Monday, December 20, 2004

TIME magazine is clueless

The staff of TIME magazine is a bunch of clueless fucking idiots.

OK, maybe you're thinking that statement is a little harsh. But I counter that argument by saying, "Look who those retards just named as their 'Person of the Year'"!!!


Have they lost what passes for their minds?!

According to the story (and this is a direct quote):

"For sharpening the debate until the choices bled, for reframing reality to match his design, for gambling his fortunes—and ours—on his faith in the power of leadership, George W. Bush is TIME's 2004 Person of the Year"

Let's analyze this.

"For sharpening the debate...". Hmm. In the debates I watched, he looked about as sharp as a bowling ball. He may be the dumbest person on the planet! The only way you can use the words "sharp" and "George W. Bush" in the same sentence is if you were to say "I'd like to shove a sharp stick up George W. Bush's ass and break it off."

(for those secret service agents reading this (Yeah, right), that was NOT a threat against the President. Geez. Lighten up!)

"For reframing reality..." Let me say this very clearly so there is no misunderstanding:


George W. Bush does not live in the real world. He lives in his own little fantasy world. And he's getting rid of everyone who tries to correct his view of that fantasy world.

"...for gambling his fortunes—and ours—on his faith in the power of leadership..."

I don't even know where to begin on this one. In fact, I think I'll leave it alone. Sometimes shooting fish in a barrel is just too easy.

I knew there was a reason I never liked TIME magazine. Now I know for sure.

Of course, maybe I'm setting the bar to high. This is, after all, the magazine that almost named OSAMA BIN LADEN as their person of the year!!

Oh, and George? Remember him? HE'S the person you STILL haven't captured. HE'S the one responsible for September 11th. WHY are you such a CLUELESS FUCKING IDIOT?!!

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

The Joys of a Live Christmas Tree

Instructions for obtaining a live Christmas tree:

Step 1. On a bitterly cold Sunday morning, put on 3 layers of winter clothing and pile into a beat up old van with six other people and a big, smelly dog.

Step 2. Drive said van 15 miles north into Michigan to a live Christmas tree farm.

Step 3. Upon your arrival, park the van, then spend the next 45 minutes to an hour examining 50 different trees trying to find "the perfect Christmas tree".

Step 4. Upon realizing the futility of your search, realize that the only way to avoid losing your toes to frostbite is to select the next tree you see and get the hell out of there.

Step 5. Lie down in the snow on your side. Attempt to cut the tree as close to the ground as possible. Fail miserably in your attempt. Ruin your best pair of gloves in the process.

Step 6. Drag the tree (which looks a lot less straighter than it did when it was still standing) over to the baler. While waiting for the tree to be wrapped, rub face with hands in attempt to restore feeling to face.

Step 7. Spend another ten minutes freezing your ass off while the other people in your party are still getting their trees.

Step 8. Get back into van. Go home. Spend 20 minutes under a hot shower. VOW TO NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!!!!

Step 9. Do it all over again next Christmas!

Actually, this year I finally wised up and skipped the annual Christmas tree hunt. I simply threw my back out when I bent over to pick up my dad's tree. So I've spent the last day and a half on pain medication. And it still hurts like a sonofabitch.

Next year, my dad gets an artificial tree!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004


Yeah, another boring post with nothing but the day's date as the title. Hey, I'm not the most creative of people.

So. What's happening in the news today.

I see the house may finally pass the intelligence reform bill. Big deal. Do I think it will do any good? Of COURSE not!

Let's think about this. The monumental series of screwups that led to the 9/11 disaster were CREATED by the giant pile of red tape that is generated by our intelligence bureaucracy. Now they propose to cut through that red tape by INCREASING the size of that bureaucracy and creating even MORE layers of it?

Sigh. Why do I bother.

And just think. At least two more years of the Republicrats controlling everything.

Yes, I call them Republicrats, because, like Republicans, they want to cut taxes, but like Democrats, they want to increase spending at the same time.

Think about it. Suppose you had a credit card, and just kept spending and spending with it, while never making any payments, because you didn't have enough income. In a few years, you would owe thousands on this card.

Now what do you do?

I have a feeling our country is going to face that question in a few years.

Monday, December 06, 2004

The Silly Season

OK, OK, I realize I haven't posted since before Thanksgiving. Did I mention that I'm lazy?

So here we are at full sail into the hurricane of another holiday season. As usual, I'm behind on my Christmas shopping. I'm sure I'll end up finishing it all the weekend before Christmas like I always do. Sometimes I really hate Christmas.

Oh, go ahead. Call me scrooge. Like I give a good Goddamn!

Yes, sometimes I hate Christmas with a blue and purple passion. Think about it. Christmas is like work. You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

(OK, I admit it. I stole that from a joke I've heard. Still pretty funny, though!)

What is Christmas, exactly? Well, supposedly it's the day when Jesus was born. But historical records were pretty sketchy 2004 years ago. So no one can be sure of the exact date of Christ's birth. It could have been in June, for all we know. And until someone invents a time machine, we'll never know for sure.

The current date of Christmas grew out of the celebration of the Winter Solstice, when the peasants all got together to celebrate the end of the shortest day of the year, and the beginning of longer days. Or something like that.

So calling December 25th the date of the Birth of Christ is like calling Jessica Simpson the head of NASA. You can say it, but that doesn't make it true.

Personally, I think we need to put all the focus onto Easter, when the REAL miracle occured. Christmas has become far less about the birth of the savior and more about presents, eating, family, and fellowship. Not that any of these things are bad, but it would be good to know that we can enjoy them without feeling bad about not concentrating on the reason the whole holiday exists in the first place!

Maybe it's just me. Maybe not.

Bah, Humbug!

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Go Bucks!!!

Oh come let's sing Ohio's praise
and songs to Alma Mater raise
While our hearts rebounding thrill
with joy which death alone can still.
Summer's heat and winter's cold
the season's pass, the years will roll,
time and change will surely show
how firm thy friendship


Carmen Ohio

Ohio State 37 Michigan 21 November 20, 2004

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


Yeah, I know. I haven't posted in almost two weeks. As I've said before, I'm lazy! STFU already! Besides, I'm still recovering from my Open Letter from the previous post.

So. What's going on in the world.

The Bush Davidians (credit to for that term) are busily working to remove everyone who might possibly raise the slightest disagreement with their policies. Colin Powell is out, replaced by Condi Rice. Apparently failure is rewarded, success is not. Meanwhile, King George the W (credit to Jim Hightower) is continuing to treat his miniscule one percent majority of votes received as an overwhelming mandate.

It's not.

The Republicans repeatedly trumpet the fact that more people voted for Duhbya than any other president. Left out is the fact that more people voted for John Kerry than any other opponent to a sitting president. And I still want to know WHY Diebold was still allowed to place a voting machine within ten miles of any polling place in America.

(In case you're wondering why I say that, just go to Google and put in the words "Diebold deliver Ohio bush". Note: I got over 34,000 hits!)

Meanwhile, the right has created a response to It's called One picture shows a woman in front of a confederate flag, just to give you some idea of the mindset of these people.

Oh, and in case you doubt how stupid they are, the first text you see on the website is:

"Does it Look Like Were Sorry?"

That's not a typo! They misspelled "we're"!

How in the HELL did we EVER lose to these morons?!!!

Friday, November 05, 2004

An Open Letter to George W. Bush

Dear President Bush,

I did not vote for you in 2000, nor did I vote for you this year. The way I currently feel, I would not vote for a Republican presidential candidate if Jesus Christ himself were on the ticket. The days of the great Republican presidents seem to be long in the past. You and your cronies are nothing like them.

You did, however, apparently convince a majority of Americans to vote for you. You may be tempted to think that your re-election to the presidency by that miniscule majority is a signal to you that your disastrous domestic and foreign policies should not only be continued but also be expanded upon. On this point, I’m afraid I must disagree.

You see, you did not win this election because Americans overwhelmingly support your policies and admire your record of achievements. You won this election through a combination of factors: your constant propping up of America’s irrational fear of terrorism, your constant stream of attack ads that bordered on slander and libel, your use of surrogate groups to constantly fling mud at your opponent, your shameless pandering to your base’s fear of homosexuals, non-Christians, and anti-gun activists, and your constant repetition of lies and half-truths. I also suspect, though I will probably never prove, that you had a little help from fraudulent voting machines. When the CEO of Diebold, the maker of many vote-tabulating machines in Ohio and elsewhere, sends out a letter in which he declares his intention to deliver Ohio for George Bush, what else can I think?

Your opponent did the honorable thing by conceding the election, even though he could have dragged the process out for days or even weeks. He has done the honorable thing for his entire life, despite your efforts to convince everyone otherwise. But this election is by no means the end. Yes, one battle has been lost. But the war is far from over. The fight will go on. Let me tell you why.

Over the past four years, you have systematically worked to destroy this country. Your economic policies have shifted the bulk of the tax burden to those who can least afford it, while ensuring that ninety percent of the wealth remains under the control of ten percent of the population. Your lack of a coherent health care policy has caused millions of people to lose their health insurance benefits, and millions more to have their benefits greatly reduced. Your education policy has caused those schools and students that need help the most to receive the least amount of that help. Your environmental policies have given polluters free reign to despoil our country in exchange for short-term profits. Your lax regulatory policies have allowed some of the largest corporate scandals in history to take place. Your scientific policies have ensured that research that could be vital to the eradications of several horrifyingly debilitating diseases is likely to never take place. Your security policies have ensured that no American citizen can ever feel free to protest your actions without inviting intense government scrutiny.

