Friday, May 14, 2010

Crystal Crazy

My city of Toledo has gone completely Crystal Bowersox crazy.

This American Idol winner wannabe came to Toledo today, performed at an Open air concert (where she apparently showed up late and sang two songs and then left), went to the Ottawa County fair, then returned to Toledo to sing the National Anthem at the Mud Hens game (the Mud Hens, by the way, will ALWAYS be more famous than any American Idol contestant), and then ran back to Hollyweird.

She is NOT from Toledo. She is from a place in Ohio called Elliston. Search for it on the web. You won't find it. You also won't find it on any current map of Ohio. That will no doubt change after this year. It's an "intersection town". If you are driving down a two-lane highway and come to a stop sign, you will see a few houses scattered nearby. That's what this town consists of. That, and a couple of churches.

I have NEVER watched a single episode of American Idol, and if I never watch an episode of the show, I will consider one of my life's goal's fulfilled.

I have probably said this before: I imagine the following meeting in FOX's production office:

"Hey! I have an idea for a show! Let's send out a call for every no-talent hack in the country to come and audition in front of cameras while singing badly over-produced Karaoke. We'll get a trio of judges with no power to change anything that will include a snarky English guy, a fading Pop star, and a token Black man that no one has ever heard of to choose the people that get to face up to whichever faction can manage to muster the most artificial internet and text votes to keep them in the game.

The sad part is that this show has become one of the most popular shows in the nation.

I weep for the dying IQ of this nation.

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