It's Official (Again)

Well, if I needed any proof that Hollyweird has run out of ideas, I've gotten it.

You may recall a few months ago that I pointed out ABC's remake of the series Cupid. At the time, I laughed at it, because it was a remake of a show that had failed spectacularly less than a decade earlier. Of course, I ended up liking the show, mostly because it was well-written and well-acted, a rarity in this day and age of reality TV

Well, now ABC has announced a remake of "V", a miniseries and then TV series that aired about 25 years ago on NBC.

The premise of the show was simple enough: A large number of giant spaceships appeared over Earth, with the inhabitants looking to loot Earth's natural resources. The miniseries and series was eerily similar to the movie Independence Day that appeared about a decade later, only instead of dropping giant blue beams of antimatter that obliterated entire cities prior to stripping the planet of its resources, the aliens in question infiltrated our society by disguising themselves as humans and pretending to come in peace and goodwill.

The show failed of course, mostly because it was poorly written and acted, and was prohibitively expensive to produce. Not unlike NBC's previous Sci-Fi series Battlestar Galactica (the original series).

Nowadays, of course, hi-tech Sci-fi shows are easier and cheaper to make, mostly because of advances in digital technology.

But this does not change the fact that this new show is still a remake of a failed TV series that lasted less than one season, and only originated in the first place due to the minor success of two massive miniseries that were successes because there was little else to watch at the time.

I have long held this theory: Decades ago, at the dawn of Hollywood, thousands of writers, directors, producers, and other film and TV people created this giant vat full of ideas. As movies and TV shows were created, those ideas were drained out of this vat and used as necessary. And new ideas would be tossed into this vat by others, thus keeping the vat full.

But as more and more movies were made, and television went from four networks broadcasting eight hours a day to 400 networks broadcasting 24 hours a day, that massive vat of ideas got drained faster than it could be filled.

And then the ideas ran out. And the remakes began. Expect to see movie versions of Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, and Mork and Mindy within a decade.

I blame our education system for this. Our education system which has systematically cut funding to art and music education, which are the keys to stimulating imagination, which in turn is the key to creating new ideas.

Imagination has died here. When I was growing up, the books I read in elementary school envisioned a world where today we would be driving flying cars, colonizing other planets, and moving from one side of the planet to the other as easily as we walked across the street. Tell me: How much of that is true today?

It's Insidious

Yesterday, you the 3 readers of this blog read my report on the teabagger disruptions of the Town Hall meetings on health care reform.

I dismissed them as a lot of Sound and Fury and signifying nothing.

Today I'm not so sure.

You see, these disruptions are having a profound effect on the reporting of these events. Notice that I do not say the events themselves, but on the reporting of them.

Because at the many events that I am sure are being held around the country with no disruptions, there are no reports made of them. Because it's not sexy. It's not news. It's not something that will grab attention.

No, the disruptions of these events by the teabaggers are being reported because they make for great ratings.

Of course, the worst part is that the people who disrupt these meetings are utterly clueless to the fact that they are being manipulated by the corporate entities that are desperately trying to keep health care reform from being enacted in the first place. Sad, really.

You know, it is unfortunate that these sad people are getting so much attention. I am beginning to see eerie parallels forming between our nation and 1930's Germany. A minority party, using the tactics of fear and rhetoric, somehow managed to seize control of an industrial nation by taking advantage of the complacency of the working class. They hijacked the government and plunged the world into a war that it took decades to recover from. And it was all because good people stood by and did nothing.

So if any of you the 3 readers of this blog are at one of these meetings in the future, find one of these disruptors and stand next to him or her, and when he or she gets up to shout, start singing "We Shall Overcome". Hopefully, they will be so surprised that they will stop and sit down, if only in confusion if nothing else.

It's the only way we can overcome this threat.

The Teabaggers are Back!

Yes, folks, those crazy teabaggers are back again!

The tens of tens of people who protested the stimulus plan on April 15th are back, protesting at town hall meetings with members of Congress who are there to talk about the proposed health care reforms blundering their way through the government.

By the way, all I can say about Health care reform legislation is this: It's in the hands of Congress. God help us.

The strategy of the teabaggers is apparently this: Show up at the Town Halls, spread out as widely as possible, shout pre-arranged slogans designed to disrupt speakers, and generally cause as much distraction as possible. In other words, to paraphrase Shakespeare, Tales told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

You see, these people have no ideas of their own. They followed the teachings of a happy idiot for 8 years, and the world watched as this country fell deeper and deeper into a quicksand lake of economic ruin and destructive wars overseas, all while the rich elite who pulled the strings sat back and laughed as they got progressively richer.

And now that there is a man in office who is trying to fix all the problems caused by his predecessor, they can do nothing other than try to disrupt his planned reforms any way they can. Of course, they have no ideas of their own on how to fix things. That would require thought on their part, something for which they are not known for.

It's simple, really. These. People. Are. Idiots.

Swine Flu

Swine flu is horseshit.

There. I said it.

And yet, American and Global news agencies are crowing about this like it will cause the end of the world.

If the latest figures are to be believed (and I have serious doubts), then approximately 80,000 people around the world have contracted this particular strain of virus. 327 people in 121 countries have died from it.