These offenses, however, pale in comparison to your disastrous foreign policies. From the moment you took office you began alienating our allies by dismantling many of the treaty agreements forged by your predecessors. After September 11th, 2001, however, dozens of countries all over the world were united in their support of America. You could have used this opportunity to forge alliances that would have lasted for years. Instead, you used this opportunity to initiate a war against a sovereign country that had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks of September 11th, thereby alienating those very same countries that will now have a hard time ever trusting us and who will be reluctant to help us in our fight against global terrorism. Worse yet, you justified that war with reasons that were flimsy at best and outright lies at worst. To make things even worse, this war has cost the lives of over a thousand American soldiers, as well as the lives of thousands of innocent civilians, to say nothing of the thousands wounded. Our military is badly overstretched, enlistments are down, our troops face equipment shortages, and their morale is low. Worst of all, there will likely be no end to this fiasco anytime soon. You claim to be the candidate of strong moral values. How can you make that claim when you are constantly working to put more and more of your citizens in poverty and to send more and more of their sons and daughters into an unjustified war. Where is the moral value in that?

Despite all your mistakes, however, you have another four years to correct them. What, you may ask, can you do to fix what you have broken? Well, I have a few suggestions.

For starters, you can put an end to your policy of giving large tax cuts to those who need them the least. You can work to reduce the cost of health insurance to the point where everyone can afford it You can use the vast bargaining power of the federal government to force the drug companies to provide their drugs to everyone at reasonable prices. You can work to ensure that poor schools are given the funds they need to improve their facilities and hire quality teachers. You can force polluters to repair the damage they have done to the environment, before it becomes irreversible (if it hasn’t already). You can force corporations to clean up their act by instituting a strict series of accounting and accountability rules, with harsh penalties when those rules are broken. You can work to ensure that our most brilliant doctors, scientists, engineers, and other talented people have access to all the resources they need to work the wonders that they are capable of. You can eliminate policies that bring down government scrutiny on people who have done nothing but voice their objections to your actions.

But most importantly, you can appeal to our former allies in other countries to help us in our efforts to stabilize Iraq to the point where our soldiers no longer face death every hour of every day. And you can also enlist the help of those countries in bringing to justice the man who instituted the largest single attack ever to take place on American soil. THAT should be your number one priority. You should also work to change the image of America in the eyes of the world. Currently we are looked at with a mixture of fear and hate. That is a dangerous combination, and one that will spell even more trouble down the road.

In other words, you should do everything that you promised to do when you first ran for the presidency!

Do I think that you will do any of these things? Of course not! After all, you didn’t do any of it during your first term. Why should things be any different in your second term?

Well, listen up. I’ll give you a good reason why they should be different.

Your party now firmly controls both the executive and the legislative branch of the federal government. There is no one to stand in your way. You are free to do just about anything you want. More importantly, however, there is also no one else to blame for any future failures. You can’t blame the other party for anything else that goes wrong (although I’m sure you will try.) You can no longer blame September 11th for all the problems we face today (although I’m sure you’ll try that too.) Fortunately for you (and for us!) you can no longer run for re-election (Thank God!) and in the end you will answer to no one but your own conscience, if you have one (which I sometimes doubt.)

But you will also have a far harsher judge evaluating your actions: History. History will be watching you. History often looks favorably on great achievements. But more importantly, history is not kind to failure. Your name will forever be part of history—that is an inevitable consequence of the office you hold. It is up to you to decide whether you want future generations to view you as an example of an effective leader to be emulated or a disastrous failure whose mistakes should never be repeated.

For now, we will be watching you. You have at least two years of complete control of the government. If you screw things up too badly in that time, you will suddenly be faced with a popular revolt from the people. We will unite to force your Republican cronies from congress, replacing them with people who believe in policies that make sense.

And don’t think you’ll be able to get away with more of the same. You may have tamed the major media outlets, but the vast Internet community will be ready to spread news of every mistake you make and every lie you tell. The Internet is the one tool of free speech that no one can control, and more and more people gain access to it every day. And while it’s true that probably eighty percent of “news” on the Internet is either a lie or a distortion of the truth, you have proven that lies and distortions can take a person pretty far in the world.

If you don’t start working to fix your mistakes, we are going to do our best to make your life miserable for the next four years, and to ensure that history views you as the monster you are. Consider it payback for the last four.


Eric Johnson
November 5, 2004

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

What's in a name? PLENTY!

So. Yesterday morning I walked into my polling place. I stood in line for about a half-hour--nothing to complain about--and got my ballot card. I went to the table and carefully filled in my ovals. I then put my completed ballot in the privacy folder and walked up to place it in the Tabulating machine.

What I saw when I got there froze my blood colder than a welldigger's feet:


Yes, the tabulating machine was made by the Diebold corporation.

Now, as you may be aware, I live in Ohio. And you may also be aware that I've mentioned previously in this blog that the CEO of Diebold last year sent out a fundraising letter saying he was committed to delivering Ohio for George W. Bush (just Google the words "Diebold", "deliver", "Bush", and "Ohio". I got 7,300 hits. Some were even non-porn sites.)

Diebold's electronic voting machine was rejected by my county. But apparently it's optical scan tabulator was not.

So, in light of all the exit polls that came out favoring Kerry, just how did they get it so wrong?

Was it just poor polling, or did Diebold really come through on its promise to deliver Ohio for Bush--by any means necessary?

Even though Kerry has now conceded, I'd still like all the provisional ballots counted. I have a hunch that they will tell a different story. Just don't let the Diebold machines count them!

Welcome to my nightmare!

I don't think you're gonna like it!

Once again, this U.S. of A. has demonstrated that it suffers from terminal head-in-ass disease.

This is truly a nightmare come true. Think about it:

Bush in his second term--now accountable to no one but his corporate buddies.
Firm Republican majorities in both houses.
One Supreme court justice certain to retire within a half year. At least two more likely to leave. Possibly three or even four.
A war in Iraq that looks like it may never end.
The administration already talking about Iran the same way they talked about Iraq before the invasion (if you think Iraq is a mess, just wait and see what happens when we invade Iran!)
The world's most dangerous terrorist still alive, well, and healthy.
(Remember him?!)
Soldiers still dying every day.
The continued pollution of our environment.

So long, America. It's been nice knowing you.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Today's the day!

So. Today is the day when millions of Americans will make the most important decision of their lives.

No, I'm not talking about whether to choose Miller or Bud Light. Grow up, ya yutz!!!

I'm referring to the Presidential election.

I've already voted. Went in first thing this morning. Now other Americans have to decide what they want.

Do they want four more years of massive budget deficits? Huge tax cuts for the wealthy? Skyrocketing health care costs? American soldiers dying in unjustifiable wars? Living in a constant state of fear of terrorism?

I sure as hell don't!

Vote early. Vote often. Just VOTE!!!

Monday, November 01, 2004

All the pieces are in place...

On the Democrats' side:

* A record number of new people have registered to vote.
* Osama Bin Laden produces a new tape mocking Bush and encouraging Americans to vote for Bush.
* "Fahrenheit 9/11" has been out on video for more than three weeks.
* News stories every day tell of more dead soldiers in Iraq.
* The Washington Redskins lost their final home game before the election (always bad news for the incumbent party! Don't believe me? Check here:

On the Republicans' side:

* Electronic voting machines--manufactured by large corporations that owe a lot to Bush
* 40,000+ absentee ballots mysteriously "lost" in Democratic Broward County, Florida.
* A record number of Republican vote suppres--"poll challengers" in place.
* Bad weather predicted for tomorrow--always bad news for Democrats.
* The incumbent is still commander in chief of the military...

On America's side:

250,000,000 people who have the nearly unmatched power to peacefully change the entire government every four years, IF we'd just get off our lazy asses, turn off the idiot box, and VOTE!!!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

So Boston finally breaks the curse!

So. Boston sweeps St. Louis in four games. Wow.

I'm a Cardinals fan. But I have to give credit to the Sox. They came back from a 3-0 deficit to stuff the Yankees, and now they beat St. Louis in a four game sweep.

Again I say, wow.

Boston's last series win was 1918. Neither of my parents were born then. My Maternal Grandmother was 21 (she died at age 91). Women did not yet have the right to vote. World War I was a recent memory. Woodrow Wilson was president. The moon was a light in the sky, not a target to be landed on.

So now it falls to the Cubs to break another long baseball curse.

Excuse me while I roll on the floor laughing!

Thursday, October 21, 2004


I love the Red Sox.

So long, Yankees. Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye!

I love it. A team where some of the players earn more than some other teams finally gets its comeuppance. And they do it by blowing a three game lead, and then getting humiliated in the final game.

Now, the only thing that could be better is if the Bosox win the series. Of course, I'll have a hard time cheering for them against the Cardinals if they're in it, but I think Boston is due.

On the downside, though, John Kerry may have just lost New York!

The other interesting thing that I hadn't considered until someone recently brought it up to me: We could have a Texas Team playing a Massachusetts team...


Sunday, October 17, 2004

I don't want to live!!!


Three losses in a row. I hate Iowa!

What is wrong with my beloved buckeyes?

First off, they need to shoot their offensive coordinator. And then the defensive coordinator.

Tressel can keep his job--for now. After all, he did lead the Bucks to a national championship two years ago. And he's beaten Michigan as many times in three years as John Cooper did in 13. So I'm willing to cut him a little slack.

IF they lose to Indiana this Saturday, though, then I'll be leading the lynch mob!

Thursday, October 14, 2004


I watched "Fahrenheit 9/11" tonight. I realize that some people may take issue with the facts and obvious bias of this movie. But no one who actually watches it can ever deny that it is an extremely powerful movie. Few movies can make me cry. This one has at every viewing (3 so far)

But what can I do about it?

It may not be much, but tonight I started a new tradition for myself.

Tonight, and for as many nights as possible in the forseeable future, I will silently give the following prayer to God:

Dear God,

Please extend your hand and give some measure of comfort to Lila Lipscomb and all of the other mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, grandmothers, grandfathers, grandchildren and all other relatives of the members of the United States Armed Forces who gave their lives in the service of their country. I can never hope to repay the debt I owe them, but maybe I can, through this simple prayer, assure that their sacrifices will never be in vain.

All I can hope is that God will listen. I firmly believe that God exists. He hears all prayers. He just doesn't always give you the answer you want. I just hope this request is simple enough that he will grant it.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

No, Bucks!

What the fuck is wrong with the Buckeyes?!

Why don't they have an offense?!

Why is the previously much-vaunted unstoppable Buckeye defensive machine leaking like the proverbial sieve?!

