called "Runaways" (containing videos of the "CBI" (what the FBI is called) capturing runaway slaves. Commercials featuring racist themes and depicting slavery as a normal way of life air as regularly as normal commercials do today.

This movie was made with a very limited budget and no popular actors.

It had a very limited release.

It made very little money.

I classify this movie with Idiocracy as one of the most important movies of my generation.

If you, the 3 readers of this blog, wonder why I tell you this, then rent it from Netflix or Redbox and watch it.

Then ask me that question again.

One out of Seven

2011-08-20T23:54:00.002-04:00

(p)Rick Perry, Repuglican candidate for President, has proposed seven changes to the U.S. constitution.

The first one I happen to agree with. I've seen the damage that can be done by Federal Judges who have lifetime tenure. One need only look to the recent Supreme Court decision that overturned the McCain-Feingold Campaign finance law to see how poor an idea it is to allow Judges to serve as long as they want.

Our current Supreme Court currently contains three completely unqualified members. All three were appointed by Presidents with the last name of Bush:

1) Clarence Thomas, who reportedly has NEVER asked a single question during any oral argument before the court. I'm not sure if this is because he's already made up his mind before he hears any case, or if it's because he is fantasizing about what every female in the chamber looks like naked.

2) John Roberts, who is apparently so stupid that he can't remember the Presidential Oath of Office, 35 words that EVERY Federal judge should be able to recite in his or her sleep, since he or she can never know when they may be called upon to administer it.

3) Samuel Alito, who may as well be sitting on Scalia's knee with Scalia's hand up his back, dictating what Alito will say.

These 3 Justices are the best arguments I can think of for Federal judicial term limits.

I understand why they exist. Initially it was so that Judges would not answer to anyone once they were appointed. And when it was initiated, living past 50 was the exception, not the rule.

But that's not the case today. A federal judge appointed today can expect to hold his or her post for 50 years or more if they want to.

By the way, this isn't the first time I've expressed this opinion. See this.

However, just because I happen to agree with (p)Rick Perry on this one point does not mean he will ever get my vote.

Why? Because every other idea of his that is detailed in that article is so preposterous that anyone even thinking about voting for this man needs to have their head examined.

One out of seven = 14.29%. That's a failing grade in anyone's book.

Why do I do What I do?

2011-08-17T23:21:00.002-04:00

I am a public servant.

I've been in this job for more than 15 years. More than half of my adult working life. More years than I spent in all of my other jobs put together.

I never intended to stay here so long. When I first took this job, it was because I was out of work, and I needed employment. A friend of my father knew that I was looking for work, and he recommended me for employment.

An aside: This is not at all unusual. Few people who work in my office did not obtain their jobs without help from someone.

This job was, at first, simply a stopgap until I could find something better.

But I came to like it.

My mother spent most of her working life as a public schoolteacher. In case you are unaware, that is NOT a career you enter if you want to become rich. The only reason anyone takes that career path is to educate children.

I would've loved to follow in her footsteps. But, sadly, I fear I would never have had the patience or tolerance to do so.

But when I came into my current job, I found a niche. I am able to do a job that helps me contribute to the well-being of other people.

I'm never going to grow rich in this job. And I'm certainly never going to be famous.

But I can help make people's lives easier. Try to find something that feels better than that.

Best. Pictures. Ever.

2011-08-16T20:49:00.004-04:00

Taking a...um...bite...out of the Republican party?

How ironic is it that they're advertising "Footlongs" behind her?

(By the way, is that John Boehner behind her?)

Memo to Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry: Whoever it was told you it was a good idea to be photographed eating a 12-inch corn dog, you should probably fire that person.

No, on second thought, keep them on. And please listen to them and do whatever they say!

A New Feature

2011-08-09T18:17:00.005-04:00

I’m going to start something today that I hope to make into an occasional regular feature. And while I know this feature may give you, the 3 readers of this blog, more fear than you would have if Edward Cullen showed up on your doorstep on a sunny day and asked you if you wanted to hang out, here it goes: I’m going to start reviewing movies. I realize I’m no professional movie critic. However, since most movie critics nowadays are simply paid hacks studios throw tons of money at in order to generate glowing review quotes for the crapfests they turn out, I don’t see how I can do any worse than they do. And since I would never sell myself out like that (unless they offered me a LOT of money), you can count on my honest opinion.

Do not fear, gentle readers. It won’t happen very often, if for no other reason than I don’t go to see movies very often in theaters. After all, there are very few movies coming out of Hollyweird today that are worth paying ten bucks and sitting for 2 and a half hours to see them. And I don’t see that trend ending any time soon.

But enough stalling. On to the review.

Today’s movie: Captain America: The First Avenger
Rating: 3 stars (out of 5)
Starring:
Chris Evans: Steve Rogers/Captain America
Tommy Lee Jones: Colonel Tommy Lee Jones
Haylee Atwell: The Hot Chick
Directed by Joe Johnston

Ah, The Comic Book Movie. Fast becoming all Hollyweird seems able to come up with these days. Why, just this summer alone we’ve already been treated to Thor (mediocre) and X-Men: First Class (good) from Marvel comics, and The Green Lantern (ridiculous) from DC. And now we have this latest entry from Marvel, which takes a look at the origins and adventures of America’s first real superhero.

An aside: I suppose the latest Transformers movie could also be called a comic book movie, since that’s where the series originated in the first place. But I digress.

I suppose it was fairly predictable that the comics would be fodder for Hollyweird. After all, most comic series have fanatical fan followings whose members spend millions of the dollars they save not paying rent by living in their parents’ basements on issue after issue of any given series.

This, unfortunately, is where the problems usually start. Y’see, these fans can be...let’s just say, a bit...um...fickle. And, thanks to the internet, Facebook, Twitter, and other networking sites, they aren’t shy about sharing their opinions. With EVERYBODY. And those opinions can have sharp knives. And those knives can tear into any tiny flaw in any comic book movie adaptation and turn that flaw into an enormous sucking wound that can kill a movie quicker than a movie producer telling a studio head he’s gone over budget. Twice.

Fortunately, as far as I can tell, this movie stays faithful to the C.A. storyline. For the first one-third of the movie, Chris Evans’s head, carried by a much smaller body, spends his days getting rejected at the Army recruiting centers, getting beaten up in back alleys, and striking out with women. Then, after his fifth attempt to enlist is noticed by a German-American scientist, who is apparently impressed either with his determination or his stupidity, or possibly both, the scientist (Stanley Tucci) allows him to join a special unit of the army.

This unit, led by Tommy Lee Jones playing his trademark gruff, no-nonsense character, also features a hot chick who is also, of course, as tough as nails herself, but with a tender side (naturally). The goal of this special Army unit is to provide the U.S. Army with a regiment of super-soldiers who will, in the words of Jones, “Escort Adolf Hitler straight to the gates of Hell.”

Naturally, Evans’s head is chosen to be the first subject of the super-soldier experiment. He undergoes a Mad-scientist style lab procedure in which, apparently, they remove Evans’s head from the much smaller body and put it back on Evans’s real body, which is much taller, stronger, and about 10 times more buffed. This is done by injecting the smaller body with an experimental serum and then bombarding it with “Vita-Rays” (whuh?) until the smaller body agrees to give up the stolen head and give it back to Evans.

OK not really, but that’s what a comic-book movie novice might think.

At any rate, the experiment works. Rogers/Cap A. is now 5 times stronger, faster, and more agile than any normal human. His body does not age and constantly regenerates itself, allowing him to heal damage quickly and completely. The only downside is that he can no longer get drunk, which would make me wonder if it was worth it.

All well and good, until a nefarious Nazi nogoodnik (whee!) destroys the lab, steals the only remaining sample of the supersoldier formula, and kills the German scientist. Rogers then chases the agent (barefoot!) along the streets of Brooklyn, finally catching him just as he is about to escape. Unfortnately, the stolen serum is destroyed, and the spy kills himself, but not before bragging about the extensive reach of HYDRA, the Nazi division he works for.

It seems that Hitler is the least of the Allies' worries. HYDRA, apparently, is a secret Nazi research division, led by Johann Schmidt/Red Skull (played by Hugo Weaving, who is very good at being a very bad man), that is determined to win the war by harnessing the powers of the Norse Gods (I'm NOT kidding). Red Skull has already taken a dose of the supersoldier serum and it has made him just as strong and powerful as Rogers. Unfortunately, it also left him severely disfigured, and, apparently, an insane megalomaniac. Seriously. This guy makes Hitler look like Winnie the Pooh in comparison. And that’s saying something.

At any rate, the U.S. Government, now worried that they have lost the secret of the serum for good, wants to keep Rogers in a lab and experiment on him to re-discover the formula. Some other government types, however, have a different idea, and decide to put him on display in a series of War Bond tours as “Captain America”. This, by the way, is one of the best parts of the movie: It shows just how ridiculous the war bond tours were during WW2, and at the same time how effective they were (my dad, who was in the audience with me, remarked about how authentic the tours looked. And he would know.)

And this is fine with Captain America, until he travels overseas to entertain the troops and sees just how different the real war is from the sugarcoated version being fed to the folks on the home front. This is one of the most poignant moments of the movie, as Rogers realizes how little he is actually contributing to the military side of the war effort.

Then, after learning the unit containing his best friend has been captured, he decides to infiltrate the HYDRA base they are being held in. There, he liberates the prisoners while simultaneously learning the extent of the danger HYDRA really poses, and how dangerous Schmidt really is. So Rogers and his unit set out to destroy HYDRA. Naturally, this is where the movie devolves into the usual cliché-ridden action fest that is typical of a summer movie.

I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad thing. You don’t go to your average summer blockbuster to see Shakespeare. You go to be entertained.

And it is entertaining. At my first viewing, I was transfixed. I sat for two hours enjoying nearly every minute. It was only after I went back to see it again with my dad that I viewed it with a much more critical eye. And began to spot the obvious flaws. For example, how did HYDRA obtain such vast resources and so many able-bodied men in war-torn Germany? Surely someone was keeping track of such things.

Of course, the largest flaw is the lack of credibility. I realize that watching a comic book movie requires a certain suspension of disbelief. But in this case, you have to blindfold your disbelief, tie its hands, put a noose around its neck, and hang it until it’s dead. Then you have to toss it off a cliff. I know that, by most accounts, the Nazis were probably 10 years ahead of the Allies technologically, but come on! They used devices in this movie we don’t even have today, more than 70 years later.

Obviously there won’t be any best acting Oscars for this movie. The dialogue, while cliché-ridden, does has some very funny moments. And the special effects compliment the movie rather than overwhelming it, as they do in some movies (Green Lantern, I’m looking in your direction).

All in all, however, I found the movie to be very enjoyable, and I look forward to the Avengers movie that is coming next year, which will unite the Marvel characters introduced in Marvel films that have come in previous years.

A Disturbing Comment

2011-08-07T21:34:00.005-04:00

I have a regular barber. I've been going to this guy for over 10 years because he knows how I like to have what little remains of my hair cut: Short, simple, and hassle-free.

He also charges a reasonable price.

However, at my last haircut a couple days ago, our attention was drawn to a national news program, which was discussing--big surprise--the downgrading of the credit rating of the United States.

An aside: The fact that these banks, most of whom received billions of dollars in U.S. taxpayer money to bail them out during the last financial crisis, had the gall to downgrade the U.S. credit rating, really grinds my gears. But that's another story for another time.

At any rate, my barber, watching how screwed up our political system is, remarked that he wished there was simply one person who controlled the government and made the decisions for everybody.

The fact that this man, who is old enough to know better, would make a comment like that, disturbs me.

I immediately reminded him about what happened in Germany in the 1930's. He seemed to remember this, and reconsider his opinion.

I was reminded of the quote by Winston Churchill: "The best argument against Democracy is a 5 minute conversation with the average voter."

Case in point.

Of course, Churchill also said: "Democracy is the worst form of government--except for all the others that have been tried."

We're stuck with what we've got. It isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but until and unless someone comes up with something better--and many have tried and failed--we're going to have to stick with it.

Humbled

2011-08-05T21:26:00.003-04:00

Today, I stand before you, the three readers of this blog, completely humbled.

Contrite. Chastened. Overshadowed. Awed. Stunned.

Yesterday, if you look at the post, I lamented the fact that the progressive generations of humanity were growing dumber.

I was not, apparently, the first one to recognize this trend.

Not by a long shot.

The brilliant TV and film producer Mike Judge, recognized this trend more than 6 years ago.

It was then that he produced the brilliant film called Idiocracy.

This film, which Judge conceived and brought forth while apparently also producing the series King of the Hill for Fox, depicts a world 500 years from now as being so ridiculously stupid that a man with a completely average IQ (of 100) is considered to be the smartest person in the world. And his ideas, which reflect the most basic tenets of common sense, are ridiculed by the general population.

This hypothetical future world of the massively stupid comes into being for one simple reason: The stupid reproduce at an astonishingly higher rate than do the smart.

If you doubt this premise, then I invite you to take a trip to the Creation Museum that I talked about yesterday.

