Friday, August 27, 2004


So. What to write about today.

Oh yeah. The new census report on the poverty figures came out. The gist of it is that there were more poor people last year than the year before. I say, "DUH!"

You can read the full story here:

Boiling it all down, it's basically bad news for King George the W.

So what is their response:

1) Release the report early. Traditionally, this report is released the first week of September.
2) Blame the messenger. Say that the census numbers are old (which they are) and that they don't reflect the current booming economy.

OK, let's look at this. To address the first point, just look at what's ahead. Releasing the numbers in September would put them right after the Republican convention. We couldn't have that!

To address the second point, King George the W is well on his way to being the first president since Hoover to finish his first term (and hopefully his last) with fewer net jobs than he started with. And the jobs that are being created pay, on average, about 25% less than the jobs they are replacing. In addition, more and more people are losing their health care coverage. And the people who are losing it are the one's who can least afford to!

Now, I don't believe in living on handouts. I never have (I did collect unemployment a few times, but I figure I earned that money. I firmly believe welfare should be a hand up, not a way of life.

On the other hand, I don't believe anyone should be forced to work more than one job just to support their family. Having a job means you are a productive (and taxpaying) member of society. You shouldn't be punished for it by being forced to choose between buying food and buying health insurance.

I thank GOD that I am no longer living from paycheck to paycheck like I did for so many years. But I know I am only one financial disaster away from abject poverty, as are a lot of other people. At least I have health insurance. A lot of those same other poeple don't.

Oh, well. That's the way our system works. The poor get poorer and the rich get richer.

You watch, though. I'd almost bet money that we'll have another terror alert in a day or two!

Thursday, August 26, 2004


So. What to write about today.

Oh, yeah. The U.S. basketball team finally pulled its head out of its ass and beat Team Spain, which was previously undefeated.

Now, Team USA is coached by Larry Brown, the same guy who coached the Detroit Pistons in their whipping of the Lakers. He took a team of mostly unknowns and turned them into a team that stifled its opponents with awesome defense and great team play.

So why has Team USA been sucking dirty ass water?

Maybe it's because it's mostly made up of a bunch of 19 and 20 year old kids who went directly into the NBA and are subsequently a bunch of spoiled little babies who believe the world owes them everything because they're more than six feet tall and can throw a ball through a ring (sometimes).

I'm not impressed. If these kids want to impress me, they'd go back to college and finish their degrees. That would inspire a lot of their peers to do the same. THAT would do a lot more good than what they're doing now.

Personally, I think we need to go back to picking the best college athletes and sending them to the olympics. Sure, we wouldn't have as many medals, but we know these kids would be more interested in winning them and less interested in getting the shoe endorsement contracts.

I know I'd go back to watching them.

But that's just me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004


So. What to write about today.

Oh yeah. Dick Cheney finally acknowledged that he has a gay daughter.

He said, and I quote:
"Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it's an issue our family is very familiar with."

He also said:

"The question that comes up with the issue of marriage is what kind of official sanction or approval is going to be granted by government? Historically, that's been a relationship that has been handled by the states. The states have made that fundamental decision of what constitutes a marriage."

(Source for both quotes: AOL News)

Hmm. Meanwhile, King George the W keeps talking about amending the constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

As I've mentioned before, I don't give two shits about the whole issue. I'm not gay, but I do know a few gay people, and most of them are nice, normal people. Of course, some of them are freakishly weird, but the same can be said about some of the straight people that I know.

I figure live and let live. I don't object to anyone's religious, political, or lifestyle choices, as long as they don't try to force them on me! And if these poor saps want to get married, let 'em! Let them deal with the pain of divorce, and cheating, and ugly marital spats, and every other pain (and pleasure) that comes from married life. As I've mentioned before, I think the whole thing is a plot by divorce lawyers to target a fairly good-sized portion of the populace.

As far as Cheney goes, I think the whole thing is a shameless attempt to pander to the more moderate Republicans who are turned off by the violent homophobia of the extreme right. Knowing as much as I do about Cheney, I'm not prepared to give him any shred of benefit of the doubt.

For his daughter's sake, though, I hold the hope (probably in vain) that he's being sincere.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004


More on what I wrote yesterday.

These fucking swift boat ads are taking their toll. Apparently, Kerry's support from veterans has dropped dramatically.