Doing the math, that means that out of a population of approximately 6.7 billion people in the world, about .0001 % of them have contracted this virus. I didn't bother to calculate the percentage of people who died from it.

Global pandemic?! Pah! 6 times more people are killed by lightning strikes every year. Your odds are better of winning the lottery than catching this virus.

Granted, viruses have been known to mutate and become more deadly. But such viruses tend to die rather quickly, simply because they kill their victims too quickly to spread. Viruses that survive do so by becoming LESS deadly, because they don't kill quickly, or even at all. Most victims survive the flu, simply because the flu tends not to be fatal, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for the victim at the time. The ones who DO die are often the ones who are the most vulnerable: The old, the very young, the weak, the already sick, etc.

I have to believe that any super-virus that comes our way that destroys us will come out of a test tube in some madman's laboratory, and nothing we do will stop it. It's not going to come from a pig pen.

2012

This weekend, I went to see the new Transformers movie. I saw a trailer for 2012. The trailer, among other things, shows a series of global disasters that take place on or about December 21st, 2012. This, supposedly, is the end of the world, according to the Mayan Calendar, which does not go past this date.

Much has been made about the end of the world. Many Christians believe it will end with The Rapture. Most believe that God will end the world with all the righteous souls taken bodily into heaven, with the unworthy left behind to rot.

My own personal belief is that when and if the end of the world happens, it will be entirely of our own making. Perhaps by a virus, or a nuclear holocaust.

The fact is that I have real problems with thinking that the world will end on some predicted date because some Mayan astronomer 4000+ years ago decided to stop calculating dates that would occur 4000 years after he was dead.

Of course, 3 years and six months from now, give or take a few days, if I am proved wrong, well then boy will I have egg on my face. Except no one will be around to rub it in.

If I am right, I win. If I am wrong, I still win. Either way, I win!

Fear Once Again Raises its Ugly Head

President Obama (I never get tired of saying that) has nominated Sonja Sotomayor to replace retiring justice David Souter to the Bench.

This may be the most significant first decision made in the first days of the young administration. By all accounts, she is a moderate to liberal judge, who tends to err on the side of doing what's right by cases she hears--i.e. she tends to believe that if an injustice has been done, it is the duty of a judge to undue said injustice.

She may come by this attitude naturally: She was a Prosecuting attorney for years, and she has to know that both the state and the accused MUST be represented fairly.

But now she has an appointment with the Big Bench. And the Conservative fearmongering attack machine has geared up full force to fight her. Led, of course, by Rush "Bounce Bounce Bounce" Limbaugh.

They are using the tactics of fear: "She will ensure that no white person ever holds a position of authority again" "She will negate prostitution's illegality." "She will never support the right of a man to exercise control over a woman's body."

Never mind the fact that if the Democrats had any sort of a spine, they would ramrod her selection through the Senate without so much as consulting Republicans.

But hey, why should they do that? It's not like the Republicans did the same thing with the nominations of Chief Justice "I can't remember the words to the Presidential Oath of Office" Roberts or Justice "Scalito" Alito.

Oh, wait...

Indy

The Indianapolis 500 will start in a few minutes.

I can't say as I care much for the race itself. First of all, How anyone can derive any enjoyment from driving 500 miles and getting nowhere is beyond me. Second, the eventual outcome of the race is rarely in doubt. Typically the winner will be one of five individuals who win the majority of all the races in the season.

There is no suspense in the pits either. Unlike NASCAR races, all 4 tires can easily be changed at once on the cars, thus eliminating the decision of whether to change all four tires or only two at a time.

Not that I am a fan of NASCAR either, but still.

But what I do enjoy is the pageantry that takes place before the race. The National anthem. The Military flyover. The military ceremony (the race is on Memorial Day weekend). The singing of "Back Home Again in Indiana" (By Jim Nabors--never been able to explain that one). And the words, "Gentlemen: Start your engines!"

It almost makes me wanna watch the race. Almost.

Dick. Cheney.

Is. An. Asshole.

OK, so let's examine the track record of the Cheney/Bu--er, Bush/Cheney administration.

1) Allowed, through a series of intelligence blunders, the worst terrorist attack on American soil in history to happen.
2) Used said attack to justify the invasion of a country that had NOTHING to do with said attack.
3) Prolonged that invasion into an occupation that caused that country to degenerate into a cesspool of violence and destruction that claims the lives of American troops on almost a daily basis.
4) Completely ignored the TRUE planner of that attack.
5) Shredded the Constitution, and removed all restrictions on Federal surveillance of American citizens, in the name of "preserving freedom"
6) Imprisoned hundreds of people in a specially constructed prison without charges, trial, or any means of due process whatsoever.

And the Obama administration is the threat to national security?!!

Susan Boyle

For those of you who have been living in a cave for the last 2 months, you should know that Susan Boyle is the surprise contestant who appeared on Great Britain's version of "American Idol", and wowed everyone, including the judges, the audience, and just about everyone who has an internet connection with her stunningly talented voice. Seriously. This woman has a voice that would make Lena Horne, Maria Callas, and Renee Fleming sit down and cry.