Needless to say, this movie by Judge, which I enjoyed immensely, enjoyed only limited release by its parent corporation Fox, which is a corporation dedicated to promoting maximum degrees of dumbassness (yes, I often make up words) on all levels, as far as I can tell. Lately, anyway. It didn't do well.

I'm not surprised. Dumb people rarely enjoy having a mirror held up that reflects their stupidity.

The Discussion in the Lunchroom

2011-08-04T23:55:00.005-04:00

I work in an office with a large number of people. Several of those people often take their daily lunch break in our common lunch room.

Most times, I ignore the usual lunchroom chats like the plague. To me, my lunch hour is a sacred thing. It's the one hour a day I have during the work week when I can totally unplug my brain from my work environment. For our lunch period, we are completely free from the constrictions of work.

So my usual routine, once I have consumed my lunch (which usually takes less than 20 minutes), is to find a comfortable chair in the corner of the lunch room, plug in my headphones, find a good classical music channel, and bury my nose in a book. And when I say bury myself, I mean it. The entire building could fall down around me when I read and I doubt I would notice.

Occasionally, however--usually if I'm reading a boring book, or at least a boring section of a book--I take notice of the conversation around me. And I sometimes listen in, and contribute the occasional nugget of wisdom. I don't participate very often, since in order to dumb myself down to the usual level of discussion therein I'd have to hit myself on the head with a hammer 10-15 times.

(If at this point you haven't yet figured out that I'm a conceited SOB, you haven't read enough of this blog.)

This brings me, in my usual roundabout way, to my point: The discussion on the day in question veered into the topic of the Creation Museum.

This museum--which is located only a few hours drive from me, by the way--is dedicated to proving to all visitors the truth of the Creation story, as provided in the book of Genesis. This, despite reams upon reams upon reams of scientific data that has been collected to contradict it.

The fact that this museum exists, only a few hours' drive from my house, is not the scary part. No, the scary part is this: This museum has hosted over 1 million visitors since it opened. And this flow of visitors shows no signs of slowing.

This leads me to one inescapable conclusion:

We are getting dumber.

Over the course of history, each subsequent generation of humans has surpassed its predecessors in terms of intelligence. Until a few years ago. That's when this trend reversed itself.

I think it started when George W. Bush was elected President. This man was the poster child for how an unqualified underachiever could achieve position far beyond what he was qualified for. And it inspired everyone else in the country to believe that they could do the same.

I'm not saying this has never happened before. History is filled with examples of people achieving postitions they weren't possibly qualified to hold. The difference between then and now was that most of the time those people went no farther. They were shamed out of their positions.

This doesn't happen today. Today, people who are underqualified for the positions they hold are propped up by various means until they believe they ARE qualified. This happens in all walks of life, from celebrities, to politicians, to corporate executives, to religious leaders.

If you have any doubts about the dumbing down of humanity, I invite you to watch an Episode of Jersey Shore.

And watch how its audience continues to grow from year to year.

We used to publicly ridicule people who regularly demonstrated how stupid they were. Nowadays, they get their own TV reality shows.

Progress? I have serious doubts.

Spider-Man Reboot

2011-07-22T22:41:00.002-04:00

As you the 3 readers of this blog may or may not be aware, thehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif trailer for the new Spiderman movie is out.

From what I can tell, this movie is a complete reboot of the Spiderman movie franchise.

But why?

I watched and enjoyed all three of the Sam Raimi-directed Spiderman movies. They were quite enjoyable, and I loved watching the character portrayed by Tobey Maquire mature from irresponsible teenager to responsible adult, who learned important life lessons along the way.

I was disappointed when it was announced that Raimi would no longer be directing the SM movies.

But I was even further disappointed upon seeing this apparent reboot of the entire franchise.

Movie franchises have been rebooted before. Sometimes, as in the case of the Batman movies, it was successful. And necessary. Seriously. If you can find anyone who thinks that Batman and Robin wasn't the cinematic equivalent of used Porta-John, please let me know.

It was for this reason that Batman Begins and The Dark Knight exist. That second movie became one of the highest grossing films in history.

There have, of course, been other series reboots that failed miserably. Superman Returns comes to mind.

But the last Spiderman film was not a failure, as far as I'm concerned. So why the reboot?

The only reason I can think of is that Hollyweird has come to view the attention span of the average person as negligible. How else can you explain the vast acceptance of movie audiences who watched skyscrapers toppled in the latest Transformers movie with little discomfort, less than ten years after September 11th?

Food for thought.

If I Could Have Said It Any Better...

2011-07-19T23:57:00.004-04:00

I wouldn't have, because I don't think that's possible.

I have no way of knowing if this man's statement is authentic, but based on my visual analysis of the picture he seems to be the right age.

Please note that I am willing to provide disclaimers. Something that cannot be said of the right wing keyboard brigade.

The National Pastime

2011-07-17T17:22:00.006-04:00

I recently overheard a conversation between two of my co-workers. They were lamenting about the lack of on-field fireworks that occurred during last week's Baseball All-Star Game.

They believed that baseball was doomed in this country.

They couldn't possibly be more wrong.

Baseball is unique among all other sports. It is the one sport where every single statistic is computed to the third decimal. It is the one sport where hitting only 3 out of every ten balls thrown at you in the right place makes you an All-Star. It is the one sport where players willingly stand with a piece of wood in their hands and face hard objects hurled at them at speeds often greater than 90 miles per hour.

And it is the one sport where it is easy to realize very early in life that you have absolutely no talent for. This realization came to yours truly about the tender age of 8 or 9. It was when I realized that I had absolutely no ability to hit a thrown baseball. Or catch one. Or throw one with any degree of accuracy.

The only skill I was able to contribute to my little league team was my ability to get on base. Y'see, I was (and still am) short, so my strike zone was so tiny that few pitchers in my league could find it. So, most of the time, I would simply stand at the plate, take four pitches as balls, and be on first. I would then immediately steal second, then third, in short order (I was small, but I could run like hell. It helped me escape bullies.) I would be in scoring position in the space of two pitches. The only times I ever struck out was when I actually swung at a pitch.

It takes a special kind of talent to hit a baseball. You have to be able to see a mud-covered (look it up) baseball traveling at you at 90+ miles per hour, from a height of about 2 feet above you. You have less than half a second to determine if said baseball is going to be in an area where you have a reasonably good chance of making contact if you swing at it.

I don't have that talent. I never did, despite the efforts of my little league coaches. The sort of talent required to do that on a regular basis does not exist in 99,999 out of 100,000 people. Maybe more. It's something you are blessed with from birth. Practice helps, but it can only hone what talent already exists. The minor leagues of baseball are filled with people who are almost talented enough to accomplish this feat. I see many of them every time I attend a Mud Hens game.

Which brings me, in my usual extreme roundabout way, to my point: The aforementioned co-workers were lamenting that being a great baseball player is something kids in this country don't look forward to any more.

The refutation of that thought can be found in the tiny town of Blissfield, Michigan, and the surrounding areas.

Blissfield is a tiny town. So is just about every single town around it. And yet, the Blissfield Royals high school baseball team wins. A lot.

Baseball is cyclical. It always goes through periods of pitching dominating hitting, and vice versa. This past Friday I witnessed a Mud Hens game that was an extreme pitching duel, until one swing of a bat (a grand slam home run) changed the entire game (Unfortunately, the wrong team got the winning hit. But that's another story.)

Baseball has earned its appellation as the National Pastime. It has weathered scandal after scandal. It has had its highs and lows. People scorn players accused of doping. Yet they worship players like Babe Ruth. By all accounts, Ruth was a drunk and a boor. And yet he is held up as the gold standard of baseball players, even though Hank Aaron, who broke Ruth's MLB home run record after playing in the Negro League before being signed in the MLB.

And it may be true that baseball has lost some of its sparkle lately. But it will always be there. Take a 20 minute drive along the streets of any major city, and tell me if you don't see at least 5 baseball fields.

Baseball is a sport that is unique to this country. And don't try to tell me that it evolved from Cricket. I've seen Cricket matches, and they're not even close.

Baseball will survive. It may go through rough patches over the years, but it will still be there.

The Cynic

2011-07-09T22:35:00.006-04:00

I've come to the realization that any person who reads a few entries on this blog may think I'm terminally depressed. I know. What a surprise, right?

It's not true.

I'm a cynic. There is a strong difference.

Cynicism has been around since the time of the ancient Greeks. Look it up. Do I really have to tell you people again that I am not your damn search engine?!

I don't believe that I am destined to live a life of happiness. I believe that I am destined to live a life of contentment.

I am content when I sit and enjoy a good movie or a good book. I am content to enjoy a meal of food that I like. I am content to have a job that pays me a living wage and affords me benefits that ensure I will remain in good health, and enjoy a comfortable retirement once I've worked long enough to ensure I have earned that privilege. I'm willing to enjoy the companionship of friends, family, and others if they are willing to offer it to me.

These are things I am willing to work to earn. I don't object to doing so.

What I DO object to is people, be they politicians, pundits, religious leaders, or corporate titans (too often, many are more than one of the above) trying their best to tell me that by doing everything I have described above I'm in the wrong. That I should be doing things differently. And who try to take my right to act as I see fit away from me.

As a cynic, one of my refuges is sarcasm. It's a tool that's been around nearly since the origin of the English language. And it's helped me more times than I can possibly count.

My other refuge is honesty. As a public servant, I've had the opportunity to meet more than a few polticians. And I've always offered them my honest opinion, if I was asked. It hasn't happened often. Honesty is the enemy of politics.

Being a cynic means never being unhappy, or worse, depressed. You can be displeased, disgruntled, or angry, but never unhappy or depressed. Being unhappy or depressed means that you've given up on thinking that things will always be alright. Not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but never broken. I will never think that. And I will continue to make fun of people who think that. These are the people who slit their wrists or pop too many pills.

Those people need professional help. Help they'll never get if the folks who are currently in power have their way.

Food for thought.

The Strangest Dream

2011-07-03T20:16:00.009-04:00

This morning, I woke up from what was quite possibly the strangest dream I've ever experienced. I was, for some inexplicable reason, a reporter reporting about a summer camp that was exclusively for HIV infected children.

As happens with all dreams, the exact details were very fuzzy. But as my brain awoke from its sleep-fogged state, it began to fill in the the details, as often happens with most dreams that people remember.

You have to remember at this point that we do not remember 99% of the dreams we have. That is simply because most of the dreams we experience happen while we are in deep sleep. Many have theorized about the reasoning behind this, but I believe that it is simply our conscious brain's way of protecting us from the thoughts that lie in our sub-conscious--thoughts that are far too dark for us to know and remain sane.

But we do remember the dreams we happen to experience just before we wake up. Most of the time, those dreams have limited detail and those details tend to fade quickly.

But occasionally those dreams stick in our minds.

And this one did.

For some reason--and I'm still trying to figure out why--my mind realized a 3-month-long summer camp, with every slot available in this camp reserved strictly for an HIV positive child.

This camp would be staffed only by counselors, administrators, and medical personnel who were also HIV positive. All of whom, of course, who had passed criminal background checks.

At this camp, the children there--many of whom would be orphans, by the way--would be absolutely unstigmatized by their peers, since they would all be in the same boat. And no staff member there would be the least bit uncomfortable about working with those children, for the same reason.

Also at this camp, these children would, first and foremost, have fun. But they would also learn self-reliance, confidence, and the feeling of peer acceptance.

I wish I could explain where this dream came from. I am certainly not HIV positive, nor do I know anyone who is. And I know from a web search that there are already summer camps in place that cater specifically to HIV infected kids.

But my idea goes farther than a week-long visit. I apparently envisioned a 3 month program, far more complicated than anything I've seen that currently exists.

I've woken up with strange ideas stuck in my head before. With no idea where they came from.

Maybe that's where the ideas that changed the world came from. Not always for the better. And not always for the worse.

At any rate, if anyone out there happens to discover this post and has the resources to make what I envisioned happen, please let me know. I'll be glad to help out in whatever way I can.

The Colbert Report

2011-07-03T00:13:00.002-04:00

When Stephen Colbert split from The Daily Show to start his own satirical show, called The Colbert Report (The last T is usually not pronounced), it was intended to be a satire of such Fox News blowhards like Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck.

The problem was, just like host Jon Stewart's show, people began to take the show WAY too seriously.

Stewart held a tremendous rally on the Washington Mall last year, one that attracted hundreds of thousands of people. And one in which he gave a rousing speech that implored his audience too stop taking news commentators so seriously, and to start treating other people with respect, even if you disagreed with their views.

His message may have been diluted, however, by the constant interruptions of Colbert.

I applaud Stewart for not trying to capitalize on his achievement by seeking more fame, unlike some people.

But Colbert, as much as he may have attempted to make his broadcasts parodies, seems to have underestimated the stupidity of the American public.

People are taking his satirical broadcasts at face value, and are holding him up as a beacon of ridiculous conservatism.

I learned a long time ago to stop asking the question: "How stupid can people get?"

Apparently, no one else did.

If You Don't Cry When You Watch This...

2011-07-01T20:54:00.001-04:00

You need to turn in your credentials as a human being and go back to whatever planet you came from!

My Age is Showing--Again.