To them I say: Wake up, you MORONS!!! This is a guy who was RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! He could've used his family money and influence to avoid service (like a certain president) but he VOLUNTEERED to serve in Vietnam!

Then, even though he could'vd sat out the war manning a radar console on a nice, cushy destroyer, he instead volunteered for one of the most dangerous duties in the navy. I'm pretty sure it takes balls of steel to climb in a boat that's about as heavily armored as a hot tub and drive it up a river while being exposed to fire from BOTH sides. And maybe he did volunteer for this dangerous duty to shorten his term of service, but at least he was THERE!

WHERE WAS GEORGE BUSH? He was drinking his way through the Air national guard, learning to fly an obsolete plane that would never see air combat. I can't imagine Bush actually taking hostile fire. He probably would've sat there pissing his pants and crying for his mommy!

Oh, and about the purple hearts: As I understand it, if you receive a wound from hostile fire, then it doesn't matter if it's a bruised arm or a lost leg, you still get the purple heart for it. It doesn't matter whether the shrapnel you were hit by was the size of a needle or a basketball. I admire him for still commanding his boat while wounded.

ANYWAY, though, Kerry has been forced to start spending his campaign money early, meaning he could run low at a crucial juncture! This could mean abandoning a key swing state! Like OHIO!



Monday, August 23, 2004


Karl Rove is an utter fucking political genius.

(warning: This is a long post)

President Bush denounced campaign commercials aired by outside groups on Monday, including an ad that accuses John Kerry of lying about his combat record in Vietnam. "That ad and every other ad" run by such groups (the so-called "527" groups) have no place in the campaign, Bush said when asked about the commercial sponsored by Swift Boat Veterans For Truth that has roiled the race for the White House.

(BTW, that paragraph above is from the AOL article on the subject. Credit where credit is due.)

So, in effect, Bush says "take those 527 ads off the air". If Swift boat veterans for truth (two lies for the price of one) then removes the ad, then they can put pressure on the 527 groups that are against Bush to remove theirs. If the SBVT keeps their ad on, Bush can say, "well, I tried, but I don't have any control over these folks."

It's Win-Win for Bush. Like I said, Karl Rove is a genius.

But let's analyze this. Let's start with the fact that the Republicans have no control over SBVT.

Lets do some numbers. For one thing, how many men actually SERVED on these boats in Vietnam? I'm going to be generous and say there were 5000 of them, total (I have no idea how many--I'm pulling figures out of my ass--just like Rush does).

Now, lets assume that two-thirds of these guys are anti-Kerry (again, I'm being generous). That leaves us with about 3300 soldiers.

But wait. Kerry only served on the boats a few months. So lets reduce the number of Vets who actually served in the same area as Kerry by two-thirds. That leaves us with about 1,000 guys who were actually on ANY swift boat at the time Kerry was there.

But let's say this group is composed of about 500 ACTUAL swift boat veterans. Let's further say that there it costs roughly $5,000 a spot to air these ads (on average). Lets assume the spot airs 200 times a day in all the various markets. Doing the math, that's ONE MILLION DOLLARS A DAY! The means each of the 500 veterans in this group would have to put up $2000 A DAY to fund these ads. I don't know what these guys earn in their jobs, but that's FOUR MONTH'S NET PAY for me!

Now, let's assume that for every Vet in this group, there are 10 non-vets. That's 5000 members. That means they still need to produce $200 a day to pay for the ads. That's about what I take home in three days.

Never mind the fact that this whole excercise is a moot point, because most of the funding for SBVT comes from a major Republican donor.

No control over this group? Who do they think they're kidding?!

Sunday, August 22, 2004


So. What to write about today?

Went to the Tigers game last night. My sister's law firm buys season box seats (GREAT seats!) and doles them out to the lawyers, clients, friends, etc. on a by-game basis. Since my dad won't be in town for his birthday, we decided we'd celebrate a couple of weeks early

(I can't believe my dad's going to be 74. Fuck, I'm old!)

Anyhoo, it was a perfect night for baseball. Not a cloud in the sky, cool but not TOO cool, light breeze blowing, huge, raucous crowd, and they actually WON!