The trouble with this woman is this: She looks like, not to put too fine a point on it, she took a nose dive out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Oh, this just in: I'm a shallow, insensitive prick sometimes. Deal with it.

As a result, no one took her seriously. Not the judges, and certainly not the audience. Until they heard her sing.

Nowadays, everyone knows who she is and what she can do.

But it won't last.

Let's face facts: This woman is never going to go on a concert tour. She is never going to star in a series of movies. She will never be featured in a music video. She will fade back into obscurity, simply because there are too many people who don't like how she looks.

Okay, so I get that today's society is obsessed with looks. (Let me say at this point that there is a good reason I don't have any pictures of myself on this blog.) It's the price we pay in today's 24/7 media obsessed world. Nobody likes to look at ugly people, no matter how talented they may be.

Don't believe me? I will make a bet with you the 3 readers of this blog: A year from now, ask any ten people you know who Susan Boyle is. If you get anything but a blank look, I'll give you a dollar.

Star Trek

I have just seen the new Star Trek movie. Not to give too much away, but it does involve stripping away nearly the entire Roddenberry Universe and starting over from scratch. Seriously. Roddenberry's ashes must be spinning in his grave.

In the process, of course, the groundwork has been laid for a whole new series of movies, and maybe even a new TV series. This movie is an attempt, in other words, to attract a whole new generation of Star Trek fans. To attract the "Twitter" generation.

The movie also employs the time-travel/Alternate reality theory. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, let me cite an extreme example: Suppose a time traveler went back in time to 1939 and supplied the Nazis with the designs and lists of materials needed for the Atom bomb. Nazi Germany conquers the world in days. Our world is changed forever.

This scenario, and variations of it,has been explored at length in any number of movies, TV shows, and books, from Back to the Future to It's a Wonderful Life. They even dealt with a variation of it in the original Star Trek series ("City on the Edge of Forever") and in Star Trek: The Next Generation (Yesterday's Enterprise)

Of course you always run into the problem of the time-travel paradox as well. For example: The grandfather paradox. You travel back in time. You happen to meet your own grandfather. You have a violent argument. You kill him. Thus you will have never been born. But if you were never born, how do you travel back in time to kill him?

Of course both can happen at once. Take this: A man travels back in time. He hands the lookouts on the Titanic binoculars. They see the iceberg in time to warn the bridge. The ship never hits the iceberg and never sinks. No movie is ever made about it. As good as it Gets rightly wins Best Picture that year. However, as a result of the safe voyage, the time-traveler's great-great grandmother never meets his great-great grandfather on the ship that would have rescued her. Thus, the time traveler is never born. But if so, how did he go back in time to save the ship?

It's usually at this point where my head explodes.

But in this new movie, they have taken the concept to the extreme level. The alternate reality and the time paradox theories have taken the Gene Roddenberry Star Trek universe out into the courtyard, tied it to a post, given it a blindfold and a cigarette, and executed it with a full firing squad.

It will be interesting to see what comes next.

Banning cell phones

A small town in my area is contemplating a ban on the use of cell phones while driving.

I have to say that I have mixed feelings on the subject.

I use my cell phone on occasion when I drive, but I always use a hands-free device--a bluetooth or other similar device.

I've been driving since I was 15. I haven't had an accident (knock on wood) in nearly 18 years. I'm a good driver. And I am fully capable of talking into a bluetooth earpiece while maintaining awareness of my surroundings.

I am also fully aware that there are people who are not capable of such awareness. I see them on the road nearly every day. Some of them have nearly hit me.

So this is my proposal: Instead of an outright ban on cell phone use while driving, do this instead: give everyone a new driving test.

Just like everyone took when they first got their drivers' licenses, make everyone take a supervised test. Give an instructor your cell number, then have him or her call you and engage you in a spirited conversation while you perform a basic driving test supervised by another instructor. If you are able to pass it while talking, you will be allowed to use your phone while driving.

And I think that using a handheld phone while driving should be forbidden, plain and simple. With the wide variety of hands-free devices cheaply available nowadays, there is no excuse for not using one while driving.

If anyone can think of a simpler solution, I am open to suggestion.

Live Action Comic Series

There have been a number of movie series that have come out in the past few years. These movie series are, in no particular order: X-Men, Spider-Man, Transformers, Fantastic Four, and The Hulk.

(I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm not gonna link to those! I'm not your search engine!)

Most of these movies have been made possible by the advent of highly advanced CGI animation, which has made it possible for comic books to come to "real" life.

But what has made them even more possible has been the movement of my generation into what is called the "Money Demo", the coveted 18-49 year old age group that traditionally has the most money to spend.

You see, I came of age watching the various animated TV series that were created from the comics mentioned above. I had such a hardcore geek love for all of them that I never missed an episode. And now, as I am an adult, I am now experiencing those same series being made into live movies.

And I can't get enough of them.

Apparently there are a few folks in Hollyweird who still know what they are doing. That gives me a bit of hope.

Leave it to Fox

Four out of the five major TV networks covered tonight's press conference by President Obama.

Guess which one didn't.

That's right. Fox.