2011-07-01T16:45:00.004-04:00

So. I went and saw the new Transformers movie today. In 3-D.

By the way, when they ask you to "recycle" your 3-D glasses, what they really mean is "Give them back to us so we can charge some other poor sucker an extra $4.00 for them".

(And, if they want this 3-D thing to be successful, then they need to come up with a way to get rid of those damn glasses. Seriously. 2 and a half hours of them can cause a seriously raging headache.)

At any rate, one of the robots is voiced by Leonard Nimoy. And, at one point, his character says (paraphrasing): "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

Upon hearing this, I laughed uproariously.

I was the only one.

The theater wasn't that crowded, but still. Was I the only one who spotted the reference?

Apparently.

This has happened before. A few years ago, in the G.I. Joe movie, the character General Hawk utters the line "...And knowing is half the battle." I laughed out loud. People looked at me like I was crazy.

The movie, by the way, was typical Michael Bay: massive explosions and even more massively bad writing. And yet another gorgeous female lead with the acting ability of a butternut squash. This time, however, at least they played to her strengths, or should I say, strength: Her ability to look good. DAMN good. Scorchingly, blisteringly, massively good.

By the way, I was 2 years out of high school before she was even born. As if I needed further proof I'm getting old.

The Valentine Film Series

2011-06-26T20:45:00.006-04:00

In my home town of Toledo, there is a grand theater known as The Valentine. This theater sat abandoned and languishing in downtown for years, until there was a push to restore it to its former glory.

And I gotta say, it succeeded.

I've been to a few events in this theater. Plays, Operas, and, most importantly, showings of vintage Hollywood films.

Downtown Toledo does not have much to attract. Department stores and shopping centers that once attracted thousands of customers have long since moved to the suburbs. About the only people that still hold regular jobs in downtown Toledo are the people that work in City or County government like me. And the only people that don't hold that kind of job work in the restaurants that serve those employees.

But our city fathers keep trying. They work to ensure that the few remaining businesses that stay downtown draw in as many people as they can. Like the Toledo Mud Hens. And the Toledo Walleye.

And the Valentine Theater film series

And, as I sat and enjoyed Jaws yesterday as part of the VFS, I laughed as dozens of audience members screamed after that face popped out of the sunken boat.

(Look it up. How many times do I have to tell you people that I'm not your search engine?!)

I think that it is impossible to express how proud I am as a dweller of a major urban area of the folks who try to keep urban areas thriving. It's an uphill battle.

As if I needed any More Proof...

2011-06-22T23:31:00.002-04:00

There's a movie coming out next month: Friends With Benefits.

As far as I can tell from what I've seen from the trailers and media reports, this movie's plot is almost identical to the movie that came out less than half a year ago. You may recall it: No Strings Attached.

May I also point out some other similarities?

NSA starred Natalie Portman, the Oscar-winning actress from Black Swan. Her co-star was Mila Kunis.

FWB stars Mila Kunis. She was the actress who appeared opposite Natalie Portman in Black Swan

NSA featured Natalie in numerous sexual situations, while exposing her to no actual nudity.

FWB appears to feature Mila mostly the same.

Both movies feature male and female friends who attempt to engage in purely physical relationships. Against the advice of their friends.

Both movies show that such relationships are impossible.

And again I point out that both movies appear less than half a year from each other.

Further proof that there are no original ideas left in Hollywood.

I Pledge Allegiance...

2011-06-15T11:33:00.003-04:00

This may be the funniest--and scariest--thing I've seen in a long time!

I love the "Now come and get your Ritalin" at the end!

My Favorite Expression

2011-06-08T21:49:00.003-04:00

It has always been the one mostly attributed to the Spanish-American Philosopher George Santayana, who wrote--paraphrasing--"Those who forget the lessons of history are doomed to relearn them:.

Those are not the exact words attributed to him.

But wiser words were never spoken or written.

And no words have ever been been more ignored.

Take a look back through history, and think a minute about how many times variations of the same events have been repeated throughout the history of humankind.

Take one of the more recent examples: World War 2.

Only a little more than 20 years after World War 1, a cataclysm that claimed the lives of half the population of Europe, another, even bigger war started--World War 2. And this war claimed even more lives, and was responsible for unleashing the Atomic bomb, currently the most frightening weapon of mass destruction known to the world.

The world now sits in dread of what might happen when and if World War 3 comes.

We, as a species, do not seem to be able to learn from our mistakes. Even mistakes that nearly wipe us out.

This is not the behavior of a rational race. And I fear that this behavior may be our doom.

On the other hand, however, we have survived these errors in judgment for centuries. Maybe someone IS looking out for us. For our own good.

A Disconnect From Reality

2011-05-30T18:31:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon with family and friends at my Sister's house. There were upwards of 25 people there. A big barbecue occurred, along with much chaotic activity by the younger generation.

As the evening approached, the weather began to turn nasty. Thunder and rainstorms approached. Tornado sirens wailed off in the distance.

The normal response when hearing tornado sirens by any rational person is to immediately seek secure shelter, preferably in the basement of whatever structure you happen to be near or in. It really doesn't matter if a tornado will actually come. The point is that when and if a tornado comes, there's very little you can do to protect yourself once it's there. So the rational thing to do is to make sure you are already protected.

So what was the response of everyone there?

Nothing!

Everyone (but me) reacted like tornado sirens were something they heard every day.

Ask the citizens of Joplin, Missouri, if that's a good idea.

After the storms had passed--without incident, thank God--I began to ask myself why no one treated this incident as an emergency.

I can come up with several reasons, not the least of which is that the parents in the group did not want to cause panic among the crowd of youngsters, most of whom were younger than 6 years old.

But I don't think that was it. Arguments like that were used to rationalize George W. Bush's lack of action after being told about the attacks of September 11th, when he sat there looking like someone had hit him in the face with a shovel for seven minutes. I didn't buy it then, and I don't buy it now.

No, I think the real reason is more insidious: the people who dwell in the privileged world that my sister, her family, and her friends currently live in do not believe that anything bad could ever happen to them.

This is understandable, to a certain extent. It's been a long time since my sister or any of her friends had to realize the experience of living from paycheck to paycheck. Or worrying about which expense to put off until the next month because you can't afford it. Or being one major financial setback from living on the street.

I pray that they never have to find out what that feels like.

The Back-Pedaling

2011-05-23T22:01:00.002-04:00

Now that the supposed date of The Rapture has come and gone without incident, the billboards have disappeared, the people who gave away their life savings feel stupid, and, of course, the 89-year-old radio pastor who created all this hoopla in the first place has admitted, for the first time, the possibility that he may have been wrong.

What a surprise.

Of course, the man, Harold Camping, is shocked, SHOCKED, to find that gambling is going on he--I mean, to find that the apocalypse did not happen after all.

The only surprising part to me was not that people believed this Quack's doomsday predictions, but that TENS OF THOUSANDS of people believed them.

Actually, it's not that surprising. P.T. Barnum was incredibly naive. There are hundreds of suckers born every minute.

How else do you explain:

Pyramid schemes.
Bernie Madoff.
Salting mines.
Gold-painted bricks.
The Nigerian Scam.
The Irish Lottery.

(How many times do I have to tell you people that I'm not going to link to those. I ain't your damn search engine!)

I really shouldn't be surprised that Mr. Camping used religion to create the biggest scam of all. Nothing has ever been used to fool people more than religion. And that fact should scare everyone more than anything else in this world.

The Rapture Watch

2011-05-21T00:45:00.007-04:00

It is now officially 45 minutes past midnight EDST as I write this. I'm still here. My dog is still here. Nobody's been taken bodily into heaven yet, at least as far as I know.

If anyone needs a further display of how silly the doomsday prediction was, please stay tuned.

Updates will be continued...

UPDATE: 11:30 a.m.
One half-hour 'til noon, EDST. Still waiting on the rapture. As far as I can tell, none of my neighbors have been taken, including the pastor who lives next door. I figure he would've been one of the first ones to go...

Meh. Whatever. I'm still waiting.

To be continued.

Update: 2:30 P.M. EDST

Still here. So are all my neighbors. So is everyone else, at least judging by the traffic and by the number of people shopping at Costco. And I doubt people were stocking up, because if they thought they were still going to be here, they'd just wait until the others had left and then just loot the store...

Update: 7:00 P.M. EDST

Still here. So is the traffic on the street. Haven't seen my neighbors, but it is Saturday night, it is raining, and I can't expect them to be losers like me. It will be midnight here in 5 hours. Another 6 hours after that it will be officially midnight on the International Date Line. At that point, May 21st, 2011 will officially disappear into the history books. So, Rapture, if you're reading this, you'd better get a move on. You've only got a few hours left!

Update: 11:50 P.M. EDST

In honor of the predicted apocalypse, I got seriously drunk. It is now 10 minutes to midnight EDST. May 21st is about to disappear from my time zone. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow with a major hangover.

Or not. The Rapture has 6 hours left to happen before May 21st crosses the international date line and ceases to exist. Attention Rapture: You have six hours to take me into Heaven before I wake up cursing you on every possible level for doing this to me!

Good night folks! See you tomorrow. Or not. Depending on what happens in the next 6 hours. This update officially ends VITC's rapture watch. I'm going to bed.

FINAL UPDATE: May 22nd.

Well, surprise, surprise. Nothing happened. That's the good (and not unexpected) news.

The bad news is that now I have to go back to work tomorrow. Dammit!

Rich Idiots Should Give Me Money

2011-05-18T23:07:00.003-04:00

I recently heard the news that the cast of MTV's Jersey Shore are demanding $10000 per episode for their "performances" in the series.

So. Now, not only are these people complete idiots--they are now going to be rich idiots.

And I have a plan for them.

As everyone knows, people who are rich need to invest their money. So to you, the rich idiots of the world, I offer you an investment plan. If you send me all of your money, I will invest it for you. I will not invest it in anything that will keep your money safe and secure. I will invest it in my personal expenses. I will invest it in things that will make me happy. In other words, I will use your money in a way that will bring you no security whatsoever. You will lose every dollar you invest with me.

But you won't care. Because you are idiots. You are fools. You know the saying about how a fool and his (or her) money are soon parted. You have an obligation to live up to that saying.

So here are the terms:
1) You must be rich. No one whose personal net worth is less than $10 million need apply.
2) You must be an idiot. The most apt pre-requisite for this requirement is to be a cast member of a reality show. Note: All cast members of Jersey Shore are pre-approved. All other applicants will be judged on a per-case basis.
3) You must realize that any money you invest with me you will never see again. As an idiot, I fully expect that you will have absolutely no problem with this requirement.

If you meet these three requirements, please leave a post in the comments detailing how I may contact you. Please include your name, Social Security number, Mother's maiden name, bank account numbers, credit card information (including the three-digit security code on the back of the card), and anything else you think I might need to access your money.

And don't worry. I will take care of you. And your money. You will get everything you deserve.

Provide for your Pets!

2011-05-16T23:06:00.003-04:00

As the 3 readers of this blog may or may not be aware, this Saturday (May 21st, 2011) is the rapture.

And, as per usual, someone has found a way to take advantage of this.

Of course, the thing I am most pissed off about is that I didn't think of this idea first.

There are an extremely large number of unbalanced, naive, and gullible people out there.

(By the way: did you know the word gullible is not in the dictionary? Look it up!)

By and large, enough of those aforementioned people are just stupid enough to fall for this scam.

And, of course, their rate of customer enrollment must be greatly increasing thanks to this latest prediction, spurred on by a massive advertising campaign.

Ah well. As a Christian, I'm sure I'll be taken in the Rapture anyway. Right? Right?!

Phooey.

The Last One

2011-05-05T22:34:00.003-04:00

Claude Stanley Choules. Born 3/3/1901. Died 5/5/2011. Age: 110.

This man, an Australian, was the last surviving combat veteran of World War I.

World War I was called "The War to End All Wars". At the time, it was a global cataclysm that engulfed nearly every industrialized nation in the world. It decimated the populations of Europe, England, Russia, Turkey, and other countries. It unleashed methods of destroying human life like the world had never seen before.

More importantly, it should have been a lesson to humanity about the terrible price to pay for allowing ourselves to think all of our problems could be solved with violence.

Only 31 years after the end of WW1, another global war began. It took humanity no more than a single generation to forget the lessons learned from the first one.

Since the end of that conflict, there has rarely been a moment in time where there was not war somewhere in the world. Why is it that humanity is unable to learn the lessons of history?

By all accounts, Mr. Choules became a lifelong pacifist after his service. He refused to march in Veterans' parades, or participate in any commemorations of events of the war. He thought that war should not be celebrated. He was right.

The man lived a full and rich life. All 110+ years of it. He had 3 children with his wife of 76 years. He knew how to be happy.

I wish we could all learn how to do the same.

Me Like!!

2011-05-04T21:44:00.002-04:00

Obama displays some first-class comedy chops...

And turns Donald Trump from possible Presidential candidate to national joke literally overnight.

They Got Him

2011-05-01T22:57:00.002-04:00

As I write this post, American news organizations are jubilantly announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden.

This is nearly a decade after he organized the destruction of the World Trade Center.

