Friday, July 30, 2004

More journal entries

Here is the latest batch of journal entries in an attempt to catch up:

(extra entries today in case I don't get to it over the weekend)
6/16/2004

HOLY SHIT! THE PISTONS ARE THE CHAMPS!!!

And the Lakers are the chumps!

I watched most of the second half of the game last night, and it was a joke.

The Lakers looked like they were just going through the motions. The Pistons looked like the championship-quality team they were AND are.

Let’s face it--that series should have been over last Sunday. If they had just fouled Kobe before he took his shot, the Pistons would have won.

As it were, I think winning ONE game of a four game series is more humiliating than winning none.

Think about it. You get swept in four games, then that proves that you obviously weren’t good enough to be there. But if you win one, then that proves that you were good enough to beat your opponent at least once, and that you could’ve won more games if you tried a little harder.

The Lakers didn’t even try.

Now if we could just get the Lions to play in, and win, a Super Bowl, then all four Detroit sports teams can claim a national title win. Time to get busy, Lions!

Excuse me while I roll on the floor laughing!

6/17/2004

Warning: Political rant approaching. Take cover.

There is no relationship between Al Qaeda and Iraq.

Repeat as necessary.

Joseph Goebbels believed that if you repeat a lie often enough it becomes the truth. I say, if you repeat the truth often enough, maybe people will finally get it.

Am I a hopeless optimist? I seriously doubt it. I firmly believe that the glass is either half-empty or broken.

I simply believe that at some point, the American people will finally one day wake up and understand just how TOTALLY FUCKING STUPID our current government is. I mean, just what does it take to make people WAKE THE FUCK UP?!!!

Iraqis are being tortured in prison—by American soldiers.

The average price of gas is over $2 per gallon.

Jobs are being created, but not fast enough.

The price of milk is $3 per gallon.

The budget deficit is out of control.

Terror alerts rise and fall inversely to Duhbya’s approval ratings.

The “USA PATRIOT act” allows government to pry into every aspect of your private life.

The Attorney General lost his senate race to a dead man.

People who have the least money pay the most taxes.

God, if you’re watching, would you please reach down and give everyone in this country a big smack on the back of the head?

6/18/2004

I’m starting to doubt that anyone is sane in this country. Or even in this world.

I mean, EVERYONE seems to be crazy.

People cut you off in traffic, then give you the finger when you honk at them. I will sit in a lane with my blinker on for five blocks, hoping someone will let me over. It doesn’t happen.

Whatever happened to common courtesy?

I came up with an idea a while ago. I want to design a neon sign that displays simple messages on my back bumper. Said messages can be activated with a simple button push. Messages like, “excuse me please”, “please don’t tailgate”, “thank you”, and “please slow down”.

Do I think it might make people more polite? Not really. More than likely I’d just get rear-ended. Or shot.

Like I said. People are insane.

6/19/2004

We celebrated Father’s day today. Since my sister and brother-in-law were going to his parents’ house tomorrow, we had our festivities today.

I brought steaks. We had corn-on-the-cob, French fries, veggies, and other stuff.

My sister also made a pitcher of margaritas. Which she then drank about half of.

My sister is not a large person. She is quite thin, and, as a consequence (and because she doesn’t drink often), she cannot handle her liquor.

She becomes, not to put too fine a point on it, an obnoxious drunk.

She made me apologize for calling me a twit at one point. A little later, she called me an asshole. So much for the apology.

Anyway, we also, as a present for my dad, sanded his old picnic table down to the bare wood. We then re-varnished it. It looks beautiful. I also had hurts in places I didn’t know I had places. I was also covered with sanding dust by the end. But it was worth it. As I said, it looks beautiful.

All-in-all, a good day, slightly marred by my sister’s behavior. My brother-in-law deserves props for putting up with it—unfortunately, it’s not the first time this has happened. Good thing is, it doesn’t happen often.

Now I remember why I drink alone. At least, that’s one reason

6/20/04

Sunday. Boring day. Lot’s to do, but no desire to do any of it.

Oh yes. I found out I have two bad roof beams in my garage. One is split completely, and one is sagging and close to breaking.

I can’t imagine how much it’s going to cost to fix.

I live in a house that was built back in the twenties. It needs a new roof, a new furnace, a new paint job, and new carpeting, just to name a few items.

I don’t know how I’m going to pay for it all.

Sigh. I guess I’ll just drink some more.

(yes, nothing for 6/21/04. STFU!)

6/22/2004

Found this great site called www.makaimedia.com. It’s basically a site for online games.

Anyhoo, they have this great game called “cannon fodder”. It’s basically just two towers with cannons on top. The idea is to lob a cannonball into your enemy’s lap before he can do the same to you. You can play against the computer, or challenge others on-line.

That’s the fun part. The only problem is, the other on-line nerds who play this seem to have played it forever. They usually hit me with their first shot.

Either that or they hacked the game and are cheating.

Playing the computer is no fun. You like a live opponent--one you can chat with in-game. Of course, losing five games in a row to some nerd can be a serious ego-bruiser.

I think I’ll go practice some more.

6/23/04

Did I tell you I’m running for President of the United States?

Let’s face it. Bush is a moron. Kerry is a stiff. Nader is a joke.

That’s why I’m running. At least I’ll be honest about it.

For Example:

I’m a member of the Party Party.

On most issues, I occupy the prone position. Usually ‘cause I’m drunk.

My campaign slogan is “I’m running for President. Give me money.”

My platform is made of wood. And it will collapse.

When I’m president, I will outlaw the state of Michigan. Canada can have it.

Buckeye Football game days will be national holiday’s—wait, they’re on Saturday anyway.

A new national holiday will be declared on Woody Hayes’s birthday.

The more money you give me, the more “face time” you get. This goes double for beautiful women.

People who pollute the environment will be summarily executed. The same punishment will apply for those who make movies like “Gigli”. Let’s face it. That movie WAS pollution.

Terrorists will be hung upside down in the public square and stoned to death. Payback’s a bitch.

Now, who can argue with statements like that?!

I’ve got more, but I’ll be nice and won’t list them here.

6/24/04

Went to the sleep doctor yesterday. Of course, that’s not his official title, but that’s what I call him.

He thinks I have sleep apnea. Which I probably do. Unfortunately, no one sleeps with me lately but my dog, and she can’t tell me if I snore or not (nor, apparently, does she care).

The short version is I need a sleep-monitoring session.

The long version is that I need to lose 50 pounds, stop drinking, exercise, get a girlfriend, and generally change my entire lifestyle.

Yeah, THAT’S gonna happen REAL soon!

I like to drink. I like to watch TV. I like to play computer games. I love nothing more than to sit watching TV, play computer games, and drink.

God, my life is pathetic.

Anyhoo, the doc told me that drinking before sleeping can cause apnea problems. It can also be caused by being overweight and out of shape.

Wow, a trifecta.

No wonder my blood pressure is high.

>>>Sorry kids, no more for today!

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