I'm not talking about Fox News channel. It's a given that any news channel HAS to cover a presidential PC in order to maintain any semblance of credibility. I'm talking about the Fox television network.

They chose, instead, to show an episode of their series "Lie to me". I've watched a few episodes of this series. I wasn't all that impressed. And, judging by it's ratings, not a whole lot of other people are either.

So, basically, Fox believes people would rather watch a poorly rated TV series than the President of the United States answering important questions.

They are quite dumb.

Grocery shopping

Today I went shopping for Groceries at both Costco and Kroger.

I go to Costco about once a month to stock up on non-perishables that I consume on a regular basis, and I go to Kroger about once a week to buy perishables and other stuff I run out of regularly.

I don't know if anyone who reads this has ever been to Costco, but if you haven't, let me try to describe it. For an annual fee, you can enter a shopping warehouse the size of four football fields, filled with every product imaginable, from fresh fruit to batteries to soda pop to lawn fertilizer to frozen dinners, and everything there is in between. EVERYTHING is sold in bulk. You cannot buy anything in small quantities. The store also has a full pharmacy, a photo lab, an optometrist, a tire store, and a cell-phone retailer inside.

The biggest danger that comes from shopping there is that you might buy too much. I often do, but I have never failed to use everything I bought there. It may take a few years, but it gets used.

Kroger, by the way, is no slouch. You can buy nearly everything there as well, but you can usually get it in much smaller quantities, which is why I buy my perishables there.

You may be asking what my point is in all this. Well, Sparky, my point is this: We live in a nation of abundance. At any given hour, on any given day, in just about any place in this country, we can go to any grocery store or retail store and buy anything we need or want.

It was not always thus. In fact, this situation has only come to be within my lifetime. When my parents were born, they had no opportunity to do this. If they needed or wanted something that wasn't available, they simply did without.

I have to wonder how long our current situation will last. We as a species are facing a rapid depletion of our natural resources, a depletion that is destined to occur far faster than our current ability to replace them.

Hopefully, someone soon will be able to find a solution to this problem.

If they can't then God help us all.

A Sad Anniversary

Those of you the three readers of this blog may or may not remember that April 19th (yesterday) was the anniversary of the Oklahoma city bombing.

I was at home when it happened. I had come off a night shift at the current crappy job I was working, and I was sound asleep when it happened. I was deeply contemplating quitting said crappy job. Too many night shifts in horrible working conditions, with low pay and no benefits.

So, when I woke up, I turned on my TV. I saw what had happened. I watched, stunned, as did most of the rest of the nation, and a large portion of the world.

Over the next few days, I saw in the coverage the picture of fireman Chris Fields carrying the body of Baylee Almon from the wreckage. The man's face is shrouded in shadow and we cannot see the expression on his face clearly, but I cannot begin to imagine what he must have been thinking as he carried that tiny, burned, bloodied, broken body from the wreckage. The photographer who took it won a Pulitzer Prize for it, and it has come to be the defining image of this tragedy.

And I remember thinking to myself that, no matter how crappy my job was, at least my job would never require me to do anything like carrying the body of a one year old dying toddler from the wreckage of a destroyed building.

It's things like that that can really give you a renewed sense of perspective.

Two Teabags Please! (pt. 2)

I watched Rachel Maddow's coverage of the Teabaggers. She was barely able to contain herself.

What was the Genesis of this event?, I wonder.

"Hey, the Boston Tea Party. We are anti-tax. TEA. Tax. Enough. Already. No, no. TAXES Enough Already. No, no. TAXED Enough Already. Yeah! Let's go teabag them!"

If there was ever a more graphic demonstration of how out of touch the Republican party was with modern society, it is today. I mean, come ON! I'm a forty-one year old man who was raised by small-town parents, and I know what tea-bagging means. And please, to the single reader of this blog, PLEASE don't look it up on the web--oh, to hell with it. Look it up. If there was ever a time when the whole nation is going to know what this term means, it is now.

Laughing. Harder. Than. Ever.

Two Teabags Please!

Today, on tax deadline day, the right wing blogosphere has created an astroturf movement calling for millions of folks to protest the Obama stimulus plan by holding T.E.A. parties (Taxed Enough Already). To (snicker) protest (chortle) the plan (LAUGH UPROARIOUSLY OUT LOUD!) by "teabagging"!

For those 2 readers of this blog who know what teabagging means, please insert your own joke here. For the other reader, please, in the name of all that is Holy, don't ask, and for the love of God don't look it up on the web--you'll be in for a very unpleasant surprise.

We had our own little protest outside my workplace today. Here's a picture, taken from the window of my office:



Quite a crowd, eh? There must be at least 70 people! Most of the folks in the crowd looked like they were unemployed, meaning that they don't pay taxes at all. And they were there for about 20 minutes. But hey, in their defense, it was cold and rainy (not an unusual thing in April in the midwest.)

MSNBC, CNN, and others have had no end of fun with the "teabaggers". They are led by Dick Armey! Fox has blown a load of money! The movement could get too testy! It might blow up in their face!

I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Saving TV shows

I just read an article on 10 TV shows that need to return next fall. I have to say that I agreed with most of their choices (but definitely NOT all of them). And I'd add a few of my own to the list, if I could.