This is nearly a decade after George W. Bush declared that we would find him "Dead or Alive".

So now what?

Explain to me how this will end terrorism?

Explain to me how this will fix the world's problems?

Explain to me how this will make him anything more than a permanent martyr?

I once saw a Warner Brothers Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote cartoon. W.E. chased R.R. into a pipe that got smaller and smaller. At the end of the pipe, they both came out tiny. W.E. waved R.R. back into the pipe. Back at the big end, W.E. came out still tiny, while R.R. was back to full size. W.E. then held up a sign that said this "You always wanted me to catch him. Now what do I do?"

We can now celebrate the death of this ruthless madman. If he truly is dead, I sincerely hope he rots in hell for all eternity, and then for a few centuries after that. But I have sincere doubts that his death will have any effect on the long-term terror problem.

Time will tell.

The Birth Certificate

2011-04-27T22:20:00.003-04:00

So it has finally happened. President Barack Obama has finally released an official copy of his birth certificate. And here is his reason:

"We do not have time for silliness."

Truer words were never spoken.

Dear Republicans: Please nominate Donald Trump as your presidential candidate next year. And tell him to select Michelle Bachman as his running mate. I can't think of a better way to ensure that your party takes a 50-state beating.

Maundy Wednesday??

2011-04-18T20:17:00.003-04:00

So, the latest bombshell dropped on Christianity is that The Last Supper actually happened on the Wednesday before Good Friday.

Apparently, Jesus, who was Jewish (Try to find the argument against that), practiced his faith according to an older calendar that recognized that the festival of Passover (Yes, the last supper was a Passover dinner--look it up!) as happening on the Wednesday of the Jewish Holy week, rather than Thursday, as has been long recognized in the Christian and Jewish faith alike.

My question is this: Who gives a flying f*&^?!

The date of the Last Supper really isn't all that important, don't you think?

What counts most for those of us who are practicing Christians is that on the Friday after the Last Supper, Jesus allowed himself to be painfully tortured and killed, so that we might all be redeemed from our lives of sin. All that was asked of us in return was that we try to follow his example of selfless sacrifice as best as we could. It's not something that many of us succeed at doing, but we can only try our best to do so.

For me, the whole timeline of the life and death of Jesus is a little farfetched. How on earth is it possible that a man can be welcomed into a major city as a savior on one Sunday, and then, less than a week later, be condemned as a traitor to the ruling government, one to be put to death in less than a day? And how is it that someone who was quietly spreading as many controversial ideas as he did came to the attention of the authorities of the day as quickly as is stated in the scripture? Remember that this happened about 2000 years before the creation of the internet and CNN.

I think it is far more likely that Jesus taught his ideas for weeks, months, or even years before he was put to death. And he was executed for spreading unpopular beliefs among the subjects of the government in power. As have been many others throughout history.

Regardless, I find my belief in Jesus comforting. It does not matter to me whether he was killed 2 days after his last supper or 2 years after it. The mere fact that there was a man willing to sacrifice himself in the hope that he could save others makes me believe that our species is destined to be greater than what we have become. Our history is filled with stories of those who willingly gave their lives to save others.

I hope that never stops happening.

Upstairs Downstairs

2011-04-08T22:58:00.002-04:00

When I was a young boy (yes, I was young once), I can remember my mother excitedly tuning in to every weekly episode of the series Upstairs Downstairs that was broadcast on our local PBS station every week.

When the original series aired, I was far too young to really understand what it was all about. I had a vague idea that it was about people that existed in two different worlds: The privileged people who lived the high life "upstairs", and the poor folks who worked "downstairs" to ensure that the lives of the people "upstairs" were not disrupted.

I don't pretend to understand the appeal of this show to my mother, but I can make an educated guess: My mom was never rich by any stretch of the imagination. She grew up in a small rural town, on a working small farm. She was one of the first children in her family to go to college and get a degree. In other words, she worked very hard to exceed all expectations.

She used her degree to become a school teacher; to enrich young lives. It was a career she continued throughout her working life. When she first stopped working to raise me and my sister, she went back to teaching after she first left the profession. It was a career she continued until her cancer forced her to retire.

Perhaps coincidentally, the time she took off from her career was right around the time the first episode of Upstairs Downstairs aired in the U.S. And even if she had to watch it on a tiny Black & White TV (look it up, sparky!) with a fuzzy signal, she had to have appreciated how important it was to see how much the lower class people made sure the upper class depended on them.

Perhaps not. Maybe she was just a fan of well-written, quality television shows (a rarity in this day and age).

At any rate, a sequel to U-D is going to air this Sunday in the U.S. I plan on tuning it to watch it. In honor of my mom, if for no other reason.

God save the Queen!

An Economics Lesson

2011-04-05T17:25:00.006-04:00

These are $15.99 Ohio State steel reusable water bottles (sorry about the poor picture quality):

This is a $3.00 steel reusable water bottle, bought at a local Grocery Store:

This is a sheet of Ohio State vinyl stickers, costing $1.99:

This is now an Ohio State steel reusable water bottle. Total cost: $4.99:

Take that!

My Ears Are Bleeding!

2011-03-25T19:27:00.004-04:00

I don't want to go on living!

Three words: Rebecca. Black. Friday.

Gah!

I will spare you the three readers of this blog the punishment of listening to this song for one single second. However, here is a version of the song and video that is approximately 450 times better than the original:

Utterly PERFECT synching! Gots ta love me that Death Metal! I'm still laughing my ass off!

(By the way, who is the black guy, and how does he fit into the whole thing?

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire

2011-03-24T22:55:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is the 100th anniversary of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire of New York City.

I must confess: As an ardent supporter of Labor rights, I was unaware of this tragedy until I heard about it on NPR's Morning Edition earlier today.

For those of you too lazy to follow the link above, let me give a brief description: A fire broke out in an NYC garment factory (Shirtwaist is a fancy way to say Woman's blouse) during a Saturday work shift (yes, folks, back then having Saturday off was unheard of).

The factory owners had locked the main exit doors, ostensibly to prevent theft. The exact cause of the fire is not known, but the fire started on the 8th floor of the building. The one fire escape that was open quickly collapsed due to heat from the fire and overcrowding. With no way out, many of the workers leapt to their deaths to escape the flames, while many more were killed by the fire and smoke. Elevator operators in the building saved as many as they could, but the elevators soon became inoperable due to heat damage and to victims jumping into the open shafts. NYFD members could only stand by and watch helplessly as people leaped to their deaths, since their ladders could not reach the engulfed floors. I would imagine the first responders at the World Trade Center knew how they felt that day.

Most of the victims were women, and when I say women I should say girls who were ages 16-24, most of whom were Jewish immigrants from Europe and elsewhere.

It was the worst industrial tragedy in the History of New York City, and one of the worst industrial tragedies in the history of this country. 146 people died, with 71 injured. The factory owners were--of course--acquitted of manslaughter charges thanks to their lawyers, but I am sure they are roasting in hell today, forced to watch for all eternity the people they killed jump from their building time and time again.

Some good came from it, of course. A number of workplace safety laws sprang from this tragedy, and it helped spur the unionization of garment workers.

Why, though, does it always seem to take a tragedy before we work to change something that is unsafe? Are we as a people unable to learn the lessons of history until they have bloodied our noses time and time again?

Out of Ideas

2011-03-21T23:04:00.002-04:00

Hollyweird has no new ideas left.

Doubt me? Well, then try this little test:

Think of any movie you've seen within the last 5 years or so.

See if it doesn't fall into one (or more) of the following categories:

1) A Sequel
2) Based on a comic book
3) Based on a book (or short story)
4) Based on a TV show
5) A "RomCom" whose plot you've already seen 10 times
6) A sports movie where the underdog wins (or almost wins)
7) An action movie where the hero (or anti-hero) seeks revenge for a past wrong.
8) "Based on" or "Inspired" by true events.
9) A remake
10) Based on an underage character displaying maturity beyond his or her years.

Let's look at the Oscar nominees for Best Picture from last year:

Inception: People entering other people's dreams to discover secrets buried in their subconscious = Dreamscape
The Fighter = Rocky + Category 8 above
Black Swan = Any movie where talented virtuoso driven crazy by pressure to perform.
The Kids Are All Right = Children of a lesbian couple seek their biological father. Category 8. Many, many times
The King's Speech = Category 8
127 hours = Category 8 strikes again!
The Social Network = Cat 8. The gift that keeps on giving.
Toy Story 3 = Category 1
True Grit = Category 9
Winter's Bone = Category 10

If anyone has a different view, I invite you to share it here.

Speaking of Selective Editing...

2011-03-21T17:29:00.002-04:00

I had a letter published in the paper today. Here's the original letter I sent:

I am deeply disappointed that The Blade, along with just about every other major media outlet, was so easily duped by the 11 minutes of video footage of NPR executive Ron Schiller posted to a conservative blog by James O'Keefe ("NPR all at Sea", March 13th)
A careful analysis of the nearly 2-hour-long full video (posted by O'Keefe specifically for that purpose) by NPR, with the aid of professional video and audio analysts, as well as by the editor of the conservative website TheBlaze.com, reveals that the 11 minutes of footage O'Keefe released originally was heavily edited and presented out of sequence. It was designed to portray Schiller--and, by extension, NPR, in the worst possible light. And it succeeded, apparently. Schiller, and his boss, NPR CEO Vivian Schiller (no relation), were almost immediately fired. And Republicans in congress seized on it as further proof of the need to strip NPR of all government funding.
I realize that in this day and age, the rush to get the story first can sometimes overwhelm sound judgment, but, given O'Keefe's past record and activities, perhaps a little more caution was called for.

Here's what was published:

The Blade, along with just about every other major media outlet, was duped by the 11 minutes of video footage of NPR executive Ron Schiller posted on a conservative blog by James O'Keefe ("NPR all at sea," editorial, March 13).
Analysis of the almost two-hour-long video showed that the footage Mr. O'Keefe originally released was heavily edited and presented out of sequence. It was designed to portray Mr. Schiller -- and NPR -- in the worst possible light. And it succeeded.
Mr. Schiller, and his boss, NPR CEO Vivian Schiller, resigned. Republicans in Congress seized on the video as further proof of the need to strip NPR of all government funding.
I realize that the rush to get the story first can sometimes overwhelm sound judgment, but given Mr. O'Keefe's past record, perhaps a little more caution was called for.

Selective editing? You be the judge.

The Debate Over Celibacy

2011-03-20T06:19:00.000-04:00

I heard a story on the radio a few days ago that should be of great concern to practicing Catholics everywhere.

It seems that there is a growing shortage of priests, in Europe and in other industrialized nations, one that could spell long-term trouble for the Church.

The primary reason for this shortage is simple enough and can be summed up in one word: Celibacy.

The celibacy requirement for Catholic clergy is one of the primary things that drives young men away from a life of service, and keeps older married men who feel a calling later in life away from service as well. It is difficult in this day and age for any man (or woman, for that matter) to willingly agree to forgo one of the most basic human biological needs, for life. To willingly agree to never engage in one of the most joyful and intimate interactions between two human beings. To never boink anyone ever again, in other (and much more simpler) words.

This is a requirement that goes against all possible logic. In nearly every other major organized religion (and many that aren't quite so major), not only are the spiritual leaders of those faiths allowed to marry and produce offspring, they are encouraged to do so. It is, after all, perhaps the best way to guarantee the continuation of that faith.

I don't pretend to know all that much about Catholicism (I don't spend a lot of time studying something I don't believe in). But I know many of the Celibacy arguments. Jesus was celibate (Dan Brown books notwithstanding) so the Church believes the leaders of the faith should do the same. And a priest without a family to worry about can devote his time to tending to his flock. And while most churches are willing to support their leader, few want to pay to support his family too.

But those arguments simply don't hold up in this day and age. Nearly every pastor in every church I have ever belonged to was a devoted family man, and I think it made them better for it. And while it is hard for most small parishes to support even a single clergyman, there is no law in this day and age that prevents a woman from getting a job.

And of course there's the ugly truth: sexual repression can lead to perversion. One need look only at the decades of scandals that have reverberated throughout the Catholic Church to see that.

I do not see the celibacy rule being canceled, or even modified, under the current Papacy, or any of the other requirements for clergy. But the simple truth is this: The Church has got to start changing with the times. Otherwise, it is going to see its numbers--and its influence--dwindle more and more with each passing year.

Lexington and Concord

2011-03-16T20:40:00.003-04:00

Now in New Hampshire, not in Massachusetts.

At least according to wright-wing wingnut Michele Bachmann.

Note: Embedding was disabled, but the link to the video is here.

The sheer depth of the ignorance of this woman (and, apparently, of the people who write her remarks) is staggering.

This is an elected representative from the state of Minnesota.

This is an elected member of the U.S. House of Representatives.

This is one of 535 people who decide what laws will be made.

Scared, anyone?

We Need NPR

2011-03-14T17:33:00.005-04:00

We need NPR.

