Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Another Take on Boom-Boom Cheney

So it seems that Harry Whittington, Cheney's victim, is now back in the hospital with a heart attack, caused when a piece of birdshot became lodged in his heart.

Let's step back and consider this for a moment, shall we?

--A typical Birdshot shell consists of several dozen pellets, each about the size of a bee-bee. In other words, it is very small. It's also very hard to kill anybody with it--it simply does not have the necessary penetrating power--unless it is fired from a shotgun at close range.

--In the news stories, administration officials always claim that Cheney was at least twenty feet away from Whittington at the time of the accident.

--Whittington was wearing a bright orange hunting jacket, and, presumably, at least one or more other layers of clothing.

Given all these conjectures, one is called upon to wonder just how a birdshot pellet managed to penetrate all the way through clothing, flesh, and even possibly bone, to lodge in Whittington's heart? Could it possibly have been that Whittington was much closer to Cheney than originally reported, and that the shooting was the result of a drunken accident and not, as has been stated, by Cheney being startled into thinking Whittington was a bird?

And given that the incident took 24 hours to come to light, couldn't one reasonably suspect that during that delay, the administration's war council was circling its wagons and making sure everyone had their stories straight before going to the media?

I realize that speculation like this pushes me, in the minds of some, even farther into the realm of the tinfoil hat club. But I don't give a shit. Wild speculation has become the basis for any number of outrageous facts coming to light. And I'm sure there are many others thinking along these lines. So I want to put it in writing, so people will know, should this scenario be determined to be the truth, that I was one of the first ones to bring it up.

Maybe then, my genius will be recognized for what it is.

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