Friday, October 24, 2008

F@&K Sprint and the Horse They Rode in on!

Today, I switched cell providers from Sprint to Verizon.

I did this because my Sprint phone was broken, I was tired of having no bars in more places, and of seeing my bills regularly be about $30 a month more than I was told they would be when I first signed up with Sprint.

So, I went to the Sprint Pictures website, to retrieve all the pictures I had taken with my old phone.

Surprise surprise. My pictures were no longer available. And, upon calling Shi--Sprint cuntstomer service, I was informed that they no longer existed in any form whatsoever.


I think they are merely pissed that I switched providers, and decided to hold my pictures hostage out of spite.

suffice to say that I will never be a customer of Sprint ever again, and I encourage you the 3 readers of this blog to drop Sprint if you have it and to tell all your friends to do the same.

Conventional wisdom tells businesses that it costs six times more to replace a customer than it does to keep them. Sprint has lost my business permanently. And they have lost the business of everyone else I know. This has been an expensive day for Sprint.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 8)

Disclaimer: The following is entirely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Or is it?

So. George was now his party's candidate for KingofalltheLand. But how would he beat the beloved AlGore?

George's handlers had succeeded in creating the image for him of a down-home Texas country boy everyman. But his opponent, AlGore, was a highly popular former Vice KingofalltheLand.

However, he had been second to the dreaded BillClinton. The dreaded BillClinton had forever tarnished his reputation.

George's handlers created a multi-pronged strategy:

1) Work to link AlGore hand-in-hand with BillClinton.
2) Plaster lies about AlGore all over the media.
3) create a multi-pronged whisper campaign about AlGore, tying him to overseas donors and false claims.
4) Go negative early and often.

These tactics worked. Many voters in George's fanatical base followed him blindly. George was almost positive he would win the election.

But disaster struck! The AlGore had won a majority of the popular vote! What to do?!

Easy! Start disputing the election in the magical land of Florida! After all, get simply one state to switch and the election would go to George, despite his losing of the popular vote...

To be continued.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Go Obama!

Gotta take a break once again from my heartwarming story series and share with the 3 people who read this blog some pictures from Obama's visit to Toledo today.

Quite a crowd, eh?

Here's some pix of Obama.
(Sorry about the quality of the pix, but I was pretty far away!)

Of course, there's always an idiot on call...

BTW, to the idiot holding this sign up, you are welcome to me for blacking out your face. I didn't have to, but common courtesy made me do it. The same courtesy of which you are obviously completely unaware.

Seriously. Baby-murdering Muslims? Dude, here's a quarter. Buy a clue.

I might also add that if this asshat had showed up at a McCain event, he'd be in Guantanamo by now. The difference between their party and ours is they look to silence all dissent. We look to drown it out with cheering.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 7)

Disclaimer: The following story is entirely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Or is it?

The great warrior JohnMcCain was a strong opponent for George. He was a decorated veteran who had served in the country's armed forces for years, and had spent 5 years being held captive by an enemy tribe during a period of war.

The great JohnMcCain was also known in political circles for being a "straight talker", someone who said what needed to be said, regardless of whether or not it was politically popular.

This was a strategy unheard of in politics! No one tells the truth in a political campaign--At least, NOT if you wanted to WIN!

But the strategy seemed to be working. Not only was support for JohnMcCain growing, he had won the first contest in the tiny province of NewHampshire. Coming next was the Province of SouthCarolina, which was expected to be another big win for the JohnMcCain, and would carry him forward to victory.

So George and his people pulled out their favorite weapon: the dreaded PushPoll!

All over SouthCarolina, potential voters would receive calls like this:

Caller: Hello! Are you a registered Republican?
Voter: Yes
C: Well, then, would you be more or less likely to vote for JohnMcCain if you knew that he had fathered an illegitimate child with a black woman?
V: likely, I suppose.

This reliable smear tactic caused the downfall of JohnMcCain, and catapulted George into the lead. George would go on to win the Republican nomination for KingofalltheLand.

But he faced a tough opponent in the popular Democratic candidate, the beloved AlGore...

To be continued...