I am a longtime listener of National Public Radio’s news programs. From the moment I wake up in the morning until the moment I walk into my office, I listen to NPR’s Morning Edition program. In the afternoon, during the drive home, my radio is tuned to NPR’s All Things Considered. I have always considered NPR to be a trusted source of news. They have always fought to find the truth behind the story. It was NPR that first broke the story that the volume of oil spilling from the broken well in the Gulf of Mexico was much greater than we had been led to believe by BP and others. It was from NPR that I learned that a private corrections company provided the impetus behind Arizona’s anti-immigrant law—they stood to profit from building new prisons that would have to be built to house the people arrested under the law. And that’s just a couple of examples.

So imagine my surprise that conservative activist James O’Keefe, of the ACORN video sting and Mary Landrieu office break-in fame, once again using a hidden camera and heavily edited footage, tried to make NPR look bad. He had two of his “citizen journalists” pose as representatives of a wealthy Muslim Trust and meet with Ron Schiller, NPR’s top fundraising executive, and attempt to coax statements from him disparaging conservatives, the TEA party, and Republicans. And imagine my surprise once again that every “legitimate” news organization in the country broke legs in their haste to jump to conclusions about “National Pravda Radio”.

NPR, of course, did what no other “legitimate” news organization in the country could be bothered to do: They took the time to view and analyze the entire footage of the over two-hour long “raw” video that O’Keefe posted on his website (for just that purpose, by the way). They did this with the help of various professional video and audio analysts, including one who works for The Blaze, a news aggregate site founded by none other than Glenn Beck. And they discovered—surprise, surprise—that the 11 minutes O’Keefe originally posted were HEAVILY edited and slanted to make Schiller—and, by extension, NPR—look bad. The short tape contains footage taken out of sequence and quotes that then had responses cut off. I would imagine that, had there been a clock in the background of the video, you would have seen it jumping back and forth.

Listen to the full story here. Pay particular attention to the part where one analyst describes how he heard at least six times where Schiller asserted that no donor to NPR, private or public, may influence NPR’s coverage of the news.

In the light of the full footage being released, many news commenters and organizations are regretting the fact that they rushed to judgment of NPR based on one heavily edited, 11-minute video, especially given O'Keefe's past record.

Too little, too late. To paraphrase the great Louis Renault, police prefect of Casablanca:

"I'm shocked, shocked to find that video editing is going on here!"
"Your edited video, sir."
"Oh, thank you very much. Everyone out!"

Don't get me wrong. I am not defending some of the comments Schiller made, particularly the part where he claimed NPR might be better off--in the long-term--without Federal funding. What was NOT shown in the edited version is him talking about the short-term damage such a cutoff would cause.

NPR is impressive in its fund-raising efforts. It raises six dollars on its own for every one that it gets from the government. It raises money from listeners (my local affiliate gets 40% of its annual operating budget directly from its listeners), corporate sponsors, private philanthropic organizations, and many other sources.

But it needs those Federal dollars, especially in today's economy. Plus, even if donors have no control over NPR's news coverage, they do control their own money. And there is no guarantee that money will always be available. And we need a source of news that is not 100% controlled by the very corporations it reports on. And complain all you want about the "liberal bias". A better way of saying it might be this: The truth hurts.

Business As Usual

2011-03-13T14:42:00.004-04:00

Big Business is at it again.

Koch Industries, currently run by the Koch brothers--the same ones who financed the campaign of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, and who are currently financing the gutting of public employee rights there--has organized several "guerrilla internet training" courses. In these courses, Naive, clueless TEA party rubes are taught how to use internet book-selling sites like Amazon.com to increase negative opinion for "liberal" books and increase positive opinion for conservative books. Here's a video:

In other words, this giant, multi-billion dollar corporation, is using its financial resources to create a fake conservative grassroots movement designed to look like a people-powered movement similar to REAL people-powered organizations like Moveon. This faking of grassroots movements is called, appropriately enough, "astroturfing".

The TEA party is entirely a creation of the Koch Brothers. Each one of them has accumulated more money than they could ever possibly spend in 1,000 lifetimes. Both of them are over 70. And yet they aggressively pursue even more wealth by financing movements and campaigns designed to elect politicians that will enact policies that will be friendly to their interests at the expense of others.

I realize that this is by no means the first time in history that wealthy businessmen have sought to control public policy to their benefit. But just because a thing has happened before, that doesn't always make it an example to be followed over and over--and over--again.

I realize that it is tough to behave ethically if you are a business. One thing I learned from my various business ethics courses is that before undertaking any action, a business will always ask three things, in this order:

1) Is it profitable?--No business will ever undertake any action that will cause it to lose money. Not if it wants to stay in business
2) Is it legal?--Even if it isn't, often businesses do not consider that a deal-breaker.

Then, and ONLY then, will the final question be asked:
3) Is it ethical?

That last question is the one that is most often overlooked, if not downright ignored.

And every time it is, it diminishes everyone a little bit more.

The Governor of Indiana

2011-03-10T21:04:00.002-05:00

Mitch Daniels is the current Governor of Indiana, a state that is less than an hour's drive away from my hometown. He is frequently mentioned as a likely candidate for the Republican nominee for President.

To start with, I don't like this guy on principle. He is a union-buster. He supports massive spending cuts as the way to solve all problems. He opposes any increase in property taxes, making up for that with increases in sales tax. He worked in the George W. Bush administration. He denies global warming. He privatized the Indiana Turnpike (selling it to foreign investors). He privatized welfare. I'm not sure, but I think this guy is in favor of replacing the Police with private security firms:

"9-1-1"
"Yes! I need the police! There's a man trying to break into my house! I think he wants to rape and murder me!"
"And will you be paying for this service call with Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?"
"WHAT?! I don't have my wallet! This man is going to kill me!"
"I'm sorry, but without a means of payment, our forces cannot respond at this time. Thank you for calling. Goodbye." (Click)
"Hello? Hello? HELLO?!! HELP M-" (click)

Raise your hand if you think that's a good idea.

And yet, every conservative pundit in the country loves him. He is thought of as an intellectual conservative, something that is about as rare as a ethical politician. This is a man who got a state constitutional amendment adopted that raises sales taxes while reducing property taxes to some of the lowest in the country. In other words, this is a man who raises taxes on the poor and lowers them on the rich--the definition of the typical Republican--all while pretending to be on the side of the common man. And he does this after destroying the one group that was able to oppose him--unions.

And this man, with the massive corporate backing that he will no doubt receive if he becomes the Repuglican candidate for President, will be running for President next year.

And no one cares, because--HEY, LOOK OVER THERE! CHARLIE SHEEN DID SOMETHING WACKY!

A Trend?

2011-03-07T23:00:00.002-05:00

You know, when I posted that video yesterday, I thought it was a single aberration. Now I see that it's apparently part of a trend

(AGAIN: EXTREMELY NSFW!!!!)

Which came first? The girls or the guys (and a few girls)?

Either way, yesterday it was funny. Today I'm starting to see it as part of a somewhat disturbing trend.

I'm not sure what disturbs me more: The girls singing about bitches and whores, or the fact that both groups are able to do the whole thing utterly deadpan...

Oh. And One Other Thing...

2011-03-06T16:37:00.003-05:00

A sure sign of the impending apocalypse:

It. Has. A. Book.

FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!

I Think I Pi***d Myself

2011-03-06T15:50:00.003-05:00

Did you ever wonder what it would look and sound like if a girls glee club decided to sing an extremely graphic "gangsta" rap song?

If you answered yes, then apparently you thought along the same lines as these girls:
(WARNING: EXTREMELY NSFW!!!!)
(For the uninitiated, that means Not! Safe! For! Work!)

It's so wrong. And yet I can't help myself. I don't think I've ever laughed so long or so hard in my life!

ZOMBIES!!!

2011-02-28T23:40:00.004-05:00

What is it about Zombies?!

Zombies, it seems, are everywhere these days.

Zombies are officially defined as "the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose."

It's that second-to-last word that is the key.

Evil (in case you missed it).

The re-animation of corpses has become a popular instrument of entertainment, starting in 1968 with George Romero's "Night of the Living Dead" and, in their most recent incarnation, the new video game "Dead Island".

(If you watch that clip in reverse, it makes a lot more sense. Trust me.)

By the way, the creators of this game need to seek psychological help. Seriously. Who in their right mind envisions a pleasant family vacation that gets interrupted by flesh-eating zombies?! No one, that's who.

But the Zombie Apocalypse phenomenon has become a major tool of recent fiction, in everything from books to TV to Film to Music. And a lot of people are getting rich off of it. It's become the latest fad, much like the "coming Rapture" was a few years ago (and may be again about a year and a half from now, give or take a few months. But I digress.)

Granted, I will accept that some instances of Zombieism may actually be possible in some bizarre way, due to outside influences--(Half-Life's Headcrab Zombies, Resident Evil's Virus infected Zombies, and 28 days later's "rage"-infected zombies--come to mind (Bing them--do I have to say again that I ain't your damn search engine?!))

But does anyone really believe that some day, for no apparent reason, the corpses of every person that dies will suddenly come to life and immediately hunger for the flesh of the living? And that every person even scratched by one of said re-animated zombies will become one?

Apparently, yes. At least enough to make it VERY profitable. It has to be. Otherwise, the phenomenon would have ended a LONG time ago!

I am Psychic

2011-02-26T18:45:00.003-05:00

A few months ago, I posted this entry about the number one reason labor unions are a good thing.

And, as I watch the events unfold in Wisconsin, and here in my state of Ohio, I realize just how prescient I was.

The governor of Wisconsin is engaged in a push to pass through a bill that will take away the right of public employees to collectively bargain. It will also do a few other nasty things. Mainly, it will allow the government to sell any state-owned facility that provides heating, cooling, and electricity to a private corporation or entity without any competitive bidding. Do I need to explain to anyone the potential problems with that?

The proposed bill also will allow officials appointed by the governor to make cuts in health care to poor families without any legislative oversight. As if the poor needed any more obstacles in their path. Desperate Democrats, of course, are doing everything they can to stop it. And they have a LOT of support, whipped up by nearly every progressive organization from every state in the country.

Here in my state of Ohio, of course, newly elected Republican Governor John Kasich is attempting to enact similar measures, apparently taking his VERY slim win last November (he didn't even get a majority of the votes) as a mandate to do whatever he pleases. All these changes are proposed, of course, in the name of cutting the state deficit. That, of course, is ridiculous. It is not the public employees that caused the state's massive budget deficit. It was the financial crisis precipitated under a Republican administration and fed by the unregulated financial markets that ruled under same.

Ohio's governor, of course, worked for Lehman Brothers before he entered politics. At his advice, Ohio's Public Employee pension fund, of which I am a contributing member, invested heavily in Lehman Brothers. I think we all know what happened. Now, instead of focusing on the real problems, like cutting back the massive tax breaks received by the wealthy, which are one of the major causes of the budget deficits, he is instead scapegoating the public workers and doing his best to strip them of all of their rights. To strip me of my rights.

I have been a public servant for nearly fifteen years now. I have devoted more than half of my working life to public service. I am not rich by any stretch of the imagination. I barely make ends meet. I have a 90 year old house that is gradually falling apart around me. I drive a 12 year old compact car. I make less than $30K a year and I can barely support myself. I am not the cause of the state budget deficit. Nor are any of my co-workers, or any of the other 4000 or so county employees who I work alongside every, along with the thousands of city, state, and federal employees who work with us to make sure the lights stay on, the water flows from the taps, the roads stay passable, the streets stay safe, and the mail gets delivered. And yes, there are corrupt public employees only interested in enriching themselves, but such employees are the exception, not the rule.

If the Governors of Wisconsin and Ohio, as well as many other states, have their way, then all of those services will eventually become the responsibility of private, for-profit corporations. Corporations, I might add, that might not even be America-based. Corporations that will have no interest in anything but increasing their profits at the expense of everything else.

Labor unions are our only line of defense against them. An organized workforce is the only way to stop corporations from completely controlling our lives. And that is the primary reason why corporations, and their Republican lap dogs, are doing everything in their power to destroy them.

This whole cycle is nothing new, of course. Over 100 years ago the first labor unions faced the same challenges they are facing today. Union members fought, and, in many cases, died, to earn the rights workers enjoy today.

Those members are watching us today. And they will judge us by what happens. I hope they are not disappointed.

I'm not optimistic.

I Take it Back!

2011-02-22T22:50:00.002-05:00

No it is not wrong.

Yesterday, I thought I was wrong for enjoying the video of Justin Bieber being shot--over and over and over...and over. Because I saw this picture:

After seeing this, I have concluded that he was not shot enough.

And they should have used real bullets. And not by accident.

So I'll keep watching that video. Over. And over. And over. In spite of my well-documented hatred for Google and YouTube.

It's so Wrong...but I can't help it!

2011-02-21T21:53:00.002-05:00

There is no way that I can stop enjoying this!

Please tell me that I am wrong to be so happy about this!

Please!

Anyone?!

Anyone?!!!

Jersey Shore

2011-02-17T21:49:00.003-05:00

In the last post, I jokingly mentioned how we as a nation, and possibly as a people, were being collectively dumbed down by shows like Jersey Shore and Keeping up with the Kardashians. I joked that it was one of the steps to prepare us for being taken over by computers.

