So it's all over but the cryin'. Here's a few observations:
Poor Martin Lucci...I mean Martin Scorsese. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Five times now, they've dangled that beautiful golden statuette in front of him, only to snatch it away again at the last minute. Sisysphus endured less torture. He's the Buffalo Bills of the Academy awards.
Whew. I'm exhausted from coming up with all those witticisms. Brief pause while I collect myself.
OK, I'm back.
Hilary Swank has now won 2 Oscars by playing decidedly non-feminine characters. Does she secretly wish she was a man? I'm just sayin'.
Memo to Johnny Depp: You were named the sexiest man alive not too long ago. Try dressing like it!
How sad is it that Halle Berry has gone from Best Actress to Worst Actress in just 3 years? How cool is it that she and George DUIbya (tm) Bush share the same acting award--the golden Rasberry for worst acting performance? Psst. Halle. Babe. Want another Golden Statue? One that looks like a man and not a fruit? Try another five-minute-long sex scene. I'm volunteering right to be in it with you. Seriously. It doesn't even have to be in a movie. My bedroom would be great. I've probably got some old trophy gathering dust in my closet somewhere. It's no Oscar, but, hey, judging by the string of crap you've been putting out lately, it's about as close as you're going to get to one!
Still haven't seen The Incredibles yet. It's on my list of things to do.
Memo to Annette Benning: I hear there's all kinds of creams nowadays that work wonders on crow's feet. Again, I'm just sayin'.
Memo to Mike Nichols (director of Closer): When you release the DVD, make sure you include "the scene" in the extra features. You know which one I'm talking about. There's a million bucks in it for ya. Seriously. I could make a website where Star Wars geeks worldwide could donate a buck apiece to see "the scene". I'd bet I'd have a million within the first half hour it was up.
Anyhoo, that's all for now. I may add a few more thoughts later.
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