Why do I continue to torture myself?!

Maybe because I know they are capable of greatness. They did win the National Championship just 2 years ago. And I know that Jim Tressel is capable of doing great things as a head coach. He has a lot of very talented players. He just needs to fire his offensive coordinator.

Seriously. The Buckeyes scored 13 points against wisconsin. Six of those points came on a punt returned for a touchdown. That means the only offensive points came from the talented foot of kicker Mike Nugent. That means no offense.

I've pretty much written off the season this year. There's always next year, I guess.

Friday, October 01, 2004


OK, OK. I know. I haven't posted in three weeks. STFU already! I've been busy.

O.K., I admit it. I've just been lazy!

God, I can't believe it's already October.

Or maybe I should say it's Octobrrrrr!

It was COLD this morning!

So, I watched the debate last night. I was quite impressed with Kerry's performance. Not that it changed my mind one whit. I've always believed that Duhbya is a clueless idiot. Last night just comfirmed it,.

Seriously. How did this boob ever become the president?

He is, in my opinion, living proof that if you have enough money, you can put any idiot in the White House.

Meanwhile, the Republican smear machine continues to attack Kerry. Maybe because they can't point to any accomplishments they have made.

I heard an interesting statistic the other day. Bush is the first president since John Quincy Adams to never veto a single bill that Congress passed.

The republicans currently control all three branches of government. They have for the last 2 years now. So why haven't they fixed all of America's problems yet?

You can get a lot done in two years. Unless, of course, you're a republican.

Vote early. Vote often.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Where's Osama?

So. What to write about today.


Or, as the Republicans have come to call him, "he who must not be named, especially in any of the convention speeches".

Of course, I've had this theory for a while now that Osama is stashed somewhere and they'll bring him out and parade him in front of the cameras around October 30th.

Recently it has been reported that the number of CIA officers assigned to find him is fewer now than it was BEFORE September 11th.

Seriously. I heard John Kerry mentioned in some negative fashion in just about every speech at the rnc (they don't deserve caps--I've said it before and I'll say it again!) At no point did I hear the name of the man who masterminded the most deadly attack on American soil since Pearl Harbor.

Why aren't we looking for him with every available resource? Because we're spending all of our time and resources trying to fight an insurgency in Iraq that will never be beaten. You'd think we'd have learned our lesson from Vietnam. When you're fighting enemies that are willing to do anything it takes to beat you, you'll never beat them. Unless, of course, you play by his rules. Which we can't do because we're "the good guys"! And because then we'd be no better than them.

Of course, looking at some of our actions in Iraq, I'd say we ARE no better than them.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Cardiac Kids

The cardiac kids are back!

I'm a HUGE Ohio State fan (my computer desktop is colored red and gray) and I watch and/or listen to every game.

I also intend to get excited at the close games. The bad kind of excited. The throw-my-TV-out-the-window kind of excited.

I also have high blood pressure. This condition, I'm sure, wasn't helped by Yesterday's game.

After cruising to an early lead, the Buckeyes let Marshall get back in the game, courtesy of two interceptions. I think it may be time to give Troy Smith a few reps.

In 2002, when the Buckeyes won the National Championship, They won seven of their fourteen games by 7 points or less, including the championship game. Let's just say it took a few months to regrow the hair I tore out.

So, with yesterday's close game, I can't help but wonder if we're seeing shades of that season again.

What the hell. A W is a W! I just hope my system can take it. I may have to stop watching!

Friday, September 10, 2004


As if I didn't have enough reason to hate the yankees!

Recently, the Yankees asked the Devil Rays to forfeit when some of their players wouldn't make the trip from Florida to New York because they wanted to stay home and make sure their families were safe from the Hurricane. Don't believe me? Go here:

Me, I say a big ol' Fuck You to George Steinbrenner and his whole misbegotten organization.

I used to respect the Yankees. They were great entertainment. They had so many great players they had to stop retiring numbers for fear that they wouldn't have any left! This is a team that produced the likes of Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Yogi Berra, Reggie Jackson, and Whitey Ford, just to name a few. The yankees were the most respected team in baseball. Their name was cursed and at the same time whispered with reverence and awe.

Nowadays, they have the highest payroll in baseball. Some of their players are paid more than some other teams. And yet, lately they've been sucking dirty ass water. As of this writing, they are only 3 games ahead of the Red Sox. They have apparently gotten so desparate for a win that they've asked one of the worst teams in baseball to forfeit for the most asinine of reasons. Of course, the irony is that they swept their series against the Devil Rays. Huge surprise, huh?

Damn Yankees! I hope they get their asses kicked in the playoffs! Better yet, I hope they don't even MAKE the playoffs.

Hey, a man can dream!

Thursday, September 09, 2004

The story of Pvt. Louis Perez

This morning I heard a story on NPR's Morning Edition.

It was about Pvt. Louis Perez. He was 19 years old.

I say was, because he was just killed in Iraq.

Let me say it again--he was NINETEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD!!

But that's only the start of the story. Apparently, this kid recently graduated from high school. He joined the Army reserve right away. And when he was called up to serve in Iraq, he asked if he could marry his seventeen year old girlfriend before he left. Her mother wanted them to wait, but he apparently took her aside and said he had a feeling he might not come back from Iraq. He wanted her to be taken care of.

So, this was a good kid. He had his whole life ahead of him. And three days after he got to Iraq, he was killed by a roadside bomb.
And his wife is a seventeen year old widow who is still in high school.

God Bless America.

You can hear the full story here:

Wednesday, September 08, 2004


Just like the title of my last post, the title of this post is the number of servicepersons killed in Iraq.

Yes, we have reached that sad milestone.

Let's do a little math:

The invasion of Iraq began 593 days ago.
1003 troops have been killed in Iraq since then.
That means that about 1.7 soldiers have been killed each day. Or about 17 troops killed every 10 days.

Think about that for a minute. I work in an office of about 140 people. Now imagine if every ten days, 17 of them were killed. The entire office staff (including me) would be gone in less than 90 days. Talk about high turnover.

Meanwhile, our soldiers continue to live each day in peril.

"Mission Accomplished", My ASS!

Tuesday, September 07, 2004


You may be wondering about the title of today's post. Let me explain.

You see, 996 is the number of American Servicepeople who have been killed in Iraq since this whole mis-begotten adventure began MORE THAN ONE AND A HALF YEARS AGO!!!

Of course, that number is only part of the story. You have to add to that number the fact that for every serviceperson killed, at least ten are wounded. Many of these unfortunates are maimed for life, with arms and/or legs gone. Many others will suffer permanent mental and/or physical impairment.

And, of course, in addition to their physical hardship, they must deal with a V.A. hospital system that is suffering increased funding cuts under the Bush Administration.

And for WHAT? Where are the weapons of mass destruction? Where are the Al Qaeda cells? Where are the file cabinets containing Saddam's plans for a vast terror attack on the U.S.?

Why did we invade Iraq?

And why do at least 50% of Americans believe ANYTHING that comes out of Bush's mouth?

Friday, September 03, 2004


I know, I know, I haven't posted since last Friday. STFU already, willya?

Anyway, here we go.

I could offer several lame excuses, but mostly it's just because I'm lazy.

I'm hoarse today, because I've spent most of my time over this week shouting at my TV as I watched that huge, steaming pile of crap called the republican national convention (they don't deserve caps!)

"Herr Gropenfuhrer" Schwarzenegger was nuts. "Zellout" Miller was crazy. "Dickless" Cheney was a windbag. And don't get me started on George "Four more wars" Bush.

I can't understand how all these morons can continue to believe their own lies. Maybe they don't. But I have to believe that telling so many lies without actually believing a few of them is impossible.

BTW, about "Zellout", go here:

to see what he had to say about his "good friend" John Kerry just three years ago.

With friends like these, who needs enemies?!

GOD, I'm pissed off about this!!!! I better stop writing now.

Friday, August 27, 2004


So. What to write about today.

Oh yeah. The new census report on the poverty figures came out. The gist of it is that there were more poor people last year than the year before. I say, "DUH!"

You can read the full story here:

Boiling it all down, it's basically bad news for King George the W.

So what is their response:

1) Release the report early. Traditionally, this report is released the first week of September.
2) Blame the messenger. Say that the census numbers are old (which they are) and that they don't reflect the current booming economy.

OK, let's look at this. To address the first point, just look at what's ahead. Releasing the numbers in September would put them right after the Republican convention. We couldn't have that!

To address the second point, King George the W is well on his way to being the first president since Hoover to finish his first term (and hopefully his last) with fewer net jobs than he started with. And the jobs that are being created pay, on average, about 25% less than the jobs they are replacing. In addition, more and more people are losing their health care coverage. And the people who are losing it are the one's who can least afford to!

Now, I don't believe in living on handouts. I never have (I did collect unemployment a few times, but I figure I earned that money. I firmly believe welfare should be a hand up, not a way of life.

On the other hand, I don't believe anyone should be forced to work more than one job just to support their family. Having a job means you are a productive (and taxpaying) member of society. You shouldn't be punished for it by being forced to choose between buying food and buying health insurance.

I thank GOD that I am no longer living from paycheck to paycheck like I did for so many years. But I know I am only one financial disaster away from abject poverty, as are a lot of other people. At least I have health insurance. A lot of those same other poeple don't.

Oh, well. That's the way our system works. The poor get poorer and the rich get richer.

You watch, though. I'd almost bet money that we'll have another terror alert in a day or two!

Thursday, August 26, 2004


So. What to write about today.

Oh, yeah. The U.S. basketball team finally pulled its head out of its ass and beat Team Spain, which was previously undefeated.

Now, Team USA is coached by Larry Brown, the same guy who coached the Detroit Pistons in their whipping of the Lakers. He took a team of mostly unknowns and turned them into a team that stifled its opponents with awesome defense and great team play.

So why has Team USA been sucking dirty ass water?

Maybe it's because it's mostly made up of a bunch of 19 and 20 year old kids who went directly into the NBA and are subsequently a bunch of spoiled little babies who believe the world owes them everything because they're more than six feet tall and can throw a ball through a ring (sometimes).