Granted, it took 11 innings, there were about 30 hits total, the Detroit starting pitcher left with an "injury" (yeah, right!) after less than 1 1/2 innings and after giving up two runs on five hits, they were playing one of the worst teams in the league (Seattle), and they pretty much played their entire bullpen, but they still won! Of course, then they proceeded to lose today. Such is life.

My cousin Shawn and his family were there, with their new baby (I've posted his picture earlier--check the archives). And everyone had a great time. And, since we spent the night at the Detroit Athletic Club, I had about six 32 oz. beers.

My hangover STILL hasn't gone away!

All in all, though, a GREAT night!

Thursday, August 19, 2004


So. What to write about today.

This evening is the annual office picnic. It's basically everyone from the office bringing food and kids to a shelter house at one of the local parks, eating too much, drinking too much, glad-handing with the local politicians, and waiting for the prize drawing.

You see, everyone in the office chips in $20 for the prize pot, and the office manager goes to circuit city or Best Buy and buys lots of electronics, including several TV's and VCR's or DVD players. The winners are drawn at random from a pot. If you're not there, you don't get a prize if your name is drawn.

ANYWAY, this will be the eighth picnic I've attended since I've been working here. I've yet to win anything. I'm getting discouraged.

Let's see: 8 picnics at $20 apiece. That's $160. %$#@%$#!

I could've BOUGHT a TV or VCR for that much money.

But hey, there's free beer and food there. Too bad all the good-looking women that show up are married or involved.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004


So. What to write about today?

I think I'm turning into a girl.

Let me check.

(Brief pause)

Nope, male genitalia still in place.

I just finished watching this crapfest chickflick called Love Actually. It's THE chickiest chickflick of all the chickflicks I've seen. It's full of every chickflick movie cliche known to man. It's also got a cast of thousands.

It's also got Keira Knightley and Elisha Dushku in it--pretty much reduced to bit parts--what a crime! And if that weren't enough, you also get to see a bit of T & A.

Don't get me wrong. This was a crapfest of a movie, and the only reason I watched it is because I found it at the library. But God help me, I had a big shit-eating grin plastered on my face for most of it. I may even watch it again.

Excuse me, gotta check again.

(another brief pause)

Yup. Dick still there.

OK, I admit it. Sometimes I dig the shit out of a cheesy chick flick. Maybe if I ever DO get a girlfriend, I'll be ready when she pops one into the DVD player.

For now, though, I'll go back to the library and see if their copy of Notting Hill is available.

Oh God, someone shoot me now!

Friday, August 13, 2004



My garage is fixed. I no longer live in fear of my garage roof collapsing and crushing me and/or my car. I'm also out about $4400 bucks. Life sucks!

Now the only problem I have to deal with--well that's not true--I have a LOT of problems to deal with--is the MASSIVE SINKHOLE on the back of my property.

Let me explain. There's a sewer line that runs along the back of my property, and behind the property of everyone on my block. It was apparently built quite a while ago, and it's also apparently deteriorating to the point where it's causing problems. And by problems I mean BIG HOLES APPEARING IN PEOPLES' BACK YARDS!

So I've been trying for a month and a half to get the city to come out and take care of it. Every time I call, though, they act as if it's the first time they've heard about.

Our local news has something called "Call for Action" wherein if you have a problem that's being ignored by the person or persons who are responsible for fixing the problem, you call this news team, and they shine the harsh light of unfavorable publicity on the offending party or parties. The problem usually goes away quickly afterwards.

I'm giving the city another two weeks from today. I know no one's reading this blog, but if anyone ever does, take notice: on 8/27/04 I will either be reporting that the problem is being fixed or that I am calling the news.

Take notice

Thursday, August 12, 2004


So, what to write about today...

What to do about politics?

No, strike that. Enough about politics. Maybe next time

Let's talk about me.

You may recall I got in trouble at work a few weeks ago. I filed a grievance against management for writing me up. The grievance was denied, of course. It's now working it's way through the process.

So, anyway, Yesterday one of the senior mis-managers comes up to me yesterday and tells me not to come in tomorrow without a tie.

Let me explain. I hate ties. I always feel like I'm being strangled. So when I was moved to a job where I didn't deal with the public on a regular basis, I stopped wearing one. My department head let it slide. For more than three years. Said senior assmanager saw me many times without it. Nobody said ANYTHING about it.

