Sunday, October 05, 2008

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 7)

Disclaimer: The following story is entirely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Or is it?

The great warrior JohnMcCain was a strong opponent for George. He was a decorated veteran who had served in the country's armed forces for years, and had spent 5 years being held captive by an enemy tribe during a period of war.

The great JohnMcCain was also known in political circles for being a "straight talker", someone who said what needed to be said, regardless of whether or not it was politically popular.

This was a strategy unheard of in politics! No one tells the truth in a political campaign--At least, NOT if you wanted to WIN!

But the strategy seemed to be working. Not only was support for JohnMcCain growing, he had won the first contest in the tiny province of NewHampshire. Coming next was the Province of SouthCarolina, which was expected to be another big win for the JohnMcCain, and would carry him forward to victory.

So George and his people pulled out their favorite weapon: the dreaded PushPoll!

All over SouthCarolina, potential voters would receive calls like this:

Caller: Hello! Are you a registered Republican?
Voter: Yes
C: Well, then, would you be more or less likely to vote for JohnMcCain if you knew that he had fathered an illegitimate child with a black woman?
V: Well...er...less likely, I suppose.

This reliable smear tactic caused the downfall of JohnMcCain, and catapulted George into the lead. George would go on to win the Republican nomination for KingofalltheLand.

But he faced a tough opponent in the popular Democratic candidate, the beloved AlGore...

To be continued...

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