I'm not impressed. If these kids want to impress me, they'd go back to college and finish their degrees. That would inspire a lot of their peers to do the same. THAT would do a lot more good than what they're doing now.

Personally, I think we need to go back to picking the best college athletes and sending them to the olympics. Sure, we wouldn't have as many medals, but we know these kids would be more interested in winning them and less interested in getting the shoe endorsement contracts.

I know I'd go back to watching them.

But that's just me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004


So. What to write about today.

Oh yeah. Dick Cheney finally acknowledged that he has a gay daughter.

He said, and I quote:
"Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it's an issue our family is very familiar with."

He also said:

"The question that comes up with the issue of marriage is what kind of official sanction or approval is going to be granted by government? Historically, that's been a relationship that has been handled by the states. The states have made that fundamental decision of what constitutes a marriage."

(Source for both quotes: AOL News)

Hmm. Meanwhile, King George the W keeps talking about amending the constitution to define marriage as between a man and a woman.

As I've mentioned before, I don't give two shits about the whole issue. I'm not gay, but I do know a few gay people, and most of them are nice, normal people. Of course, some of them are freakishly weird, but the same can be said about some of the straight people that I know.

I figure live and let live. I don't object to anyone's religious, political, or lifestyle choices, as long as they don't try to force them on me! And if these poor saps want to get married, let 'em! Let them deal with the pain of divorce, and cheating, and ugly marital spats, and every other pain (and pleasure) that comes from married life. As I've mentioned before, I think the whole thing is a plot by divorce lawyers to target a fairly good-sized portion of the populace.

As far as Cheney goes, I think the whole thing is a shameless attempt to pander to the more moderate Republicans who are turned off by the violent homophobia of the extreme right. Knowing as much as I do about Cheney, I'm not prepared to give him any shred of benefit of the doubt.

For his daughter's sake, though, I hold the hope (probably in vain) that he's being sincere.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004


More on what I wrote yesterday.

These fucking swift boat ads are taking their toll. Apparently, Kerry's support from veterans has dropped dramatically.

To them I say: Wake up, you MORONS!!! This is a guy who was RIGHT THERE WITH YOU! He could've used his family money and influence to avoid service (like a certain president) but he VOLUNTEERED to serve in Vietnam!

Then, even though he could'vd sat out the war manning a radar console on a nice, cushy destroyer, he instead volunteered for one of the most dangerous duties in the navy. I'm pretty sure it takes balls of steel to climb in a boat that's about as heavily armored as a hot tub and drive it up a river while being exposed to fire from BOTH sides. And maybe he did volunteer for this dangerous duty to shorten his term of service, but at least he was THERE!

WHERE WAS GEORGE BUSH? He was drinking his way through the Air national guard, learning to fly an obsolete plane that would never see air combat. I can't imagine Bush actually taking hostile fire. He probably would've sat there pissing his pants and crying for his mommy!

Oh, and about the purple hearts: As I understand it, if you receive a wound from hostile fire, then it doesn't matter if it's a bruised arm or a lost leg, you still get the purple heart for it. It doesn't matter whether the shrapnel you were hit by was the size of a needle or a basketball. I admire him for still commanding his boat while wounded.

ANYWAY, though, Kerry has been forced to start spending his campaign money early, meaning he could run low at a crucial juncture! This could mean abandoning a key swing state! Like OHIO!



Monday, August 23, 2004


Karl Rove is an utter fucking political genius.

(warning: This is a long post)

President Bush denounced campaign commercials aired by outside groups on Monday, including an ad that accuses John Kerry of lying about his combat record in Vietnam. "That ad and every other ad" run by such groups (the so-called "527" groups) have no place in the campaign, Bush said when asked about the commercial sponsored by Swift Boat Veterans For Truth that has roiled the race for the White House.

(BTW, that paragraph above is from the AOL article on the subject. Credit where credit is due.)

So, in effect, Bush says "take those 527 ads off the air". If Swift boat veterans for truth (two lies for the price of one) then removes the ad, then they can put pressure on the 527 groups that are against Bush to remove theirs. If the SBVT keeps their ad on, Bush can say, "well, I tried, but I don't have any control over these folks."

It's Win-Win for Bush. Like I said, Karl Rove is a genius.

But let's analyze this. Let's start with the fact that the Republicans have no control over SBVT.

Lets do some numbers. For one thing, how many men actually SERVED on these boats in Vietnam? I'm going to be generous and say there were 5000 of them, total (I have no idea how many--I'm pulling figures out of my ass--just like Rush does).

Now, lets assume that two-thirds of these guys are anti-Kerry (again, I'm being generous). That leaves us with about 3300 soldiers.

But wait. Kerry only served on the boats a few months. So lets reduce the number of Vets who actually served in the same area as Kerry by two-thirds. That leaves us with about 1,000 guys who were actually on ANY swift boat at the time Kerry was there.

But let's say this group is composed of about 500 ACTUAL swift boat veterans. Let's further say that there it costs roughly $5,000 a spot to air these ads (on average). Lets assume the spot airs 200 times a day in all the various markets. Doing the math, that's ONE MILLION DOLLARS A DAY! The means each of the 500 veterans in this group would have to put up $2000 A DAY to fund these ads. I don't know what these guys earn in their jobs, but that's FOUR MONTH'S NET PAY for me!

Now, let's assume that for every Vet in this group, there are 10 non-vets. That's 5000 members. That means they still need to produce $200 a day to pay for the ads. That's about what I take home in three days.

Never mind the fact that this whole excercise is a moot point, because most of the funding for SBVT comes from a major Republican donor.

No control over this group? Who do they think they're kidding?!

Sunday, August 22, 2004


So. What to write about today?

Went to the Tigers game last night. My sister's law firm buys season box seats (GREAT seats!) and doles them out to the lawyers, clients, friends, etc. on a by-game basis. Since my dad won't be in town for his birthday, we decided we'd celebrate a couple of weeks early

(I can't believe my dad's going to be 74. Fuck, I'm old!)

Anyhoo, it was a perfect night for baseball. Not a cloud in the sky, cool but not TOO cool, light breeze blowing, huge, raucous crowd, and they actually WON!

Granted, it took 11 innings, there were about 30 hits total, the Detroit starting pitcher left with an "injury" (yeah, right!) after less than 1 1/2 innings and after giving up two runs on five hits, they were playing one of the worst teams in the league (Seattle), and they pretty much played their entire bullpen, but they still won! Of course, then they proceeded to lose today. Such is life.

My cousin Shawn and his family were there, with their new baby (I've posted his picture earlier--check the archives). And everyone had a great time. And, since we spent the night at the Detroit Athletic Club, I had about six 32 oz. beers.

My hangover STILL hasn't gone away!

All in all, though, a GREAT night!

Thursday, August 19, 2004


So. What to write about today.

This evening is the annual office picnic. It's basically everyone from the office bringing food and kids to a shelter house at one of the local parks, eating too much, drinking too much, glad-handing with the local politicians, and waiting for the prize drawing.

You see, everyone in the office chips in $20 for the prize pot, and the office manager goes to circuit city or Best Buy and buys lots of electronics, including several TV's and VCR's or DVD players. The winners are drawn at random from a pot. If you're not there, you don't get a prize if your name is drawn.

ANYWAY, this will be the eighth picnic I've attended since I've been working here. I've yet to win anything. I'm getting discouraged.

Let's see: 8 picnics at $20 apiece. That's $160. %$#@%$#!

I could've BOUGHT a TV or VCR for that much money.

But hey, there's free beer and food there. Too bad all the good-looking women that show up are married or involved.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004


So. What to write about today?

I think I'm turning into a girl.

Let me check.

(Brief pause)

Nope, male genitalia still in place.

I just finished watching this crapfest chickflick called Love Actually. It's THE chickiest chickflick of all the chickflicks I've seen. It's full of every chickflick movie cliche known to man. It's also got a cast of thousands.

It's also got Keira Knightley and Elisha Dushku in it--pretty much reduced to bit parts--what a crime! And if that weren't enough, you also get to see a bit of T & A.

Don't get me wrong. This was a crapfest of a movie, and the only reason I watched it is because I found it at the library. But God help me, I had a big shit-eating grin plastered on my face for most of it. I may even watch it again.

Excuse me, gotta check again.

(another brief pause)

Yup. Dick still there.

OK, I admit it. Sometimes I dig the shit out of a cheesy chick flick. Maybe if I ever DO get a girlfriend, I'll be ready when she pops one into the DVD player.

For now, though, I'll go back to the library and see if their copy of Notting Hill is available.

Oh God, someone shoot me now!

Friday, August 13, 2004



My garage is fixed. I no longer live in fear of my garage roof collapsing and crushing me and/or my car. I'm also out about $4400 bucks. Life sucks!

Now the only problem I have to deal with--well that's not true--I have a LOT of problems to deal with--is the MASSIVE SINKHOLE on the back of my property.

Let me explain. There's a sewer line that runs along the back of my property, and behind the property of everyone on my block. It was apparently built quite a while ago, and it's also apparently deteriorating to the point where it's causing problems. And by problems I mean BIG HOLES APPEARING IN PEOPLES' BACK YARDS!

So I've been trying for a month and a half to get the city to come out and take care of it. Every time I call, though, they act as if it's the first time they've heard about.

Our local news has something called "Call for Action" wherein if you have a problem that's being ignored by the person or persons who are responsible for fixing the problem, you call this news team, and they shine the harsh light of unfavorable publicity on the offending party or parties. The problem usually goes away quickly afterwards.

I'm giving the city another two weeks from today. I know no one's reading this blog, but if anyone ever does, take notice: on 8/27/04 I will either be reporting that the problem is being fixed or that I am calling the news.

Take notice

Thursday, August 12, 2004


So, what to write about today...

What to do about politics?

No, strike that. Enough about politics. Maybe next time

Let's talk about me.

You may recall I got in trouble at work a few weeks ago. I filed a grievance against management for writing me up. The grievance was denied, of course. It's now working it's way through the process.