My problem is this: TV shows live or die by the Nielsen ratings, a system developed back in the 1950's whereupon approximately 1500 homes would receive boxes that would record the TV viewing choices daily, and thus these people would decide which TV shows lived or died. There were also the so-called "Sweeps" when in certain months thousands of homes would receive diaries, in which they would record TV viewing choices during peak months.

There are any number of complaints about the antiquity of this system. Not the least of which is that it was designed to measure TV viewing when there were 4 networks, not 400. The second biggest complaint is that people are often inclined to falsify the diaries, with people claiming to watch "Masterpiece Theater" when they are in fact watching "Rock of Love" (Don't even get me started.) There is also the complaint that it cannot measure internet TV viewing, which is becoming more and more frequent, especially given the variety of devices that can now display TV.

The Nielsens have been responsible for cancellation of a number of shows I felt deserved better. Just to name a few at random, in no particular order: "Firefly", "Las Vegas", "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip", "Commander-in-Chief", "Dharma and Greg", "Joan of Arcadia", "Sports Night", "Ed", "Action", "Titus", "Rodney", and "Eli Stone".

(Look, I'm not gonna link to all those. I'm not your damn search engine!)

Those of you who recognize the above shows may realize that, with a few exceptions, they were all aimed at persons with above average IQ's. Almost all of them were well-written, well-acted (OK, OK, I liked "Las Vegas" for the hot women), and actually left their viewers waiting for what came next.

The problem is that with so many viewing choices, the advertisers cannot depend on the Nielsen ratings to determine if a show lives or dies. There has to be a new way of determining this. The new Fox show "Dollhouse", created by Joss Whedon, was created as a late season replacement and has been on for only 8 episodes, and has been dropped into the Friday night TV graveyard. And yet it already has its own fan-created wiki site, with over 100 articles on it, entirely written by viewers of the show (which are obviously numbered in the thousands).

We. Need. Something. New.

Life on Mars is Over

The TV series "Life on Mars" ended an hour ago.

I was a fan. I watched, and waited, while the writers struggled to create an explanation for why a modern-day NYPD detective was suddenly transported to NYC in 1973 after being hit by a car.

It turned out that the cancellation of the series was announced soon enough that they were able to write an ending to the show that they thought would be plausible.

It turns out that the main character of the show was an astronaut, in suspended animation, part of the first manned mission to Mars. and the "co-workers" in his world were his fellow astronauts, headed there too. They were all in their own computer-generated virtual reality fantasies, and the main character's was interrupted by a meteor strike (the car crash).

ABC advertised this series finale as "shocking".

I described it another way.

Laughable.

Seriously. I laughed for ten minutes after it was over.

You are a writer on a show. You have been informed that it is canceled. You do not try to come up with a rational explanation for a mystery that is set to evolve over the next 5 seasons.

You walk away. And you hope that there will be enough outrage among the fans of the show that someday you will be able to bring it back as a late season replacement (please see previous blog entry).

Cupid

Tomorrow (3/31/09) a series called "Cupid" will premiere on ABC.

The premise of the show is that an institutionalized mental patient claiming to be the fallen Greek God Cupid must match 100 Earthbound couples using only the abilities he possesses as a human being. This he must do in order to return to the Pantheon of Mt. Olympus.

My problem with that is that its been done.

This show was a series 11 years ago.

It was a first run show then. It's a replacement show now.

Don't believe me? Check this out.

I liked this show. When it was on TV 11 years ago. Mostly because I was and still am a great fan of Jeremy Piven, who played the title character, and who is, in my opinion, one of the most unappreciated actors in Hollywood.

The problem was that this show died. A horrible death. As have many shows before and after.

And now it's being resurrected. With not a shred of new premise.

It is official. Hollywood has run out of ideas.

There is no Limit...

To how low AIG will stoop.

AIG, currently the most hated brand name in America today, has committed itself to going the distance in the hated marathon.

Apparently, AIG has REMOVED THEIR LOGO AND NAME from their main headquarters building.

Seriously. What. Were. They. Thinking?

This isn't like Philip Morris changing its name to Altria to try to make people forget their primary business is making cigarettes. This isn't like Kentucky Fried Chicken changing its name to KFC to de-emphasize the word "Fried". No. This is the most hated company in America trying to enter its own version of the witness protection program.

Let's all try to shine the light on this. They can run, but they can't hide!

Blogging the press conference (2), pt 2

More translation of what Obama is really saying:

8:38 PM: "Hey, lets try WORKING with our allies for a change, instead of DICTATING to them! Another refreshing concept!"

8:43 PM: "Let's try giving the ordinary people the same tax breaks as the rich people, just to shake things up a bit. How about that?"

8:47 PM: "Yeah, please, ask me a race question. Never mind that our economy is in the shitter, and I've spent every waking moment of my presidency so far trying to fix it. Seriously, are you people nuts?"

8:48 PM: "Leave it to a Neocon paper (The Washington Times) to ask a pandering question (Stem cells). But in answer to your question: This research has the potential to make people well. Why are you f&%kheads opposed to it?!"