Then I saw this picture.

(Note: Pay close attention to the viewership numbers at the bottom of the page.)

I'm not joking any more.

I weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

Open the Pod Bay Doors, HAL!

2011-02-15T19:32:00.004-05:00

As I write this, I am watching night 2 of a 3 night event: A computer vs. Jeopardy.

Apparently, 3 years ago, the eggheads at IBM approached the producers of the daily game show with a request: They wanted to build a computer that could challenge human players.

Challenge. Accepted.

Jeopardy chose its two biggest money winners: Ken Jennings, who set a record for most consecutive wins, and Brad Rutter, the all-time biggest money winner, to compete against IBM in what is basically a 3 night commercial for the company.

Against them is Watson, an advanced supercomputer with Gigabytes of useless knowledge in its memory banks, an ability to recognize puns, wordplay, and other quirks of the human language, and a superhuman ability to recall.

The first night, it started off strong, but then made a couple of very silly mistakes that cost it some money. It also has the tendency to mis-pronounce things, and it has a very strange wagering system when it comes to the daily doubles.

It also scares me a little.

There is no computer that can currently match the human brain, in terms of reasoning power, intuitive thinking, and creativity. Not even close.

But they are working on it. And give us humans a few more seasons of "Jersey Shore" and "Keeping up with the Kardashians" (I wouldn't watch either show if you held me at gunpoint, by the way) and we will become collectively as dumb as a bag of frozen shrimp. Throw in the explosion of smart phones, and I think we will soon be ready to become the slaves of the machines.

Terminator, anyone?

Update (8 p.m.): Watson won the Double Jeopardy round, winning over $36,000 total. It did not come up with the correct "question" to the Final Jeopardy "answer" (paraphrasing): "This (U.S.) city's largest airport is named after a WW2 hero, and its second largest is named after a WW2 battle. (Question: What is Chicago?(O'Hare & Midway)). The computer, however, wisely only wagered about $500. Also, Toronto is apparently now a U.S. city. It is in the lead for the final round tomorrow.

Update (8 p.m. Wednesday): It's over, and Watson has triumphed! This round was a lot more even than the previous round, possibly because it had more bizarre categories. Watson also showed a weakness in the "Actors who direct" category, which simply gave the names of some movies and the contestants had to give the name of the actor who directed (and sometimes starred) in the movie.

So machine triumphs over man yet again. Ken Jennings came close to beating it, nearly pulling a John Henry at the end. But he didn't wager enough in the final Jeopardy round, and Watson went for broke, betting nearly all of its money.

At least when the machines take us over, I'll be too old to work in the slave labor force and will be killed. I feel sorry for my nephews, though...

Fiddling While Cairo Burns

2011-01-30T16:42:00.003-05:00

A week ago, I returned from my vacation to the Caribbean. My dad continued on to New York, and then a trip to Egypt for a week-long cruise up the Nile.

At the worst possible time, apparently.

Yes, my dad landed in Cairo, about 1 day before the protests started.

He managed to make his way to the docks where he boarded his cruise ship. And blithely sailed on, ignoring the growing protests.

The ship set sail up the Nile river, despite everything that was happening in Egypt.

He spent 3 days sailing. Meanwhile, both my sister and I continuously tried to get a hold of him. Of course, cellphones were cut off, so all we got was voice-mail.

And then he contacted us using ship's phones. And stated his intention to continue sailing. This AFTER we learned that both America and the European countries have advised their citizens to leave Egypt for their own safety.

Meanwhile, the rioting got worse.

Finally today, we learned that the ship had been stopped in Luxor, Egypt. All passengers were debarked, and flights were chartered out of the Luxor airport. At approximately 3 PM EDST today, my dad boarded a flight for Milan, Italy. The distance from Luxor to Milan is approximately the same as the distance from my home city of Toledo, Ohio to Florida. So about a 3 hour flight, give or take a few minutes. So presumably he is, as I write this, about an hour or so from landing safely in Italy. Thank God.

I'm sure he is disappointed about not being able to complete his trip. And he'll probably schedule another trip to Egypt as soon as possible. Possibly followed by a trip to Tunisia, and then maybe Somalia.

Every time my dad goes off on a trip somewhere, I fear for his safety a bit. And then I thank God that he sends my Mom to look after him every time. And that she does a great job. Thanks to you both. And mom, if you manage to read this somehow, please keep up the good work. I know you miss him, but we'd like to keep him around here for a few more years.

I'm Back

2011-01-24T21:58:00.002-05:00

Well, folks, I recently spent a week sailing through the Carribbean on a ship that is designed to make people feel like they aren't actually on a ship. Seriously. This ship (The MS Westerdam--Holland America Lines) is not so much a ship as it is a 900-foot long, 12-story high floating building.

Not having a laptop, and not wanting to pay the OUTRAGEOUS fees for internet access ($80 for 100 minutes!), I was forced to hold my thoughts.

I took some notes of my journey each day using pen and paper (yes, it does occasionally still happen!). Over the course of the next few days, I hope to translate and augment those notes--and thoughts--into this forum, hopefully augmented by pictures and links.

With any luck, you the three readers of this blog will be treated to a Magnum Opus on par with last year's blog entries on my reflections on my trip to Hawaii. Or at least a fairly normal travelogue.

But give me a day or two. Last week at a few hours before this time I was warming myself in tropical sunshine. Today I am walking around wearing 3 layers and feeling a sub-zero wind chill. It will take me a while to recover.

The President's Speech

2011-01-13T15:57:00.003-05:00

To heck with The King!

Peace out, people. I'm goin' on vacay!

It Was Inevitable

2011-01-09T09:17:00.002-05:00

I'm sure all 3 of my readers by now have heard the tragic news about yesterday's fatal shooting incident. A single suspect, apparently targeting Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle "Gabby" Giffords, shot and killed 6 people, including both a Federal judge and a nine-year-old girl. The congresswoman herself was seriously wounded, as were 12 others. As of this writing, the congresswoman, who was shot in the head, is in critical condition.

While I am shocked at the incident, I'm really not surprised.

The tone of political rhetoric in this country, not exactly calm before the 2008 election of Barack Obama, exploded after his election. The most extreme conservatives began screaming for the violent overthrow of the government, for states to secede from the union, and for people to take matters into their own hands by killing their political representatives.

Yesterday, one troubled individual apparently decided to act on that last suggestion. And, while the congresswoman herself was not killed (hopefully), all reports indicate that she was the target of the attack.

Also worth noting is that the congresswoman was one of the ones "targeted" by Sarah Palin by her infamous "crosshairs". Today, Ms. Palin has removed the crosshairs from Gifford's district. The cynical part of me can't help thinking that the only reason she removed them was that they were no longer necessary. This thinking will continue unless and until she removes them all. How do you feel now, Sarah?

To anyone else out there who thinks this incident was a good thing, and that more shootings are called for, I sincerely invite you to go fuck yourselves. YOU, and, by extension, your cohort in Arizona, Jared Loughner, are symbolic of everything that is currently wrong in this country.

I close with this quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
""Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

My prayers are with you and your family, Congresswoman Giffords.

The Year 2010 in Review (Part The Second):

2010-12-31T20:57:00.003-05:00

Worst move of the year: Unstoppable. I’m well aware that my view of this movie—which was “inspired by true events”—may have been biased by my being so familiar with the rather mundane “true events” that “inspired” this movie, but Hollyweird really stretched the limits with this one. I know that most movies require you to suspend your disbelief to a certain extent, but if they’re going to make a claim like that, they should at least try to make it a little more believable.

Movie I’m glad I never saw: 2-way tie between The Book of Eli and The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3. Seriously. From what I’ve heard, at the rate Denzel Washington is going, he’s going to be racing Nicholas Cage to the direct-to-video market. What is wrong with him?!
Runner-up: The Losers. Not one legitimate movie critic, nor anyone I’ve talked to, has had anything good to say about this movie. Chris Evans is slated to be Captain America in an upcoming movie, and he apparently has his work cut out for him after this movie.

Movie I wish I’d seen: The Expendables. From what I’ve heard, this attempt by a group of D-listers to resurrect their careers while at the same time poking fun at themselves wasn’t half bad. I hope to catch it on DVD at some point.

Movie surprise of the Year: RED. In this year of reality TV, Hollywood scandals, and effects-heavy, plot-light movies, it was nice to see a group of old school Hollywood actors put on an acting clinic. The plot was a little weak, but the star power made up for it. And seeing Helen Mirren manning a .50-caliber heavy Machine gun was priceless!

Favorite TV show of the year: “The Good Wife”. I was pleasantly surprised by this show in its first season, and it’s only gotten better its sophomore year. Julianna Margulies belongs in front of a TV camera, and the supporting cast is every bit as good as she is.
Runner-up: “The Good Guys”. This show began as a summer season bit of fun, and it has become a regular part of Fox’s Friday lineup. It’s funny, well-written, and, most importantly, doesn’t take itself too seriously. Plus, Brad Whitford’s molesterstache alone makes me laugh more than anything else!

Most disappointing TV show of the year: “Outlaws”. I’ve been a fan of Jimmy Smits ever since his “L.A. Law” days, so frankly I was VERY disappointed with his latest effort. Seriously. He was really phoning it in. Apparently, so was everyone else, since the show died a quick and deserved death.
Runner-up: “Blue Bloods”. I really think they should have spent a little less on actors and more on writers. The quality actors in this show do the best they can with what they’ve been given, which is probably why the show is still on, but it’s still a pretty weak effort.

Most dreaded TV show return: “V”. A TV show inspired by a flop from 2 decades ago, and its sole claim to fame is the clip of Morena Baccarin blinking her ridiculously long lashes in time to the final stanza of Muse’s “Uprising” in one of the show’s promos. I managed to make it through one episode, and that’s an hour of my life I wish I had back.
Runner-up: “Desperate Housewives”. Don’t even get me started.

And with that, I say goodbye to 2010 and hello to 2011. I wish all 3 readers of this blog a safe, happy, and prosperous New Year!

The year 2010 in review (Part The First):

2010-12-30T17:49:00.003-05:00

Well, folks, we once again find ourselves near the end of another year, so it is again time for my traditional (sort of) year in review.

Please remember that all things listed here are strictly my opinion. If you disagree with anything said here, well, then start your own blog! Let’s start with the obvious:

Best moment of the year: The entire week of my trip to Hawai’i. Seriously. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed any week more in my entire life. For more details, see my blog posts from Late February and early March of 2010.
Runner up: Seeing my dad celebrate his 80th birthday. This year officially begins his 9th decade walking the earth.

Worst moment of the year: Returning from the Hawai’i trip to find my car buried under 6 inches of snow. Believe me when I say it was a sobering return to reality.
Runner up: Watching six people in my office lose their jobs to budget cuts 2 weeks before Christmas. I’m just glad I wasn’t one of them.

Most anticipated event of the New Year: My next tropical vacation! More details perhaps later.
Least anticipated event of the New Year: Coming BACK from my next vacation!

Most Significant news event of the year: The BP oil spill. Not only the spill, but also the clumsy and crass way they handled it. I now drive past BP stations when I need gas. I will for a long time.
Runner-up: The Mid-term elections. Once again, the American public at large proved that it is collectively as dumb as a bag of hammers. After only two years, the voters decided to return to power the same dumb asses who got us into this mess in the first place. Sheesh! If I could afford it, I would move to Canada.

Best Sports moment of the year (11/27/2010): OSU 37, Michigan 7. After 7 years this is getting to be routine...
Runner up (1/1/2010): OSU 26, Oregon 17. ‘Nuff said.

Worst sports moment of the year: Two words: Wisconsin. Game.
Runner up: Seeing the Toledo Walleye get crushed 6-0 in their home opener on the same night as the above game.

My Oscar predictions (without actually knowing who and what will be nominated yet):
Best Picture: The Social Network. A dark horse, I know, but Hollywood seems to like the underdogs lately.
Best Director: The Coen Brothers for True Grit. Fighting the legacy of John Wayne’s only Oscar-winning film could NOT have been easy.
Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, for True Grit, dammit! See above for the reason why.

That’s as far out on the limb as I’m going to go without knowing the nominees yet.

Best Movie of the Year: Tron: Legacy. Given the depth of my hardcore geek love for the original—which was cutting edge back then but today looks like a bunch of stick figure drawings compared to the new movie—it would have been impossible not to like this new one. It was well worth waiting almost 30 years for the sequel.
Runner up: True Grit. I’m well aware that I not only saw two movies within a week of each other, but that they both starred Jeff Bridges, and that they also could not have been more different from each other if they tried to be. Bridges would have a lock on his second Best Actor award in as many years if those idiotic Academy voters didn’t have such a fetish for English Actors (Damn you, Colin Firth!). Seriously. Just because you speak with a British accent does NOT make you a good actor (Jason Statham, I’m looking in your direction here!)

Part 2 tomorrow.

The End of Kodakchrome

2010-12-28T22:12:00.003-05:00

December 30th will see the closing of Dwayne's Photolab in Kansas. This will be the sad end of an era.

You see, Dwayne's is the last remaining photo lab that still processes and develops Kodakchrome 35mm film.