So, anyway, Yesterday one of the senior mis-managers comes up to me yesterday and tells me not to come in tomorrow without a tie.

Let me explain. I hate ties. I always feel like I'm being strangled. So when I was moved to a job where I didn't deal with the public on a regular basis, I stopped wearing one. My department head let it slide. For more than three years. Said senior assmanager saw me many times without it. Nobody said ANYTHING about it.

Fine. So I file a grievance because I believe I was unfairly disciplined. Said senior Manageasswipe suddenly gets his glasses checked and discovers I don't have a tie.

So I wore one today. I'll wear the same tie again on Tuesday (no ties required on Mondays and Fridays). And Wednesday. And Thursday. And every day I have to wear one until the tie is little more than a string. Why should I waste my good ties on this fucking place?

If said senior asshole doesn't like hit, he can do what Dick Cheney told Pat Leahy to do.

See, I managed to sneak politics in after all!

I'm also going to get a Kerry/Edwards button and wear it prominently.

Let them tell me to take it off. I will insist on the order in writing. Then I will give that order to the local media. My boss is running for Congress. That'll go over big.

Then I'll start updating my resume.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


Ok, so I know I haven't posted for a week. Gimme a break, willya?

Anyway, where to start:

Alan Keyes OF MARYLAND has decided he will run against Barack Obama for the Illinois Senate seat that is open.

In 2000, he was asked to run for Senate in New York against Hilary. The exact quote of what he said in response is this:

"I deeply resent the destruction of federalism represented by Hillary Clinton's willingness to go into a state she doesn't even live in and pretend to represent people there. So I certainly wouldn't imitate it." (italics mine)

Hmm. Seems like the message he's putting out there is "Do as I say, not as I do".

Not that he has a chance anyway. He's an outsider, who only has three months to campaign, and he's running against a favorite son of Chicago, and one who was the Keynote speaker at the Democratic convention.

I like Obama. I mean, sure, he seems to have come along at the perfect time, right when his opponents are self-destructing politically. But I've seen him talk. He is intelligent, articulate, charismatic, and reasonably good-looking (except for those ears--good God, man! Use glue if you have to!)

I'm sure he has more in his future than just a senate seat. Too bad his name sounds so much like a certain other person...

Maybe he can change it!

Wednesday, August 04, 2004


I keep getting more and more angry every time I hear an attack ad on Kerry.

Maybe it's because I read and know the TRUTH!

I listen to facts. When I hear or see something that smells like a lie, I check it out. I also try to read everything I can get my hands on.

People have tried to run for political office on a campaign of honesty. They usually fail. Maybe because nobody believes they're being honest.

You may or may not have read my journal where I announced my campaign for president. In it, I made some brutally honest statements.

Imagine if candidates said what they thought, instead of what they think people want to hear.

Said candidates would probably fall by the wayside quickly.

The sad fact is that nobody seems to want to hear truth in political campaigns any more.


Tuesday, August 03, 2004


Another terror alert. This one timed to correspond with the post-convention bounce that Kerry got from last week. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Yeah, right!

The scary part is, they've cried wolf so many times with these constant terror alerts (which appear to coincide with drops in Duhbya's approval rating) that when they actually issue a genuine alert, no one will pay any attention to it.

Just like we don't now...

Monday, August 02, 2004


So. I had my PAPS sleep study last night.

This machine is weird. They strap a mask to your nose, then turn it on. The machine then blows air into your nose and down your throat. If you open your mouth, air comes out. Add some vodka and a lighter and you got yourself a fire breathing machine.

OK, getting over how weird the machine feels, I was still wired up with 20 wires on my head and body. I was still sleeping on a rock-hard bed. I still got very little sleep.

To top it off, I think it made me sick! I've got such bad stomach cramps I had to skip work today.

All my problems, of course, could be solved with diet and excercise...

Screw that! Just gimme a pill!

Sunday, August 01, 2004


So, I go in for my follow-up sleep study tonight.

If you read my journal postings for July, you know what a fun experience this is. Only this time, they're going to add a PAPS machine.

For those of you playing the home game, PAPS stands for Positive Airway Pressure System. Apparently this thing is designed to force air down your windpipe and keep your airway open.

Sounds like a lotta fun...

More journal entries

>>>All the entries from July. I'm caught up now. Woo-hoo!


So it’s July. Woo-hoo.

2 days away from the holiday weekend, and forecasters are predicting rain Saturday and Sunday. Not just rain. SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS!

Have I mentioned how much I hate Midwest weather?

I’m too depressed to write more.


What’s going on? Who am I? Where the hell are we going?

Sorry, I guess I drank too much last night.

I’ve gotta stop drinking during the week.

I’ve recently read about the five levels of a hangover. I think I’m at level five right now.

I gotta stop. My head is spinning. You. Go. Play. Now.

Special Insert: The five levels of a hangover:

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak& fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice
clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cubical. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.
Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now....

7/3/04 & 7/4/04

I’m not writing this weekend. It’s the Fourth of July, and I’m taking a break. I’ve got some heavy drinking to do. See you on Monday.


So, I’m off today.

There aren’t many benefits to working for the government. Having eleven-and-a-half paid holidays per year is one of them.

Yesterday was the Fourth of July. In this country, we apparently celebrate it by getting drunk and setting off illegal fireworks. Come to think about it, we celebrate a lot of holidays that way.

There’s also something that happens called “A Capitol Fourth”. Broadcast on PBS, it’s a usually entertaining. It also usually rains.

It’s also usually hosted by Barry Bostwick. He’s quite a talented actor.

It also usually has many, many big stars performing for it. And they sing patriotic American tunes.

So who was the star performer of this concert? CLAY FUCKING AIKEN!!!

I’m sorry, but the current people who purport to be the big stars of the day, like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, are not musicians. They are glorified Karaoke singers. Hell, I can dance around and lip sync to other people’s songs too. I don’t make millions doing it.

Here’s a little tip: If it’s an American Fourth of July concert, try playing some PATRIOTIC SONGS! I don’t want to hear Clay “queer-as-a-three-dollar-bill-and-I-don’t-care-what-you-say-to-the-contrary” Aiken sing his latest song. I want to hear the marches of John Philip Sousa.

Maybe I’m just bitter.


Yeah, I know. I’m behind on my journal keeping. STFU already.

So I had my sleep study last night. My doctor thinks part of my high blood pressure is caused by sleep apnea. So fine. I’ll let them study how I sleep. No problem, right?


Here’s what happens. You go in at 7:30 at night. You answer some questions, fill out some forms. No problem.

Then, the nurse GLUES electrodes to your head. 10 of them. Then, she tapes 4 more to your face. Then, she tapes two to your chest. You get a strap around your upper torso, a strap around your abdomen. Two more wires are attached to your face, one under your nose, one on your chin. 4 wires are attached to your legs. A blood gas meter is taped to your finger. You are made to lie on the MOST FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE bed in history. And then they tell you to go to sleep. While someone watches you on a night vision camera.

So yeah. I got a WHOLE LOTTA sleep.

But the torture doesn’t end there. Then you have to go through a series of four half-hour naps. After I laid awake for 2 of them, I gave up. Hey, a guy has limits.

I’m not sure what my doctor will tell me when I see him next week. But I have to doubt just how accurate this study was.


Back to work. I took the day off yesterday for my sleep study. Today back to the grind.

Not much to tell. I may get into another political rant soon.


Yeah, I know. I missed yesterday. Lay off me

Gee. Another terror alert. Why do these things always seem to happen whenever something negative about Bush comes out?

I think the good folks at got it right:

Yeah, Right on!


OK, OK, I realize I haven’t written anything in my DAILY journal for 5 fucking days
I’ve been busy. Give me a break.

OK, I admit it. I’ve been "busy" playing The Sims.

And drinking.

And goofing off.

And a small amount of work.

Yeah still. Five days. Sheesh, even the naked critic ( has a better record than I do.

I’ll try to make up for that later. Right now I’ve been busy downloading naked skins for my sims.

God, I’m a pervert.

Either that, or it’s just been so long that I may have forgotten how.

I hate my life.


So, I saw the sleep specialist yesterday.

Apparently, according to the results of the test, I have trouble sleeping well on a medieval torture rack of a bed with 30+ wires hooked to my body and someone watching me on night vision camera (see 7/12/04 for more details). Gee, go figure!

But the torture isn’t over. I have to go BACK a week from Sunday. And go through the whole thing all over again. Only this time, they’ll test me with a breathing mask. It’s called a PAPS. I guess that means Positive Airway Pressure System. I think it forces air into your respiratory tract to keep it open.

As if the previous tortures weren’t enough, now they want to blow me up like a balloon.

Of course, the doctor also told me to lose weight. Fucking doctors. What do they know?

I think most of my health problems can be traced to being 60+ lbs overweight. High blood pressure. High cholesterol. Sleep apnea.

Maybe I should start excercising.

Nah, that's too much work!

Saturday, July 31, 2004


So, here we are, the last day of July. Summer is almost over and I can't help but think that I missed it somehow.

Also, I got screwed at work yesterday.

It all stemmed from an incident that happened last Wednesday. I won't bore you with the details here, but suffice it to say that I lost my temper (I have a notoriously short fuse). Anyhoo, I discussed the matter with my union steward and I had thought the matter closed. When nothing more was said, I figured no harm, no foul. Case closed.

Hang on.

So yesterday, I get called into my supervisor's office and handed a write-up. I was livid. Fortunately, I remained calm, but inside I was seething with rage. I should point out that they did this at 4:20 on a Friday afternoon, when half the office was gone, including our chief union steward.

Rest assured that I'm going to nail them to the wall on this one. And I have a strong union to fight beside me.

I've heard of places where union and management have a good working relationship, and where they don't screw people like this.

Believe me, my office is NOT one of them!

What really pisses me off was the smug looks I kept getting from my stuporvisors. I plan to wipe those looks right off their faces.

With sandpaper if necessary.

Posting more journal entries

>>>This is the last batch of entries for June


Take a look at the date above.