8:52 PM: "Why is it always the foreign correspondents who are the only ones who ask about issues outside of North America? Have you people forgotten about the rest of the world?"

OK folks, I'm out.

Blogging the press conference (2), pt 1

My translations of what he is telling the press tonight.

8:20 PM: "OK, repeat after me: I DID NOT cause the current fiscal crisis, and I inherited these problems from the previous administration. I am trying to fix it! Get the hell off my back!"

8:22 PM: "Health care costs a LOT! We need to fix that!"

8:25 PM: "I can't wave a wand and magically fix everything overnight! Give me a break! And maybe a little time."

8:27 PM: "I'm having enough trouble fixing the problems in THIS country! Now you want me to fix Mexico's problems too?!"

8:35 PM: "You don't like government spending?" So what is the alternative? Doing nothing? We tried that for 8 years. Look where it's gotten us."

8:37 PM: "I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak. Isn't that a refreshing concept?"

Watchmen

I have seen Watchmen

I have read Watchmen

I am impressed.

It cannot be easy to faithfully adapt what may be the most popular graphic novel of all time to the movie screen.

The original was a 12 chapter, 400+ page graphic novel, with complicated text inter-chapter expositional sidestories. The movie did a fairly good job of relating these sidestories with the opening title screens, set all to the tune of Bob Dylan's "The Times, they are a'changin'".

The rest of the movie was very faithful to the novel, with the few exceptions coming in places where it was necessary to make sure the movie wouldn' be rated NC-17 (NC-17 = Death at the box office in America--don't even get me started).

But then they fucked it up at the end.

I have to believe that the the movie might have been better received if it had been faithful to the original all the way through to the end credits. Fans of the novel would have been more positive, and the viewing public in general may have been willing to forgive the movie's foibles.

Instead, the film has met with mixed reviews and average box office scores.

My opinion is generally, "meh".

Yes, they were faithful to the original, and that was a good thing. The original novel was enormously exciting, to the point where I couldn't put it down. And I was breathless during most of the movie, right up until the end.

So how the hell did they fuck up the ending so badly?

Why am I asking?! Hollywood can fuck up anything.

Adventures with Air Travel and Big Brother.

I recently came into possession of a book by Steve Alten entitled "The Shell Game". It's a book that details, in no particular order, the impending oil crisis, Neocon plots to steal elections, faked terror strikes on American soil, global warming, and the excesses of the government under the USA PATRIOT act.

It is, of course, a work of fiction. But it's also just about the user's manual for every questionable crazy cook conspiracy theorist out there.

As I continued to read, I became thoroughly convinced that Mr. Alten was six kinds of crazy in hearts and spades.

However, recently I've re-thought my feelings.

Because I have traveled on a domestic flight.

Let me detail what happens with modern air travel:

First, you must check in. The size varies by airline, but generally if you are carrying any bags larger than 24 X 14 X 10, you must check them. Again, depending on the airline, you may pay up to $25 extra for checking the bag.

Second, you must then endure the security checkpoint. Please remove your shoes. Empty your pockets. Your carry-on baggage is subject to search, including childrens' backpacks and womens' purses. You have no choice in this matter. Turn on your laptop. Open your wallet. Do not object or resist. We know where you live. We know where your family lives.

Third, if you manage to make it past security (no liquids, sharp objects, medals of honor allowed) you may board the plane. Please not that this is far easier said than done. You see, most domestic carriers opt for the smaller, more fuel-efficient (if such a thing can be said about a commercial jetliner) planes to carry passengers, and they book their flights as full as possible.

They have also made the seats smaller. MUCH smaller. Legroom? Ha! I checked. There was not enough room to fit the aforementioned hardcover Steve Alten novel between the front of my seat and the back of the seat in front of me.

They have also stopped serving free non-alcoholic drinks. My father paid $3.00 for a 12 ounce can of cranberry juice. I didn't even ask how much alcohol cost, or if it was even available.

Then, we, the very definition of a captive audience, were subjected to a commercial announcement for the Airline's credit card.

Please notice that I have not mentioned the specific Airline in question. I don't want to be sued, or renditioned.

It would seem that everyone EXCEPT the air travel industry has realized that nothing like September 11th will ever happen again. After all, the cockpit doors are now sealed at all times. The only way a plane will ever be flown into a skyscraper again is if the pilot or pilots are in on the plot from the beginning.

And if that is the case, no amount of security will stop it.

The only reason for the increased security any more is to keep us like the cowed sheep we seem to have become.

Big Brother is watching.

Blogging the press conference, pt 5

On torture:
Torture IS illegal, we WILL follow the Geneva convention, and if you break the LAW, you WILL be held responsible.

On being held responsible:
For example, if you leak the name of a covert CIA agent to a Washington reporter because you didn't like what her husband said about you in an Op-Ed, you will be PROSECUTED FOR TREASON!!!

I'm just sayin'!

On the "bipartisanship":
(Paraphrasing) "We HAVE to do something, because the American people can't afford for us to do nothing. I'm getting tired of reaching out to Republicans who slap me in the face.