I happened to learn about this thanks to a story on CBS's Sunday Morning TV show. It showed the lament of a professional photographer about what he would be losing with the disappearance of Kodakchrome.

You see, Kodakchrome was manufactured by only one company (Kodak, obviously). They alone manufactured the film, along with the chemicals necessary to process and develop it. They have announced that as of December 30th of this year, they won't manufacture the film or the chemicals needed to process it any more. It's simply not economically feasible for them to do so in this age of digital photography.

Kodakchrome was a VERY high quality film. It is responsible for many of the most well-known photographs that still exist today, including the world-famous Afghan Girl portrait that appeared on the cover of National Geographic and that is recognizable to nearly everyone in the modern world once they see it (It was also used to duplicate the same photograph by the same photographer nearly 20 years after he took the original picture).

In today's age of digital photography, actual film has largely gone the way of the steam engine and the horse and buggy. Today, when nearly every cellphone possesses a built-in digital camera, and when modern digital cameras can capture images that appear to the naked eye to be every bit as sharp as film pictures, it is no longer economically feasible to mass produce chemical film. Digital pictures cannot yet capture the detail that film can. Usually, however, this does not matter, since the untrained eye cannot tell the difference.

Nor are companies like Kodak in any danger of failing, since they have embraced the digital age. I myself own a Kodak digital camera.

But an important era has come to an end with the end of Kodakchrome. I hope that the many pictures preserved in the various photo albums in my parents' house are durable, because they will never be able to be accurately duplicated. And that is a shame.

It'll Never Happen Ag...WHOA!

2010-12-26T07:36:00.005-05:00

A few months ago, I posted this entry about a fluke happening wherein I flipped an envelope at an open paper box and it landed balanced on the edge.

Well, a few days ago, something similar and just as amazing happened:

Yes folks, that is a piece of paper balanced on the edge of the same box. It's held in place solely by the friction of that one corner against the inside edge of the box. Nothing more than a light puff of air would have been sufficient to knock it one way or another. But right then, it remained where it was for several minutes.

I swear I'm not making this up! I challenge you to try and get a piece of regular 8 1/2 X 11 paper to balance on the edge of a box that way. I'm starting to think I should video myself every time I flip a piece of paper or an envelope at my recycling box...

You Go Girls!

2010-12-22T20:38:00.004-05:00

Ha, you Huskies! Mush!

Last night, the UCONN women's basketball team won its 89th game in a row.

They've long since passed any other women's team in that category. But what made it significant was that they now hold the record for the most consecutive wins by any college team in any sport, by either sex. They beat out the UCLA Bruins of the late 60's and early 70's, who were coached by the "legendary" John Wooden.

The Huskies are coached by Geno Auriemma, who, in my opinion, now deserves his own "legendary" status.

In a way, the success of this team feeds on itself. The dominance they have shown in the last few years allows them to pick and choose the best players.

Some will claim that it's much easier to coach a women's team than a men's, if for no other reason than the lure of the pros does not call to the great women basketball players the same way it calls to the men. And while this may be true, it is also true that this simply means that there is a larger pool of athletes available for the teams to draw from. In other words, a much more level playing field.

From now on, every game the Huskies win until their next loss is simply setting a new record. And I say, keep up the good work.

And if it keeps bringing attention to the importance of women's sports, I say, more power to them.

My "Where Were You When" Story

2010-12-17T22:55:00.002-05:00

Tonight CBS played a repeat of the Blue Bloods episode "what you See". The episode shows the fictional NYPD of the show hunting a potential Car bomber. After the situation is defused, the police commissioner, played by Tom Selleck, wonders aloud to himself "Where were you on September 11th?"

I can't imagine anyone who was aware enough to remember what happened that day ever forgetting where they were, or what they were doing. I've never talked to anyone I work with who doesn't have their own story about that day.

This is mine.

I work in the payroll department of my office at the time. It was pay week. Our department was working hard to get payroll completed.

Around 9 a.m., rumors began to filter. A plane had hit the World Trade Center.

A private plane, I thought. Trivial, I thought. An accident.

A T.V. was located. We tuned it in. We saw the Towers smoking. Heavily.

No big deal, I thought. They'll get those fires out in no time.

We continued to watch. We watched as the fires continued to burn. We watched as the towers collapsed.

We were stunned.

Most of us returned to our desks in a state of collective shock. I sat back down at my desk and started entering payroll data automatically. I couldn't think of anything else to do. The rest of us felt pretty much the same way.

An hour or so later, the boss called. He'd been attending a conference out of town. He told us to close the office and go home.

But payroll had to go out. So my supervisor and I volunteered to stay. As the only two single people in our department, it made sense. We worked furiously, entered the necessary data (with several nervous glances out the window of our building--who knew if we were the next target?), and then got the hell out of there.

I spent the rest of the day at home, watching the news coverage of the incident. Around dusk, I walked outside to watch the evening sky. I've never heard the city be so quiet. I also saw many of my neighbors outside, watching the skies. I saw many American flags hanging from their houses, more than I'd ever seen on any National Holiday.

We heard a jet engine overhead. We all looked up and saw an Air National Guard F-16 streak across the sky. We all felt a little better seeing it.

When it grew dark, we went back inside.

Everyone's life changed that day. Everyone had a new "Where Were You When" story.

I fully realize that it's morbid to bring that up at this time of year. But I wanted to make sure everyone remembers what happened then. And why we should all be extra grateful for the things we still have.

Happy Holidays

2010-12-14T00:07:00.002-05:00

You're fired.

That's the message sent to six of my co-workers last Friday.

I have to believe that there is a special ring of hell reserved for a boss who fires people during the Christmas/Holiday season.

Seriously. What prompts someone to do that?

To those few folks who have the tenacity to weave their way through the past 7+ years of this blog, and who work at my office and are in upper management, and who are displeased by what has been said above, and who may actually read this entry, then let me say this: Try to fire me and you will be sued so fast you won't know what hit you. And trust me when I say that I know where all the bodies are buried. Work in the same office for nearly 15 years and it happens.

TSA: Bringing New Meaning to "The Friendly Skies"

2010-11-26T15:35:00.002-05:00

TSA: Feeling more booty than R. Kelly
TSA: We're making air travel a "touching" experience.
TSA: All your secrets are safe with ALL of us
TSA: Big Bertha is watching (and getting ready to do more!)
TSA: Bend Over and touch your toes...
TSA: Increasing Cancer rates Exponentially since 2010
TSA: We've seen it, and we know you're lying about your length.

In case you were wondering, those a few suggestions I have for the new motto for the TSA. Some came from other sources, some I came up with myself. What do you think?

People seem to fall into two camps: Those that think the new TSA security procedures are a great idea, and those that think we are now many steps closer to 1984 and Big Brother.

I definitely fall into the second camp.

I agree that we have to do what we can to keep bombs off of airplanes, but I think the resources of the government should be more devoted to finding and stopping people like the so-called "underwear bomber" before they even get near an airport, and to removing the root causes of terrorism in the first place. Mostly this means ending our dependence on foreign oil, much of which comes from the Middle East, and the money we pour into that volatile region only serves to place more money in the hands of the people who fund people like the underwear bomber.

It also means putting an end to the ham-handed way in which American foreign policy trends in that region, our typical ready-fire-aim approach that we as a country are so famous for lately in our never-ending thirst for oil.

By the way, of the people I have talked to, by an overwhelming majority the ones that have no problem with the new security procedures are the ones who do NOT have pending air travel plans. That's the difference between them and me--I DO plan to fly in the next couple of months. And now the hassle that has become the airport security line has gotten that much bigger.

Oh, and in case you were planning to wear one of the shirts linked to above to an airport security checkpoint any time soon, take my advice: Don't! It's just common sense.

The Madness of King Friday

2010-11-23T22:49:00.002-05:00

This Friday after Thanksgiving, millions of Americans will rush to stores to take advantage of the retailers' advertising tricks that convince them that they are getting great deals on items already marked up more than 200% above their usual prices.

Most will crowd around store entrances at 3, 4, or 5 a.m. to take advantage of "special sales" that are only available "until noon". Many will be there much earlier.

You may or may not recall the so-called "Black Friday" incident that happened a couple of years ago, where people were trampled after storming the partially opened gates of an early opening store.

You may also wonder what kind of psychosis grips people that convinces them that bargains can only be obtained on one single shopping day that occurs the day after Thanksgiving. When the retail season lasts easily more than a month after that. With multitudes of discounts to follow.

It's also shocking that this massive amount of holiday spending is expected after millions of unemployed people will lose their benefits thanks to the Repuglicans. And they will spend money they don't have to spend.

I weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

12 Angry Men

2010-11-20T22:41:00.005-05:00

Last post, I opined on the latest retelling of Clash of the Titans.

Today, at the library (where I find the majority of my DVD's), I found 12 Angry Men. The original version, starring Henry Fonda.

Also starring E.G. Marshall, Ed Begley (Senior), a VERY young Jack Klugman (you may remember him as Qunicy M.E., the original CSI), and other actors that no one remembers.

This movie was shot 99% in a single room, on a budget of $350,000 1957 dollars (I'll let you try to find out how much that is today). There are also no female actors credited in this movie, although in the opening credits you can hear and see a crying woman who is uncredited.

This movie was also based on a play originally written for television. It's been performed as a play all over this country. I'm not ashamed to admit that I performed a bit part in a local amateur production of it (as the Jury Room guard, who has maybe 4 lines in the play. I got this part because I was able to obtain a local Sheriff's uniform at no cost).

But I digress. My point is that this movie, which was nominated for at least 3 Academy Awards, was shot on a shoestring budget, with only one "big name" actor, with almost no special effects (a thunderstorm occurs about halfway through the movie), managed to be a major box office hit, one that is still watched today. The President's first nominee to the Supreme Court cited this movie as the inspiration for her entry into the legal system.

Ask yourselves if the same thing will still be said 50 years after the latest release of Clash of the Titans.

I seriously doubt it.

Clash of the Titans

2010-11-17T21:36:00.002-05:00

I recently stumbled across the latest retelling of this old legend of the life of Perseus, the supposed son of Zeus who became the founder of what would become Persia. You may remember it as this year's 3-D blockbuster Clash of the Titans.

The latest rash of movies celebrating the Greek Gods has gotten me to wondering: Why are these folks so heavily worshiped?

Seriously. The Greeks were eventually destroyed by the Romans. When you think about the planets, think of their names: The largest planet is named Jupiter, not Zeus. Venus, not Aphrodite. Mercury, not Hermes. Mars, not Ares. The only Greek named to survive are Uranus and Neptune, named only after telescopes finally became powerful enough to identify them as planets instead of stars, when "modern" history was finally beginning to sort out ancient history to distinguish enough the contributions made by both the Roman and Greek civilizations.

It still persists today, though. Remember the Saturn line of automobiles?

People love to romanticize ancient legends. Even this country's own brief history has produced its own share of legendary characters--think Paul Bunyan, John Henry, etc.

We may never know the real story of what happened to these ancient--or not so ancient--legends. But their stories will continue to entertain generations to come.

If they fudge the fact a bit, so be it. Most of the time, it's still a good story.

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms

2010-11-16T22:38:00.002-05:00

Also known as the BATF.

A while ago, a former co-worker of mine asked why it is necessary for this government agency to exist.

He (yes, typically, it was a he. And, naturally, he was a Repuglican) wondered why the need for a government agency existed to control 3 things that were all legal.

I've given it some thought since then.

It didn't take too long.

You see, Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, three things that are completely legal, have annually accounted, directly or indirectly, for a total of nearly half a million American deaths every year. And they have done that by being used EXACTLY the way they were intended to be used.

It only makes sense that these three things should be under strict government control. And that there should be an agency that regulates that control. And of many more "legal" things. But in today's anti-government society, it will probably never happen.

This past election, the tsunami of Republicans that were swept into office were mostly elected by promising less government intrusion into the affairs of citizens. At a time when government, under the increasing influence of corporations, is ignoring the rights of citizens in favor of the rights of corporations, and when we can expect the newly elected Republican Congress to vote lock, stock, and barrel with what the corporations elected them to do, we can ill afford less government regulation.

Regulation by the government is the only way ordinary citizens can survive against the tyranny of big business. The sooner we all realize that, the safer we will all be.

If you ask me, there are a LOT of other legal things, substances, or actions that regularly kill hundreds of thousands of people that need their own controlling agencies and that will forever lack them.

Hollyweird Does it Again--The Results (Sort of)

2010-11-12T20:54:00.005-05:00

A couple of posts ago, I blogged on the Hollyweird movie treatment of the "Crazy Eights" runaway train that opened today--Unstoppable.

I lamented how overblown it looked to me. Seriously. They've taken a mediocre news story and made it into a major Hollyweird event.

Our local paper--not to put too fine a point on it--lambasted the movie.

But are they really being fair? Am I?

I couldn't help noticing the references to the real-life incident that inspired the movie in the review. And, running on the same day and in the same section of the paper, is this story. Written by separate people of course, but either they were both at the same critics' screening or the reporter consulted the reviewer. Either way, there is no way that the critic's opinion could not have been biased by knowing what happened in the real event that "inspired" the movie. And is there not a possibility that the review was colored by that opinion?