Now, let me describe the weather.

It’s currently 55 degrees. It’s raining outside. There is a cold breeze blowing. I almost had to wear a jacket coming to work this morning.

Oh yeah, did I mention that it’s JUNE FUCKING 25TH!!

I think somehow we skipped summer. Since the beginning of June, I think we’ve had maybe ONE day where the temp was over 90.

Having recently seen The Day After Tomorrow, and having seen what can happen when the Atlantic climate changes (or at least the Hollywood version of what can happen), I can’t help but wonder.

Summer is never pleasant here in Toledo. This is a town of weather extremes. It’s either very hot, or very cold (sometimes in the same day!) There is very little in between. But this is getting ridiculous.

Did we somehow skip summer and go straight into fall.

Let’s see:

Long days? Check.

Leaves all green? Check.

Kiddie pools filled? Check.

Hot summer weather? Oopsie!

I suppose I should be grateful. At least it’s not 98 degrees with 100 percent humidity. On the other hand, I’d like to be able to sleep at night without piling on two blankets.



So…my garage is falling down.

Not so much falling down as the roof is collapsing. It’s good to be specific about such things.

And there are cracks in the slab.

And two roof beams are cracked.

And there is rot on the walls.

And the shingles need to be replaced.

OK, so maybe it is falling down.

I can’t wait to see how much it’ll take to fix it.


That I don’t have!



Well, they’ve been out to look at it.

OF course, part of the problem with the damage might be coming from the HUGE SINKHOLE that’s behind my garage. Apparently there’s a sanitary sewer running along the back of all the properties on my side of the street. It’s caused problems for both of my neighbors, and now it’s doing the same for me.

A bigger problem may be all the boards and other lumber that’s placed on the crossbeams of my roof.

The biggest problem, of course, may be that my garage was built back in the ‘50s and has never had any work done on it.

Ah, the joys of home ownership!


The final one about my garage (for now):

The first estimate is in: $2500

Now, I’ve had at least two people tell me they know people who can do the job for less. Much less. The trouble is, they’re both people who do this kind of work on the side. I’m in a dilemma.

Do I hire an established building contractor, one who does this sort of thing for a living, or do I hire someone who only does it on the side?

If I’ve learned one thing in my more than 36 years walking this earth, it’s that you get what you pay for—at least in most cases.

So. Do I pay for the good job, or do I get the bargain contractor and take my chances?

Decisions, decisions.


Busy. Busy. Can’t write today. You go away!


God, I can’t believe it’s the last day of June. The year is half over already.

We finally are getting some summer-like weather. It’s about time. Of course, with global warming causing the ice shelf to break off, thus changing the saline balance of the ocean, thus disrupting the Atlantic current, thus causing a new global ice age, how much longer can it last.

Hey, I saw The Day After Tomorrow. Hollywood would never lie to me, right? Right? Hello? Is this thing on?

OK, so maybe the movie was overblown a little. But as I sleep at night at the end of June under a flannel sheet and a comforter, it makes me wonder sometimes.

Of course, Hollywood has never had a problem stretching the rules of logic, physics, or even basic common sense. There are entire websites devoted to pointing out the flaws of movies.

That doesn’t mean they’re not entertaining by any stretch of the imagination. Spiderman 2 opens this weekend, and I plan to go see it.

I know. It’s not based in reality. Who gives a shit? It’s fun!

As I wind up this last journal entry for June, I scroll back through it and see what my month was like. This is more for me to recall past events than anything else.

See you in July!

Friday, July 30, 2004

More journal entries

Here is the latest batch of journal entries in an attempt to catch up:

(extra entries today in case I don't get to it over the weekend)


And the Lakers are the chumps!

I watched most of the second half of the game last night, and it was a joke.

The Lakers looked like they were just going through the motions. The Pistons looked like the championship-quality team they were AND are.

Let’s face it--that series should have been over last Sunday. If they had just fouled Kobe before he took his shot, the Pistons would have won.

As it were, I think winning ONE game of a four game series is more humiliating than winning none.

Think about it. You get swept in four games, then that proves that you obviously weren’t good enough to be there. But if you win one, then that proves that you were good enough to beat your opponent at least once, and that you could’ve won more games if you tried a little harder.

The Lakers didn’t even try.

Now if we could just get the Lions to play in, and win, a Super Bowl, then all four Detroit sports teams can claim a national title win. Time to get busy, Lions!

Excuse me while I roll on the floor laughing!


Warning: Political rant approaching. Take cover.

There is no relationship between Al Qaeda and Iraq.

Repeat as necessary.

Joseph Goebbels believed that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth. I say, if you repeat the truth often enough, maybe people will finally get it.

Am I a hopeless optimist? I seriously doubt it. I firmly believe that the glass is either half-empty or broken.

I simply believe that at some point, the American people will finally one day wake up and understand just how TOTALLY FUCKING STUPID our current government is. I mean, just what does it take to make people WAKE THE FUCK UP?!!!

Iraqis are being tortured in prison—by American soldiers.

The average price of gas is over $2 per gallon.

Jobs are being created, but not fast enough.

The price of milk is $3 per gallon.

The budget deficit is out of control.

Terror alerts rise and fall inversely to Duhbya’s approval ratings.

The “USA PATRIOT act” allows government to pry into every aspect of your private life.

The Attorney General lost his senate race to a dead man.

People who have the least money pay the most taxes.

God, if you’re watching, would you please reach down and give everyone in this country a big smack on the back of the head?


I’m starting to doubt that anyone is sane in this country. Or even in this world.

I mean, EVERYONE seems to be crazy.

People cut you off in traffic, then give you the finger when you honk at them. I will sit in a lane with my blinker on for five blocks, hoping someone will let me over. It doesn’t happen.

Whatever happened to common courtesy?

I came up with an idea a while ago. I want to design a neon sign that displays simple messages on my back bumper. Said messages can be activated with a simple button push. Messages like, “excuse me please”, “please don’t tailgate”, “thank you”, and “please slow down”.

Do I think it might make people more polite? Not really. More than likely I’d just get rear-ended. Or shot.

Like I said. People are insane.


We celebrated Father’s day today. Since my sister and brother-in-law were going to his parents’ house tomorrow, we had our festivities today.

I brought steaks. We had corn-on-the-cob, French fries, veggies, and other stuff.

My sister also made a pitcher of margaritas. Which she then drank about half of.

My sister is not a large person. She is quite thin, and, as a consequence (and because she doesn’t drink often), she cannot handle her liquor.

She becomes, not to put too fine a point on it, an obnoxious drunk.

She made me apologize for calling me a twit at one point. A little later, she called me an asshole. So much for the apology.

Anyway, we also, as a present for my dad, sanded his old picnic table down to the bare wood. We then re-varnished it. It looks beautiful. I also had hurts in places I didn’t know I had places. I was also covered with sanding dust by the end. But it was worth it. As I said, it looks beautiful.

All-in-all, a good day, slightly marred by my sister’s behavior. My brother-in-law deserves props for putting up with it—unfortunately, it’s not the first time this has happened. Good thing is, it doesn’t happen often.

Now I remember why I drink alone. At least, that’s one reason


Sunday. Boring day. Lot’s to do, but no desire to do any of it.

Oh yes. I found out I have two bad roof beams in my garage. One is split completely, and one is sagging and close to breaking.

I can’t imagine how much it’s going to cost to fix.

I live in a house that was built back in the twenties. It needs a new roof, a new furnace, a new paint job, and new carpeting, just to name a few items.

I don’t know how I’m going to pay for it all.

Sigh. I guess I’ll just drink some more.

(yes, nothing for 6/21/04. STFU!)


Found this great site called It’s basically a site for online games.

Anyhoo, they have this great game called “cannon fodder”. It’s basically just two towers with cannons on top. The idea is to lob a cannonball into your enemy’s lap before he can do the same to you. You can play against the computer, or challenge others on-line.

That’s the fun part. The only problem is, the other on-line nerds who play this seem to have played it forever. They usually hit me with their first shot.

Either that or they hacked the game and are cheating.

Playing the computer is no fun. You like a live opponent--one you can chat with in-game. Of course, losing five games in a row to some nerd can be a serious ego-bruiser.

I think I’ll go practice some more.


Did I tell you I’m running for President of the United States?

Let’s face it. Bush is a moron. Kerry is a stiff. Nader is a joke.

That’s why I’m running. At least I’ll be honest about it.

For Example:

I’m a member of the Party Party.

On most issues, I occupy the prone position. Usually ‘cause I’m drunk.

My campaign slogan is “I’m running for President. Give me money.”

My platform is made of wood. And it will collapse.

When I’m president, I will outlaw the state of Michigan. Canada can have it.

Buckeye Football game days will be national holiday’s—wait, they’re on Saturday anyway.

A new national holiday will be declared on Woody Hayes’s birthday.

The more money you give me, the more “face time” you get. This goes double for beautiful women.

People who pollute the environment will be summarily executed. The same punishment will apply for those who make movies like “Gigli”. Let’s face it. That movie WAS pollution.

Terrorists will be hung upside down in the public square and stoned to death. Payback’s a bitch.

Now, who can argue with statements like that?!

I’ve got more, but I’ll be nice and won’t list them here.


Went to the sleep doctor yesterday. Of course, that’s not his official title, but that’s what I call him.

He thinks I have sleep apnea. Which I probably do. Unfortunately, no one sleeps with me lately but my dog, and she can’t tell me if I snore or not (nor, apparently, does she care).

The short version is I need a sleep-monitoring session.

The long version is that I need to lose 50 pounds, stop drinking, exercise, get a girlfriend, and generally change my entire lifestyle.

Yeah, THAT’S gonna happen REAL soon!

I like to drink. I like to watch TV. I like to play computer games. I love nothing more than to sit watching TV, play computer games, and drink.

God, my life is pathetic.

Anyhoo, the doc told me that drinking before sleeping can cause apnea problems. It can also be caused by being overweight and out of shape.

Wow, a trifecta.

No wonder my blood pressure is high.

>>>Sorry kids, no more for today!