Fine. So I file a grievance because I believe I was unfairly disciplined. Said senior Manageasswipe suddenly gets his glasses checked and discovers I don't have a tie.

So I wore one today. I'll wear the same tie again on Tuesday (no ties required on Mondays and Fridays). And Wednesday. And Thursday. And every day I have to wear one until the tie is little more than a string. Why should I waste my good ties on this fucking place?

If said senior asshole doesn't like hit, he can do what Dick Cheney told Pat Leahy to do.

See, I managed to sneak politics in after all!

I'm also going to get a Kerry/Edwards button and wear it prominently.

Let them tell me to take it off. I will insist on the order in writing. Then I will give that order to the local media. My boss is running for Congress. That'll go over big.

Then I'll start updating my resume.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


Ok, so I know I haven't posted for a week. Gimme a break, willya?

Anyway, where to start:

Alan Keyes OF MARYLAND has decided he will run against Barack Obama for the Illinois Senate seat that is open.

In 2000, he was asked to run for Senate in New York against Hilary. The exact quote of what he said in response is this:

"I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton's willingness to go into a state she doesn't even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn't imitate it." (italics mine)

Hmm. Seems like the message he's putting out there is "Do as I say, not as I do".

Not that he has a chance anyway. He's an outsider, who only has three months to campaign, and he's running against a favorite son of Chicago, and one who was the Keynote speaker at the Democratic convention.

I like Obama. I mean, sure, he seems to have come along at the perfect time, right when his opponents are self-destructing politically. But I've seen him talk. He is intelligent, articulate, charismatic, and reasonably good-looking (except for those ears--good God, man! Use glue if you have to!)

I'm sure he has more in his future than just a senate seat. Too bad his name sounds so much like a certain other person...

Maybe he can change it!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004


I keep getting more and more angry every time I hear an attack ad on Kerry.

Maybe it's because I read and know the TRUTH!

I listen to facts. When I hear or see something that smells like a lie, I check it out. I also try to read everything I can get my hands on.

People have tried to run for political office on a campaign of honesty. They usually fail. Maybe because nobody believes they're being honest.

You may or may not have read my journal where I announced my campaign for president. In it, I made some brutally honest statements.

Imagine if candidates said what they thought, instead of what they think people want to hear.

Said candidates would probably fall by the wayside quickly.

The sad fact is that nobody seems to want to hear truth in political campaigns any more.


Tuesday, August 03, 2004


Another terror alert. This one timed to correspond with the post-convention bounce that Kerry got from last week. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Yeah, right!

The scary part is, they've cried wolf so many times with these constant terror alerts (which appear to coincide with drops in Duhbya's approval rating) that when they actually issue a genuine alert, no one will pay any attention to it.

Just like we don't now...

Monday, August 02, 2004


So. I had my PAPS sleep study last night.

This machine is weird. They strap a mask to your nose, then turn it on. The machine then blows air into your nose and down your throat. If you open your mouth, air comes out. Add some vodka and a lighter and you got yourself a fire breathing machine.

OK, getting over how weird the machine feels, I was still wired up with 20 wires on my head and body. I was still sleeping on a rock-hard bed. I still got very little sleep.

To top it off, I think it made me sick! I've got such bad stomach cramps I had to skip work today.

All my problems, of course, could be solved with diet and excercise...

Screw that! Just gimme a pill!

Sunday, August 01, 2004


So, I go in for my follow-up sleep study tonight.

If you read my journal postings for July, you know what a fun experience this is. Only this time, they're going to add a PAPS machine.

For those of you playing the home game, PAPS stands for Positive Airway Pressure System. Apparently this thing is designed to force air down your windpipe and keep your airway open.

Sounds like a lotta fun...

More journal entries

>>>All the entries from July. I'm caught up now. Woo-hoo!


So it’s July. Woo-hoo.

2 days away from the holiday weekend, and forecasters are predicting rain Saturday and Sunday. Not just rain. SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS!

Have I mentioned how much I hate Midwest weather?

I’m too depressed to write more.


What’s going on? Who am I? Where the hell are we going?

Sorry, I guess I drank too much last night.

I’ve gotta stop drinking during the week.

I’ve recently read about the five levels of a hangover. I think I’m at level five right now.