"And I'm getting REALLY tired of being lectured about responsible government by people who DOUBLED THE DEFICIT and who STARTED THE DAMN CRISIS IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

Well, folks, I'm not feeling well and I'm getting tired, so I'll sign off. I can't wait to see how the Right Wingnuts respond to this.

Blogging the press conference, pt 4

Good Lord! You mean Helen is still alive and kicking, and still asking presidents questions?

Blogging the press conference, pt 3

Wow, a president who actually ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS HE IS ASKED! What a concept. And he doesn't have to wait for Dick Cheney to whisper the answers into his earpiece.

Yes, I think they should start showing footage of the coffins coming home. People seem to have forgotten the human cost of these misguided wars. Maybe it's time to start reminding them of it again...


UPDATE (8:48 PM) Man, is it refreshing to finally have a President who is willing to not only admit he made a mistake but also to admit he has no idea what someone is talking about!

Blogging the press conference, pt 2

Wow, what a concept. It might be better for government to DO SOMETHING, rather than DOING NOTHING.

Gee, banks taking enormous risks with other peoples' money? The hell you say!

Blogging the press conference, pt 1

Pretty good opening statement. Telling folks what he's learned from talking to real Americans. I can't think of a better place to find them than in Elkhart.

8:15. OK, you need to shorten your answers. The answer took longer than the opening statement.

Update (8:25 PM EST): Seriously, you need to shorten your answers. And keep hammering home the fact that you INHERITED this economic crisis. You DID NOT cause it. And you're bending over backwards to WORK WITH REPUBLICANS to try and fix it!

Keep telling these people you're WORKING TO FIX THE PROBLEM!

Do Not Separate.

So. Gay marriages have been outlawed by the conservatives in California. Possibly the most liberal state in this union.

Why?

What do these people have against it?

What is wrong with them?

Do they really think that gay marriage is destroying traditional family values in this country? How is that possible, when their most recent presidential candidate divorced his first wife in order to marry his mistress?

Family Values?! Scoff!

My mom and dad were married for over 40 years, and they produced 2 fine children. In the time they were married, they were exposed to at least 3 gay couples that I know of, and God knows how many more I don't know of. Not once did either of them say, "hey, that looks like fun! I'm gonna try that!"

Gay marriage is not going to destroy values in this country. Not any sooner than anything else.

Please don't get me wrong. I think homosexuality is repellent in every way (except when 2 hot girls are going at it :)) But it's not my decision to regulate how people behave. Nor is it anyone else's.

The Capital Clampetts

So. Tom Daschle has withdrawn his name for consideration for Cabinet Secretary of Health and Human Services. He joins a steadily lengthening list of potential Obama appointees who have fallen by the wayside.

It seems to me that the early days of the Obama administration are going the way the early days of the Clinton administration did: Potential cabinet appointees dropping like flies, legislation getting redrawn repeatedly, blunder after blunder being splashed all over the "liberal media".

Well, Clinton was able to endure the mistakes, and he emerged from the mess to be one of the strongest Presidents we've seen lately. And he did it in the face of a hostile opposition Congress that ended up impeaching him for cheating on his wife--apparently a much worse crime than starting an unjust war and occupation of a foreign country, letting an entire city drown in a hurricane, and flushing the entire Bill of Rights down the toilet.

The difference between the Bush administration and the Obama administration, however, is that Obama is not afraid to admit he made mistakes. So, while as with any new Presidential administration, there are a few bumps and bruises while the President leaps onto the rapidly moving roller coaster that is a White House during wartime, I have high hopes that President Obama will be able to shake off these first few punches and get down to the business of lifting our country out of the shambles it is in.

If he can't then God help us.

Memo to Democrats:

STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE STILL THE MINORITY PARTY!

I know it may be hard, after 8 years of total Republican control over everything, but knock it off!

You people are acting like a bunch of battered women who refuse to stand up to the men that have been battering them. You are not the minority any more. You have commanding control over both houses of Congress, and a President who is more than willing to sign the legislation you send him.

I realize that partisanship has divided Washington for almost a decade. There's a reason for that. That reason is that the Republicans responded to all of your input with a message that basically amounted to "Sit down and shut up!"

It's time to return the favor.

It's time to let them know what it feels like to be on the losing side for a change. It's time to let them hear the voice of the people. It's time to be strong.

Just don't forget the people who got you where you are. Do that, and you'll end up where the Republicans are now.

Who are These People?

After my post of a day ago about The Dark Knight being robbed of its deserved Oscar nods, I've had a chance to read up on some of the takes of the year's films by the so-called "respected critics" that populate our culture.

I have to ask: Who the F&*K do these people think they are?!

For some reason, these people think they are better than the average moviegoer. Why?

Because they have been published? Please! I've had 3 letters to the editor published in my local newspaper. Believe me, that doesn't make me any more special than the kooks that have been published lately.

Because they are on TV? People get featured on TV every Saturday night. On a show called COPS. It is nothing to brag about, believe me.

Because they receive free passes to local premieres? I've been to local premieres for free thanks to promotional tickets I've won. Big Deal.

Because they are "members of the media"? I am a member of "the media". I publish an on-line blog that is read by maybe 3 people. Again, big deal.