By the way, in case you were wondering, the picture in that second story does not show a train rolling down a paved road. Rail crossings in rural areas often cross roads at odd angles, and are often VERY poorly marked--but that is a subject for another time.

And I have to admit that my own enjoyment of the movie would be diminished by knowing how un-exciting the "true events" were.

So I really want to know if I'm being fair.

So I put it to you, the three people who read this blog. If anyone who stumbles across this blog entry sees or has seen this movie, I invite you to post what you thought of it in the comments.

I realize there is little chance of that happening, but a man can dream.

Meanwhile, I may wait for the movie to come out on video...

Update (7/11/11) The Toledo Blade updated their website some time after I posted this entry. Links no longer are valid. Sorry.

I'm VERY Disappointed

2010-11-06T20:32:00.002-04:00

Why, you may ask.

Well, I am on the e-mail mailing lists of numerous Progressive organizations, including MoveOn.org, Credo, and Presente.

(In case you're wondering about why me, a person as white as Tom Sawyer's fence is on the mailing list of a latino advocacy group, rest assured I've been asking myself that same question for quite a while now.)

And not once have I received an e-mail from any of these "liberal" organizations requesting me to sign a petition in support of suspended MSNBC news commentator Keith Olbermann.

Understand that these are organizations that start petition drives when someone sneezes near a Democratic Congressman, petitions that demand Distributing Vitamin C to everyone in the progressive Caucus.

But now, when one of the most vocal opponents of the continuous wright wing noise machine is suspended for daring to show support for candidates that he happens to like, these organizations are strangely silent.

Now is NOT the time to be silent! After the Republicans received their well-deserved electoral beatings in '06 and '08, they got back on track by being as loud and raucous as they possibly could. They did not cower in the corner. They fought back hard and heavy.

It's time for us to return the favor. And do it LOUDLY!

F$#@ing Up YouTube

2010-11-06T00:35:00.002-04:00

It can't possibly have escaped the notice of the 3 readers of this blog that I include a LOT of Youtube videos on this blog, despite my well-stated hatred of Google, which owns Youtube.

The only explanation for this is that there is simply no other alternative.

Youtube has managed to capture the type of Web monopoly that no one else can claim credit for: if you want to find a popular video, go to Youtube. And while you're there, they will analyze your choices and try to figure out what type of person you are.

So I try to screw up their profiling machines as much as possible.

I search for Steve Earle's "Copperhead Road"

Then I search for Carrie Underwood's "Jesus take the Wheel"

Then I search for Half-Life 2

Then I search for Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take it"

Then I search for a Star Trek episode I like.

Then I search for something that is totally random.

By this point, with any luck, the Youtube profile computers are so f#$^ed up trying to figure out who I am that they are frying themselves. I figure at this point that they must think I am a fundamentalist Christian, moonshine-smuggling, pot-growing, Hair-Metal-band-loving, NRA member. Don't think about that combination too long or your brain will break!

Dear Google: Please feel free to bite me.

Hollyweird Does it Again

2010-11-04T22:37:00.004-04:00

Yes, folks, once again the folks at Hollyweird have conspired to take a somewhat boring true story and inflate it into a massive major movie event.

You see, about nine years ago, a freight train towed by an EMD SD40-2 Diesel engine, the very same engine that is featured as the "hero" in the upcoming movie Unstoppable, departed a train yard near my home city of Toledo towing a long freight train with no one at the controls, for reasons which I won't get into here.

The train rumbled nearly 70 miles south down the train tracks of Northwest Ohio, crossing dozens of RR crossings without blowing its horn. This track was mostly straight and level (check any terrain map of the Midwest and you'll find that that isn't unusual). Since this engine type has a maximum speed of about 60 MPH at the most, there was little danger of it becoming a runaway missile that would plow into a Pennsylvania city, spreading a toxic cloud that would kill thousands.

A crew of ordinary engineers latched another engine onto the back of this runaway and managed to slow it down enough that another engineer was able to grab a handrail of the runaway engine and board it, then apply the brakes and stop the train. No major Metropolitan areas, trainloads of children, or anyone else was endangered.

Only until Hollyweird got ahold of the story.

I'll probably go to see the film anyway. Tony Scott does not direct films that do not entertain. But my entertainment will be diminished because I know the true story about what happened. Because what really happened started about 2 miles from my house.

The only person who looked like a fool in this whole endeavor was the State Trooper who tried to shoot a hole in the engine's fuel tank with an anti-personnel shotgun. He might as well have tried to stop a charging Rhino with a slingshot.

I am in Awe

2010-10-31T18:52:00.005-04:00

Of the phenomenon that is Jon Stewart.

Yesterday, I watched in amazement the three hour "Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear" that Stewart and company were able to organize in just a couple of months. I watched as several well-known entertainment personalities lent their time and talent to this massive, incredible undertaking. I gazed in wonder as the camera panned over a National mall filled shoulder to shoulder with people, from the monument to the Capitol building. (Seriously. There were easily a hundred thousand people there.) I watched the wonderfully funny banter between Stewart and his "conservative" counterpart Stephen Colbert. And I cringed as I heard Stewart try to sing.

(Piece of advice, Jon: Don't quit your night job!)

And then I watched in awe as Stewart gave a funny, insightful, intelligent, touching, and at times awe-inspiring speech to the assembled masses that touched me deeply. Rather than spoil it by trying to remember what he said, here is a transcript:

And now I thought we might have a moment, however brief, for some sincerity. If that's okay - I know that there are boundaries for a comedian / pundit / talker guy, and I'm sure that I'll find out tomorrow how I have violated them.

So, uh, what exactly was this? I can't control what people think this was: I can only tell you my intentions.

This was not a rally to ridicule people of faith, or people of activism, or look down our noses at the heartland, or passionate argument, or to suggest that times are not difficult and that we have nothing to fear--they are, and we do.

But we live now in hard times, not end times. And we can have animus, and not be enemies. But unfortunately, one of our main tools in delineating the two broke.

The country's 24-hour, political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems, but its existence makes solving them that much harder. The press can hold its magnifying glass up to our problems, bringing them into focus, illuminating issues heretofore unseen. Or they can use that magnifying glass to light ants on fire, and then perhaps host a week of shows on the dangerous, unexpected flaming ants epidemic. If we amplify everything, we hear nothing.

There are terrorists, and racists, and Stalinists, and theocrats, but those are titles that must be earned! You must have the resume! Not being able to distinguish between real racists and Tea Party-ers, or real bigots and Juan Williams or Rick Sanchez is an insult--not only to those people, but to the racists themselves, who have put in the exhausting effort it takes to hate. Just as the inability to distinguish terrorists from Muslims makes us less safe, not more.

The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we actually get sicker--and, perhaps, eczema. And yet... I feel good. Strangely, calmly, good. Because the image of Americans that is reflected back to us by our political and media process is false. It is us, through a funhouse mirror--and not the good kind that makes you look slim in the waist, and maybe taller, but the kind where you have a giant forehead, and an ass shaped like a month-old pumpkin, and one eyeball.

So why would we work together? Why would you reach across the aisle, to a pumpkin-assed forehead eyeball monster? If the picture of us were true, of course our inability to solve problems would actually be quite sane and reasonable--why would you work with Marxists actively subverting our Constitution, and homophobes who see no one's humanity but their own?

We hear every damned day about how fragile our country is, on the brink of catastrophe, torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done. The truth is, we do! We work together to get things done every damned day! The only place we don't is here (in Washington) or on cable TV!

But Americans don't live here, or on cable TV. Where we live, our values and principles form the foundation that sustains us while we get things done--not the barriers that prevent us from getting things done.

Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats, Republicans, liberals or conservatives. Americans live their lives more as people that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often something they do not want to do! But they do it. Impossible things, every day, that are only made possible through the little, reasonable compromises we all make.

(Points to video screen, showing video of cars in traffic.) Look on the screen. This is where we are, this is who we are. These cars. That's a schoolteacher who probably think his taxes are too high, he's going to work. There's another car, a woman with two small kids, can't really think about anything else right now... A lady's in the NRA, loves Oprah. There's another car, an investment banker, gay, also likes Oprah. Another car's a Latino carpenter; another car, a fundamentalist vacuum salesman. Atheist obstetrician. Mormon Jay-Z fan.

But this is us. Every one of the cars that you see is filled with individuals of strong belief, and principles they hold dear--often principles and beliefs in direct opposition to their fellow travelers'. And yet, these millions of cars must somehow find a way to squeeze, one by one, into a mile-long, 30-foot-wide tunnel, carved underneath a mighty river.

And they do it, concession by concession: you go, then I'll go. You go, then I'll go. You go, then I'll go. 'Oh my God--is that an NRA sticker on your car?' 'Is that an Obama sticker on your car?' It's okay--you go, then I go.

And sure, at some point, there will be a selfish jerk who zips up the shoulder, and cuts in at the last minute. But that individual is rare, and he is scorned, and he is not hired as an analyst!

Because we know, instinctively, as a people, that if we are to get through the darkness and back into the light, we have to work together. And the truth is there will always be darkness, and sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel isn't the promised land.

Sometimes, it's just New Jersey. But we do it anyway. Together.

If you wanna know why I'm here and what I want from you, I can only assure you this: You have already given it to me. Your presence was what I wanted. Sanity will always be and has always been in the eye of the beholder. And to see you here today, and the kind of people that you are, has restored mine. Thank you.

And here's a video of it. Take 12 minutes out of your life and watch. You won't be disappointed:

It may not be quite the equal of MLK's "I Have a Dream", but it's right up there.

I pray that Stewart confines his activities to his TV show, and is not tempted by the lure of politics. He could never do the what he does best as a politician.

And to those "news" organizations that forbade their reporters or correspondents from attending the rally (for fear they might be called "liberal"), may I say, "PHBLLLLTTT!"

That goes double for you, NPR! You should be ashamed of yourselves.

These People Will Be Voting

2010-10-30T21:58:00.005-04:00

And if they get the candidates they want, then God help this country.

I weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

I beg you, the three readers of this blog, to please, please, PLEASE vote for ANYONE but the TEA party candidates. We cannot afford to have these people leading this country.

Echoing the Voices of Others

2010-10-30T11:33:00.002-04:00

Taken word for word from The Daily Kos
(Just trying to make sure enough people hear this!)

Questions:

1. What was the average monthly private sector job growth in 2008, the final year of the Bush presidency, and what has it been so far in 2010?

2. What was the Federal deficit for the last fiscal year of the Bush presidency, and what was it for the first full fiscal year of the Obama presidency?

3. What was the stock market at on the last day of the Bush presidency? What is it at today?

4. Which party's candidate for speaker will campaign this weekend with a Nazi reenactor who dressed up in a SS uniform?

Answers:

1. In 2008, we lost an average of 317,250 private sector jobs per month. In 2010, we have gained an average of 95,888 private sector jobs per month. (Source) That's a difference of nearly five million jobs between Bush's last year in office and President Obama's second year.

2. In FY2009, which began on September 1, 2008 and represents the Bush Administration's final budget, the budget deficit was $1.416 trillion. In FY2010, the first budget of the Obama Administration, the budget deficit was $1.291 trillion, a decline of $125 billion. (Source) Yes, that means President Obama has cut the deficit -- there's a long way to go, but we're in better shape now than we were under Bush and the GOP.

3. On Bush's final day in office, the Dow, NASDAQ, and S&P 500 closed at 7,949, 1,440, and 805, respectively. Today, as of 10:15AM Pacific, they are at 11,108, 2,512, and 1,183. That means since President Obama took office, the Dow, NASDAQ, and S&P 500 have increased 40%, 74%, and 47%, respectively.

4. The Republican Party, whose candidate for speaker, John Boehner, will campaign with Nazi re-enactor Rich Iott this weekend. If you need an explanation why this is offensive, you are a lost cause.

The moral of the story is this: if you vote Republican, I hope you enjoy Election Day -- because you're not going to like what comes next.

Apologize?!

2010-10-24T01:19:00.003-04:00

It has come to the attention of the country that the wife of Justice Clarence Thomas has been reported as having sent a voicemail to Anita Hill asking her to apologize for her testimony during his Senate confirmation hearings.

I hardly know where to begin.

In terms of intelligent ideas, I'd like to list a few that ranked higher than that:

"Let's return to our base of occupation by marching in a straight column down a clearly marked road, with plenty of cover for firing positions down either side of that road, after every rebel in the country we occupy has been informed of where we will be marching!"

"Let's charge straight into the teeth of a massed army of artillery, rifles, and small arms after we've been here for 3 days and have alerted our enemies to exactly where we will be attacking next."

"Let's fill a giant cylindrical shaped balloon with an extremely explosive gas, cover the outside of that balloon with the same material that future generations will know is an ideal component for solid rocket boosters, and then fly that balloon into a region that is know for experiencing electrical storms."

By the way, if any of the 3 readers of this blog have missed the historical references I cited above, then you are not nearly as clever as I have given you credit for. You are invited to explain otherwise in the comments.