Thursday, July 29, 2004


I have a discipline problem.

I don't like other people telling me what to do. I never have.

This, of course, causes problems at work.

All I can say is "Thank God for unions".

My ideal job would be one where I could set my own hours, set my own wages, set my own responsib...ah, who am I kidding? My ideal job would be applying the body paint on Rebecca Romijn-Stamos for her character in "X-Men"

Seriously. She is HOT! And I understand the job takes 6 HOURS!

Instead, I'm stuck in a dead-end job taking orders, filing papers, doing data entry, and all-in-all being bored out of my skull.

Just like 9 out of every 10 people in the world, I guess.

Hey, if work was supposed to be fun, they wouldn't have to pay you to do it.

I should count my blessings. I could have a worse job.

Doubt me? Check this out!

Posting today's batch of journal entries


Ronnie Raygun was finally planted today.

Half the office went into my boss’s office to watch the televised funeral. I stayed at my desk. Someone has to get work done around here. All right, I really played computer solitaire most of the time, but it’s the principle of the thing that matters.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Reagan was nowhere the near-saint EVERYONE seems to think he was.

He cut programs for the poor, cut taxes for the rich, ballooned the deficit and the national debt, and vastly increased military spending. In other words, he did what every Republican president has done since WWII (or before).

Meanwhile, poor Ray Charles languishes below the fold in most papers, and gets a 30 second sound bite at the end of the national newscasts, which are currently all Reagan, all the time.

If you ask me (which most people don’t), Ray contributed a lot more to this country than Reagan ever did. He brought life to many different genres of music. His stirring performance of “America the Beautiful” after September 11th still brings tears to my eyes. The fact that he did all this while blind only makes his achievements all the more impressive. And yet, he barely rates a brief mention in the so-called “liberal media”.

Ray, I have much more confidence in you being welcomed into heaven than Reagan. Sorry Ron, but I think you have a little time to do in purgatory first. Of course, you may already have done that, having rotted away from Alzheimer’s Disease for ten years…

I know I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, but I just didn’t like Reagan’s politics or his personality. And despite all the pundits on TV, he simply doesn’t rank among the top ten presidents. He’s barely in the top 20.


Woke up this morning and it was raining like crazy. It’s also COLD! I had to put on a long-sleeved shirt today. It’s JUNE 12TH, for the love of Christ!

The day started out crappy and is getting worse.

I should take advantage of the bad weather and clean the trash heap that I call my house, but I probably will just play computer games instead.

Computer games are a great invention. You can be the leader of a small tropical island, a general commanding mighty armies, a forward in the NHL, or even create your own little world of people and control their lives.

They are the single greatest way to waste time ever invented.

I can still remember that electronic football game I used to have. You know—the one where the “players” consisted of little LED lights, and was about as hard to master as a game of checkers. That was cutting edge technology 20 years ago. Now it belongs in a museum.

God, I feel old.


The weather is nicer today. I actually spent a few minutes outdoors mowing my lawn.

My dog loves the outdoors. She likes nothing more than to sleep for hours in the sun. When she’s in my house, she is restless and often wanders all over.

I think it goes back to the time she spent living on the street. She also has a tendency to wander, and not come back when you call her.

She can really be a pain sometimes. But I love her.

Dogs are amazing creatures. They give you their love unconditionally in exchange for nothing more than food, shelter, and the occasional biscuit or pat on the head.

I wonder if they can be considered self-aware? Many is the time I will look over at my dog lying on the couch watching me, and I wonder what she is thinking about.

Skeptics will say that dogs don’t think, but I think they do. I’m not saying they think along the lines of Plato or Descartes, but I’m sure they have simple thoughts, like where their next meal is coming from, or whether or not they will sleep comfortably, or whether or not we will abandon them somewhere.

I know that dogs dream. My dog often barks softly and kicks her leg when she sleeps. She’s probably dreaming about chasing something or somebody.

Dogs are the simplest of creatures, and yet no man can have a more loyal friend than a dog.

I may give her an extra biscuit today.



In your FACE, Lakers!

Normally I’m a person who doesn’t give two shits about basketball. I’ve never been a big fan of watching ten freaks of nature run back and forth on a wooden court dropping a ball through a hoop. I mean, when you break it down, that’s basically what the game is all about. Seriously. Have you SEEN Shaquille O’Neal? The guy is 8 feet tall and weighs 300 pounds. His hands are bigger than my head. That’s not normal. That’s not even abnormal. That’s a genetic mutation!

I am, however, a big fair weather fan when it comes to Detroit teams (except for the Red Wings—I always am a fan of them) and I would just LOVE to see Detroit put L.A. back in its place. Of course, I don’t want to see a riot break out in Detroit, as so often happens when a Detroit sports team wins big.

Seriously. Why burn down the city to celebrate a VICTORY? Are you people nuts?

But getting back to the game. The Pistons can win it all with a victory tomorrow night. I may watch a few minutes of the game, but not all of it—I’ve got plenty of DVD’s to watch instead.

And if they win, maybe it will prove once and for all that it’s not how talented your players are, it’s how bad you want it. It’s one of the biggest sports clich├ęs there is, but it’s still appropriate.


So the Olsen twins are 18 now. Woo-hoo.

I may have ranted on this before, but WTF does everyone think is going to happen now?

Seriously. Do they think they’ll tell guys to form a line outside their house and wait for their turn? Not gonna happen.

One of them looks anorexic. The tabloid rumors are already starting. Apparently they’re dating. I guess the gloves are off now that they’re legal.

Me, I couldn’t care less. I thought they were kind of creepy when they were babies. Now, picturing them as adults, possibly having sex, really creeps me out, as it should for every normal American male. We watched these kids grow up, for Christ’s sake! We watched their diapers get changed on national television. We know everything about their lives.

Now, do we suddenly believe the innocence is gone?

I don’t.

Of course, I wouldn’t turn either one of them down if they asked me out.

Excuse me. I need to go slap myself.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Journal entry postings for 7/28/04


Smarty Jones lost.

I’m not sure how much of a surprise this should be to anyone. Many former triple-crown favorites have failed over the past decade or two. Why should Smarty be any different?

I mean, come on. The damn horse was rated at one to five. That means for every dollar you would bet on him, you’d only get twenty cents back. A bet ticket on S.J. was worth less than the paper it was printed on. Sort of like the Bill of Rights under dubya.

Sorry, I almost got off on another political rant. I try not to, but it’s hard sometimes.

Let’s face it. Horse racing may be the most crooked sport in existence. And a long-shot horse coming forward to beat the big favorite seems to be a story that happens a lot in the so-called “sport of kings”.

That’s another thing. We live in a damn democracy. Why do so many of us like a sport that’s referred to as the SOK?

Maybe we all have the fantasy that by watching horse racing we’re a lot more sophisticated than we actually are.

Me, I’ll take a football game over a horse race any day of the week.

At least it’s not NASCAR.


Why do people like Ronald Reagan?

I mean, he tripled the size of the national debt, plunged us into massive deficits, and overspent the military budget to the point where the Pentagon was paying $200 for a hammer.

Everyone says he won the Cold War. They say this despite the efforts of tens of thousands of people, including four Democratic presidents, and the lives of thousands of American soldiers, that worked to bring down the Soviet Union.

Perhaps his policies hastened its collapse, but most historians seem to agree that the collapse was inevitable. He may have contributed to the chaos that now runs rampant in the former Soviet Union, by forcing the collapse before an adequate system could take its place.

But now everyone I meet says he was one step removed from sainthood. When I point out to them some of the failures of his policies, they look at me like I just called their mother a crack whore.

Am I the only rational person left on the planet? Am I doomed to forever be the voice of reason speaking calmly in a sea of shouted chaos? Everyone accuses me of being a far left liberal when I point out the past and present failures of the current government’s policies. When did “liberal” become a dirty word?

You may recall in an earlier journal entry that I gave you a quick test. If you answered honestly to all questions, then you are the most liberal person on the planet.

Welcome to my world.


I just finished a book called Smoke Screen. It’s the first fiction book I’ve ever read that dealt with the issue of the tobacco industry calmly and rationally, and presented all arguments on both sides, all while under the thin disguise of a work of fiction.

The author, Kyle Mills, is someone whose books I have read before. I was impressed by most of them.

This is a guy who comes up with real, practical solutions to some of the biggest issues and disguises them as novels. And unlike the Conservative rants of Tom Clancy’s books, he actually takes the time to give a fair shake to all sides of an issue.

Let’s face it. Cigarettes are never going away. Yes, they kill. Yes, they ARE addictive. No, we can’t stop teens from smoking if they want to. And it would be impossible to ban them completely. They tried banning alcohol once. As I recall my history, it didn’t work out too well.

Cigarettes are also a vital part of our national economy. The government at every level gets a huge amount of taxes from their sale. Many states in the south depend on tobacco farming as a major source of income. And despite all the lawsuits, the big companies will always survive on some level.

Maybe we should blame the whole thing on that crazy Sir Walter Raleigh. Maybe if he had never discovered tobacco…

Me, I’ve never understood the appeal of cigarettes. Think about it. You’re taking a bunch of fragments of dried leaves rolled up in paper, setting fire to one end, sticking the other end in your mouth, and inhaling the smoke. How, exactly does that make sense? I mean, you don’t stand up in the middle of a house fire and inhale the smoke from that, do you?

Inhaling smoke is dangerous, whether you do it from a fire, or from a cigarette. If a lot more people would learn that basic fact, maybe we’d have a lot less problems.


People are strange.

Have you ever gone to and looked up some of the numerous political books that are currently coming off the presses almost faster than they can be printed?

The most interesting thing is the ratings each book receives. They either tend to be one star or five stars. There are very few in the middle.

Of course, most of the one-star reviews of the “liberal” books are usually mispeld and gots bad grammer in they (I did that on purpose).

This indicates a disturbing trend in this country. I see the same thing when I get e-mails from my ultra-conservative cousin. He always misspells words and uses bad grammar in his various rants. He also tends to send me the same things two or three (or more) times. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve received the “Clinton hit list” or “Hillary black panther” stories from him or some of his friends and family.