I gotta stop. My head is spinning. You. Go. Play. Now.

Special Insert: The five levels of a hangover:

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice
clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cubical. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now....

7/3/04 & 7/4/04

I’m not writing this weekend. It’s the Fourth of July, and I’m taking a break. I’ve got some heavy drinking to do. See you on Monday.


So, I’m off today.

There aren’t many benefits to working for the government. Having eleven-and-a-half paid holidays per year is one of them.

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. In this country, we apparently celebrate it by getting drunk and setting off illegal fireworks. Come to think about it, we celebrate a lot of holidays that way.

There’s also something that happens called “A Capitol Fourth”. Broadcast on PBS, it’s a usually entertaining. It also usually rains.

It’s also usually hosted by Barry Bostwick. He’s quite a talented actor.

It also usually has many, many big stars performing for it. And they sing patriotic American tunes.

So who was the star performer of this concert? CLAY FUCKING AIKEN!!!

I’m sorry, but the current people who purport to be the big stars of the day, like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, are not musicians. They are glorified Karaoke singers. Hell, I can dance around and lip sync to other people’s songs too. I don’t make millions doing it.

Here’s a little tip: If it’s an American Fourth of July concert, try playing some PATRIOTIC SONGS! I don’t want to hear Clay “queer-as-a-three-dollar-bill-and-I-don’t-care-what-you-say-to-the-contrary” Aiken sing his latest song. I want to hear the marches of John Philip Sousa.

Maybe I’m just bitter.


Yeah, I know. I’m behind on my journal keeping. STFU already.

So I had my sleep study last night. My doctor thinks part of my high blood pressure is caused by sleep apnea. So fine. I’ll let them study how I sleep. No problem, right?


Here’s what happens. You go in at 7:30 at night. You answer some questions, fill out some forms. No problem.

Then, the nurse GLUES electrodes to your head. 10 of them. Then, she tapes 4 more to your face. Then, she tapes two to your chest. You get a strap around your upper torso, a strap around your abdomen. Two more wires are attached to your face, one under your nose, one on your chin. 4 wires are attached to your legs. A blood gas meter is taped to your finger. You are made to lie on the MOST FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE bed in history. And then they tell you to go to sleep. While someone watches you on a night vision camera.

So yeah. I got a WHOLE LOTTA sleep.

But the torture doesn’t end there. Then you have to go through a series of four half-hour naps. After I laid awake for 2 of them, I gave up. Hey, a guy has limits.

I’m not sure what my doctor will tell me when I see him next week. But I have to doubt just how accurate this study was.


Back to work. I took the day off yesterday for my sleep study. Today back to the grind.

Not much to tell. I may get into another political rant soon.


Yeah, I know. I missed yesterday. Lay off me

Gee. Another terror alert. Why do these things always seem to happen whenever something negative about Bush comes out?

I think the good folks at got it right:

Yeah, Right on!


OK, OK, I realize I haven’t written anything in my DAILY journal for 5 fucking days
I’ve been busy. Give me a break.

OK, I admit it. I’ve been "busy" playing The Sims.

And drinking.

And goofing off.

And a small amount of work.

Yeah still. Five days. Sheesh, even the naked critic ( has a better record than I do.

I’ll try to make up for that later. Right now I’ve been busy downloading naked skins for my sims.

God, I’m a pervert.

Either that, or it’s just been so long that I may have forgotten how.

I hate my life.


So, I saw the sleep specialist yesterday.

Apparently, according to the results of the test, I have trouble sleeping well on a medieval torture rack of a bed with 30+ wires hooked to my body and someone watching me on night vision camera (see 7/12/04 for more details). Gee, go figure!

But the torture isn’t over. I have to go BACK a week from Sunday. And go through the whole thing all over again. Only this time, they’ll test me with a breathing mask. It’s called a PAPS. I guess that means Positive Airway Pressure System. I think it forces air into your respiratory tract to keep it open.

As if the previous tortures weren’t enough, now they want to blow me up like a balloon.

Of course, the doctor also told me to lose weight. Fucking doctors. What do they know?

I think most of my health problems can be traced to being 60+ lbs overweight. High blood pressure. High cholesterol. Sleep apnea.

Maybe I should start excercising.

Nah, that's too much work!