Monday, March 30, 2009


Tomorrow (3/31/09) a series called "Cupid" will premiere on ABC.

The premise of the show is that an institutionalized mental patient claiming to be the fallen Greek God Cupid must match 100 Earthbound couples using only the abilities he possesses as a human being. This he must do in order to return to the Pantheon of Mt. Olympus.

My problem with that is that its been done.

This show was a series 11 years ago.

It was a first run show then. It's a replacement show now.

Don't believe me? Check this out.

I liked this show. When it was on TV 11 years ago. Mostly because I was and still am a great fan of Jeremy Piven, who played the title character, and who is, in my opinion, one of the most unappreciated actors in Hollywood.

The problem was that this show died. A horrible death. As have many shows before and after.

And now it's being resurrected. With not a shred of new premise.

It is official. Hollywood has run out of ideas.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

There is no Limit...

To how low AIG will stoop.

AIG, currently the most hated brand name in America today, has committed itself to going the distance in the hated marathon.

Apparently, AIG has REMOVED THEIR LOGO AND NAME from their main headquarters building.

Seriously. What. Were. They. Thinking?

This isn't like Philip Morris changing its name to Altria to try to make people forget their primary business is making cigarettes. This isn't like Kentucky Fried Chicken changing its name to KFC to de-emphasize the word "Fried". No. This is the most hated company in America trying to enter its own version of the witness protection program.

Let's all try to shine the light on this. They can run, but they can't hide!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Blogging the press conference (2), pt 2

More translation of what Obama is really saying:

8:38 PM: "Hey, lets try WORKING with our allies for a change, instead of DICTATING to them! Another refreshing concept!"

8:43 PM: "Let's try giving the ordinary people the same tax breaks as the rich people, just to shake things up a bit. How about that?"

8:47 PM: "Yeah, please, ask me a race question. Never mind that our economy is in the shitter, and I've spent every waking moment of my presidency so far trying to fix it. Seriously, are you people nuts?"

8:48 PM: "Leave it to a Neocon paper (The Washington Times) to ask a pandering question (Stem cells). But in answer to your question: This research has the potential to make people well. Why are you f&%kheads opposed to it?!"

8:52 PM: "Why is it always the foreign correspondents who are the only ones who ask about issues outside of North America? Have you people forgotten about the rest of the world?"

OK folks, I'm out.

Blogging the press conference (2), pt 1

My translations of what he is telling the press tonight.

8:20 PM: "OK, repeat after me: I DID NOT cause the current fiscal crisis, and I inherited these problems from the previous administration. I am trying to fix it! Get the hell off my back!"

8:22 PM: "Health care costs a LOT! We need to fix that!"

8:25 PM: "I can't wave a wand and magically fix everything overnight! Give me a break! And maybe a little time."

8:27 PM: "I'm having enough trouble fixing the problems in THIS country! Now you want me to fix Mexico's problems too?!"

8:35 PM: "You don't like government spending?" So what is the alternative? Doing nothing? We tried that for 8 years. Look where it's gotten us."

8:37 PM: "I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak. Isn't that a refreshing concept?"

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I have seen Watchmen

I have read Watchmen

I am impressed.

It cannot be easy to faithfully adapt what may be the most popular graphic novel of all time to the movie screen.

The original was a 12 chapter, 400+ page graphic novel, with complicated text inter-chapter expositional sidestories. The movie did a fairly good job of relating these sidestories with the opening title screens, set all to the tune of Bob Dylan's "The Times, they are a'changin'".

The rest of the movie was very faithful to the novel, with the few exceptions coming in places where it was necessary to make sure the movie wouldn' be rated NC-17 (NC-17 = Death at the box office in America--don't even get me started).

But then they fucked it up at the end.

I have to believe that the the movie might have been better received if it had been faithful to the original all the way through to the end credits. Fans of the novel would have been more positive, and the viewing public in general may have been willing to forgive the movie's foibles.

Instead, the film has met with mixed reviews and average box office scores.

My opinion is generally, "meh".

Yes, they were faithful to the original, and that was a good thing. The original novel was enormously exciting, to the point where I couldn't put it down. And I was breathless during most of the movie, right up until the end.

So how the hell did they fuck up the ending so badly?

Why am I asking?! Hollywood can fuck up anything.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Adventures with Air Travel and Big Brother.

I recently came into possession of a book by Steve Alten entitled "The Shell Game". It's a book that details, in no particular order, the impending oil crisis, Neocon plots to steal elections, faked terror strikes on American soil, global warming, and the excesses of the government under the USA PATRIOT act.

It is, of course, a work of fiction. But it's also just about the user's manual for every questionable crazy cook conspiracy theorist out there.

As I continued to read, I became thoroughly convinced that Mr. Alten was six kinds of crazy in hearts and spades.

However, recently I've re-thought my feelings.

Because I have traveled on a domestic flight.

Let me detail what happens with modern air travel:

First, you must check in. The size varies by airline, but generally if you are carrying any bags larger than 24 X 14 X 10, you must check them. Again, depending on the airline, you may pay up to $25 extra for checking the bag.

Second, you must then endure the security checkpoint. Please remove your shoes. Empty your pockets. Your carry-on baggage is subject to search, including childrens' backpacks and womens' purses. You have no choice in this matter. Turn on your laptop. Open your wallet. Do not object or resist. We know where you live. We know where your family lives.

Third, if you manage to make it past security (no liquids, sharp objects, medals of honor allowed) you may board the plane. Please not that this is far easier said than done. You see, most domestic carriers opt for the smaller, more fuel-efficient (if such a thing can be said about a commercial jetliner) planes to carry passengers, and they book their flights as full as possible.

They have also made the seats smaller. MUCH smaller. Legroom? Ha! I checked. There was not enough room to fit the aforementioned hardcover Steve Alten novel between the front of my seat and the back of the seat in front of me.

They have also stopped serving free non-alcoholic drinks. My father paid $3.00 for a 12 ounce can of cranberry juice. I didn't even ask how much alcohol cost, or if it was even available.

Then, we, the very definition of a captive audience, were subjected to a commercial announcement for the Airline's credit card.

Please notice that I have not mentioned the specific Airline in question. I don't want to be sued, or renditioned.

It would seem that everyone EXCEPT the air travel industry has realized that nothing like September 11th will ever happen again. After all, the cockpit doors are now sealed at all times. The only way a plane will ever be flown into a skyscraper again is if the pilot or pilots are in on the plot from the beginning.

And if that is the case, no amount of security will stop it.

The only reason for the increased security any more is to keep us like the cowed sheep we seem to have become.

Big Brother is watching.