Of course, this is the same cousin who says he is proud to live in one of the three states in the country where you can own a gun without a permit (Tennessee). He also claims to be a Mensa certified genius. I tend to question that, especially when I read some of his comments. There is a difference between being smart and being wise. There’s a difference between intelligence and common sense.

Unfortunately, that distinction seems to be lost on most people today. Look who the president is.

Of course, he’s neither intelligent nor does he have common sense…


So the Pistons are up two games to one now.

I gotta ask one question: Who the hell are these guys?

There are no big names on the team like Shaquille O’Neal or Kobe Bryant. A big night for the typical Pistons player is breaking 20 points. They get almost no respect from sportswriters and commentators. So why are they up two games to one?

I guess the old adage that “offense wins games, defense wins championships” really holds true. Apparently the Lakers have NEVER been held to less than 70 points in a playoff game until the last game.

There’s another team that has proved that same thing true: The Buckeyes.

Two years ago, they used smothering defense to win the national championship. And when they won their last championship back in ’68, they did the same thing.

Maybe that’s why the department that controls the military is called the Department of Defense. After all, it seems to work most of the time.

BTW, there are only 86 days ‘til the first Buckeyes game!




I hate the networks.

As I've mentioned before, I don't have cable TV. Yes, I'm the one.

So anyway, in my blog entry yesterday, I mentioned that I wanted to watch the speech by Barack Obama, the keynote speaker. I've stated how I see great things in his future. The guy impresses me, and I don't say that about too many politicians.

So last night around eight, I turned on my TV.
ABC--regular programming
CBS--regular programming
NBC--regular programming
FOX--need I even say it?

Same situation at nine.
Same situation at ten.

At this point, I'm thinking "WTF!"

Not one regular network had ANY coverage of the convention. Not last night, when Obama, Kerry's wife, and a very smart-sounding 12 year old girl all spoke. And apparently, they'll only show one-hour of coverage tonight. Just enough to nominate Edwards and show his speech.

Does anyone else think too much power is concentrated in the hands of too few people?

Seriously. It's summer. All the regular shows are on hiatus. What else is there that's worth watching? Not much, according to what I saw last night.

BTW, most of my rants this week will probably be political. Be warned. It IS a convention week.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004


Sooo...The Democratic convention is going on.

Ordinarily, I would skip it. I may watch tonight, though. You see, tonight is the Keynote Speaker. His name is Barack Obama.

I saw an interview with him on Meet the Press last Sunday. He is a apparently intelligent, well-spoken, reasonably good looking, young, and he is a rising star within the party. Some people have said he is just "in the right place at the right time". But consider this:

12 years ago, another intelligent, well-spoken, reasonably good-looking young man, who was a rising star in his party, was also "in the right place at the right time". Any guesses as to who I might be talking about?

Look for great things from this guy (Obama, not Clinton!) a few years down the road. Assuming he doesn't screw up somehow. Meanwhile, I plan to watch his speech tonight.

Posting more journal entries:

>>>As promised, here's more journal entries--the last ones from May 2004. I took the Memorial Day weekend off as a break from writing. I admit it. I'm lazy.


I got into it today with my co-workers.

I remarked about how coincidental it was that whenever Duhbya’s approval ratings go down, a terrorist alert gets issued, or something similar happens.

Am I the only intelligent person in this office?

One co-worker believes Saddam Hussein was in some way responsible for September 11th. Good grief, it’s been proven that’s not the case.

I know I promised to stay away from politics as much as possible here, but COME ON! Maybe my problem is that I work in a Republican office. I’m sure my boss only joined the young Naz--um, Republicans because he wanted to suck up. And I’m certaim my other co-worker seems to have had her brains sucked out by having two kids.

OK, let’s go over this one more time:

Saddam Hussein had NOTHING to do with September 11th.
Not one of the 9/11 hijackers was from Iraq
You are about 10,000 times (or more) more likely to die from heart disease than from a terrorist attack.
We invaded Iraq for one reason: OIL
Our country’s continued dependence on a fossil fuel with an unstable supply at best is the cause of most of our foreign policy problems.
Ever wonder why most people in Iraq hate us? Well, how would YOU feel if you had troops from Iraq patrolling the streets of YOUR town, taking all of your precious natural resources away, and locking you up in prison without trial?

Why is it Americans have so much trouble understanding why other countries hate us so much. Could it possibly be that we’ve done so much to inspire that hatred?

Wise up, folks. It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better—if it ever does!


I’m taking the memorial day weekend off from writing my journal. I’ve got some DRINKING to do!!!

>>>And now here's a few from June 2004:


I’m back after taking a Memorial Day break from writing my daily journal.

I got published, Baybee!

I sent a letter to The Blade, and they published it in last Saturday’s paper.

Not only did they publish it, they published it WORD FOR WORD!

Doubt me? Here’s the text of the letter I sent:

Gas-electric hybrid vehicles are a wonderful innovation. They may be the most important innovation in automotive technology since the assembly line. They’re also becoming more sophisticated and powerful. Gone are the golf carts of a couple years ago. They now are making full-sized versions of them, even an SUV. Everyone raves about how smoothly they ride. And with the price of gas now at more than $2 a gallon in most places, they only make more sense.

Of course, they still have one big problem: No matter how advanced they become, they will still always have to use gas. Yes, they use less of it. But they still use it.

Our entire modern civilization remains addicted to a fossil fuel that has been in large-scale use since the 19th century! It is difficult to obtain under the best of circumstances. And when some of the largest reserves of it are located under some of the most unstable regions in the world, those difficulties are compounded immensely.

Hybrid vehicles are a temporary solution at best. We must find a way to greatly reduce or even eliminate our demand for oil, period. Until we do, we will always be at the mercy of those who control its supply.

And here’s the link to it:

No applause is necessary. Just cash.

I know, it sounds like I’m blowing my own horn here. Well, DUH! This is MY JOURNAL, PEOPLE (and now it's MY BLOG)! It’s a place for me to spout my own feelings, actions, and to crow a little about my accomplishments! So if you don’t like it, quit reading!


About my new cousin.

Actually, I guess he’s my second cousin. Or my first cousin once removed. I’ve never known what to call the children of my cousins

James Franklin McAfee came into the world on May 26th, 2004. His names come from (I assume) my Uncle James McAfee and my cousin’s wife’s grandfather’s name (whew!)

He’s a cute little dickens, too! Here’s a picture of him:

James Franklin McAfee Posted by Hello

(jeebus, it takes a lot of effort to get a picture into a blog!)

He’s a dead ringer for his dad.

He was still in the NICU last Monday, because he was having trouble breathing. He’s off all the tubes and stuff now, though. According to my sister, when she first saw him, he had a whole bunch of medical equipment attached to him (that’s where the red face comes from).

He looks a lot bigger in the pictures than he actually is. He is 6 lbs, 9 oz., 19 inches long.

I’ve never seen a baby that was less than a week old. I just can’t get over how tiny he is.

Life is truly a miracle, isn’t it!


(This entry has political overtones. You may want to skip…aw, who am I kidding. Read on!)


Today, George Tenet announced his resignation, and we heard the words GEORGE W. BUSH and GRAND JURY in the same sentence.

I think I just had an orgasm.

This is the best news I’ve heard since they announced Elisha Cuthbert was going to be playing a porn star in her latest movie.

I can’t help but wonder if Tenet is not the first in a long line of dominoes. One can only hope.

Tonight, I’ll go home and hoist a beer in his honor. Hell, I was going to do that anyway, but at least now I have an excuse for doing so.

I do so love it when things go badly for George W. Bush. Now if we can just make sure he loses in 6 months…

Who will be next? Rumsfeld? Wolfowitz? Condi? KARL ROVE?

Place yer bets!


I need a hybrid car.

Driving home today, I saw that the price of gas was up to $2.10 per gallon in some places.

Oh, by the way, could someone please explain to me why they always use that “.9” on all gas prices.

I could probably find the answer if I spent 5 minutes looking on the internet, but I’m just too lazy.

The price of gas is more than $2 per gallon nationwide. The economy added more than 200,000 jobs, yet the unemployment rate remained the same. We are stuck in a quagmire in Iraq. Most of the rest of the world hates us. And yet, Bush’s approval ratings remain as high as they ever were.

How much longer can this country continue to function with its head so far up its ass?!


Dutch is dead.

It was at about 4 p.m. on Saturday afternoon. I had just finished watching the movie “Evolution” (“There is ALWAYS time for lubricant!” will always be one of the best. Movie. Lines. Evah.) when I flipped over to ABC and saw the banner line “Ronald Reagan dies” (BTW, NBC, CBS, and FOX didn’t cover it).

This is yet another one of those “Where were you when” (WWYW) questions that are becoming all too prevalent for my generation

Let’s go down the list.

Where were you when:

· You heard Reagan was shot
· You heard the shuttle Challenger had exploded
· You heard about the first Gulf War
· You heard the O.J. verdict
· You heard about the Columbine massacre
· You heard about JFK jr. dying in a plane crash
· You heard about September 11th
· You heard about the shuttle Columbia breaking up
· You heard about the SECOND Gulf War
· You heard about Reagan’s death

Of course, there are more questions, but this is just a small sample of the one’s I’ve heard in my lifetime. Most generations have only one or two (or no) WWYW questions, but in my more than 36 years, I have all these and more.

Do we define our existence by tragedy? I have to wonder. I was alive when two men landed on the moon, but I was also alive when Apollo 13 happened. I was alive when the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team won the gold medal, but I was also alive when we boycotted the Olympics.

Is the glass half-empty, or is it broken?

As for Reagan, many people claim that he won the cold war. But what he really did was plunge our country into massive deficits by increasing military spending while cutting taxes. Sound like anyone we know today? And the cold war was in its last days during his presidency, and he hastened its end by a week to ten days. He will be known as “Ronnie Raygun” for his support of the “Star Wars” program. And he compared the Contras in Nicaragua to our founding fathers. What a great guy!

I’m not sure just how sorry we should be for him.