I Hardly Know Where to Begin!

So many targets, so little time. Let's start with the obvious first:

On Terry Schiavo:

5 words: Let the poor woman die! Face it: her problems started because she was anorexic and obviously had image problems. Now, her face has been plastered all over the media everywhere looking horrible. I'm sure that's exactly what she never wanted to happen! And now, Republicans in congress are all set to intervene, in another example of their shameless pandering to their base. For God's sake, let her die with what little dignity she has left!

On ANWR Drilling:

3 Words: Really bad idea. Even the best case estimates have determined that there is, at most, a 6 month's supply of oil there, and that it would take 10 years to completely extract it.

Do the math: That means it will take ten years to extract a supply of oil that will be gone in six months. Think about it: would you spend ten days collecting firewood when you knew it would all be burned up in 6 hours? No. What you would do is invest in a gas-powered fireplace. In other words, if congress would get out of the carmakers' lobbyists' pockets and raise the fuel efficiency standard for all cars made in the U.S., we could save 10 times the amount of oil that may or may not be available in ANWR every year!

On Baseball and Steroids:

Doesn't Congress have more important things to worry about? Apparently not!

On Catholic Condemnation of The DaVinci Code:

Memo to the Catholic Church: Uh, guys? The book has been out for almost two years now. They're already making a movie out of it. I think the time to weigh in on the subject has already passed!

On the NCAA Basketball Tournament:

I didn't put in on the office pool this year. The one year that I did, I think I had Duke picked to go all the way, and that was the year they were eliminated in the second round. Since then, I've saved my money.

I should point out, though, that if Illinois manages to go all the way and win the National title, then there will be only one team that managed to beat them this year:

OHIO STATE!

Go Illini!

By the way: Does anyone else besides me find it ironic that March is National Problem Gambling Awareness month? March, when the one event that probably inspires more gambling than any other event takes place!

That's all for now.