My qualifications as a critic are the same as any other movie critic, in a newspaper, on-line, or on television. Zero. And my opinion is as valid as theirs. The only difference between me and them is that a few more people will see their opinion than mine. It doesn't mean they are better critics than me. It just means that more people will see their reviews than me.

Which matters not one bit to me.

Robbed!

So. The Oscar nominations were announced. So how many of the major categories is The Dark Knight nominated for? One! A measly one nod for Best Supporting Actor for the late Heath Ledger.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy he was nominated. I'm ecstatic he was. And I'm sure he'll win.

Let's face it: It can't be easy to take a character from a 2-dimensional cartoon drawing and turn it into a 2-hour 3-dimensional performance. Jack Nicholson did a good job in the original Batman movie, playing the character much darker than it had been before, with just the right touch of violence. But his character was still largely cartoonish in nature, and somewhat comedic, and you never took his scenes too seriously.

That was NOT the case with Ledger's Joker. His portrayal stripped away all traces of the comic book. There was nothing to laugh about here. His Joker was an anarchic agent of chaos and death, uninhibited by rules of either law or society. His Joker would just as casually shoot you as look at you. And, unlike the Jokers of the past, Batman could not defeat this Joker, not as long as he held fast to his own rules. In the end, the only way Batman can beat him is to sacrifice his own reputation.

But Ledger's performance was not the only thing to admire in this movie. There were excellent performances elsewhere as well. Christian Bale has, for me, become the character of Batman. Michael Keaton did an adequate job in the first two movies, but his performances could not match the sheer intensity portrayed on-screen by Bale in both of the latest movies. Val Kilmer? Forget about it! George Clooney? Two words: Bat. Nipples.

Aaron Eckhart also did well as Harvey Dent/Two-Face. His fall from shining white knight to murderous disfigured vigilante was easily believable. And Maggie Gyllenhaal did a much better job than Katie Holmes. I know Katie hails from my hometown (Toledo, in case you were wondering) but she just doesn't have the talent. Sorry Katie. Gary Oldman as Lieutenant/Police Commissioner Gordon does well in a largely thankless role as an honest cop trying to play by the rules pitted against an enemy who has no rules. And As far as Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are concerned, well, by my count they have 11 academy award nominations and 3 wins between them. 'Nuff said.

And the direction is spectacular! Many of the scenes in this film were shot using IMAX equipment, so the visuals are stunning. (I never managed to see an IMAX version of this film, unfortunately, something I hope to correct at some point in the future.) The movie itself, while over 2 hours long, never drags or lacks for action or suspense. And when a movie can make a theater full of people sit in stunned silence no less than four times (by my count), you know it is effective.

But, like all summer blockbusters, the movie was robbed of the Oscar nods it deserves. Oh sure, it got its share of nominations for the less prestigious categories: Editing, make-up, sound editing, etc. (And it should win the make-up category hands down based on Two-face's make-up alone), but those are minor in comparison.

Oh well. I can console myself with the fact that the movie swept nearly every category in the People's Choice awards. For my money, those are the REAL Oscars, since the winners of those awards often tend to out-earn the Oscar winners by a factor of 5 to 1, or more.

And the producers of the movie can console themselves by sleeping on the huge piles of money they made off the second-highest grossing film in box office history.

Ladies and Gentlemen...

The 44th President of these United States:



Please note that is was Roberts who got the oath wrong initially, NOT Obama!

Diving Headfirst Down the Slippery Slope

Recently, the Supreme court ruled that evidence against a man could not be excluded because the evidence was obtained in a bad search. In this case, the suspect was pulled over because the arresting officer had been told--erroneously--that there was a warrant for the suspect's arrest outstanding.

It was, according to the police, a computer error. An innocent mistake.

An. Innocent. Mistake.

Huh.

So. I'm sure the proof was there. I'm sure the evidence was secure. I'm sure all the ducks were in a row.

This time.

The U.S. Supreme court, under the command of an ultra-conservative chief justice, has just set this country on a rocket sled down the slippery slope towards a police state.

How long before there are more "innocent mistakes"? How long before more "computer errors" happen? How long before the requirement of a search warrant is dropped altogether?

Think it will never happen? I'll bet you never thought the rules against evidence obtained illegally would be dropped...

Why I am a Union Member

This is a relatively simple post defining why I am a member of an Organized Labor Union.

I believe in the labor union for one simple reason: it is the antidote to fascism.

You see, a fascist government relies on the complete cooperation of every sector to maintain its hold over the people. A fascist government already controls the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of that government, if they even exist.

A fascist government controls the media. The whole idea of a free press is an unknown.

A fascist government controls all business. The few businesses that are not state-controlled are headed by cronies under the thumb of the government.

The only aspect of a civilization that cannot be easily controlled by the government is the workforce. And if that workforce is organized, it can wield a power that cannot be controlled by any government. That is why organized labor is the only antidote to fascism. And that is why labor unions have been fought for decades by governments, corporations, and the media.

You see, if the workforce of any group of people is united under one voice that represents THEIR interests, and no one else, then there is no force, either governmental, judicial, corporate, religious, or other institutional form of control that can stand against them.

That is why Labor unions are feared.

That is why they have been fought so hard.

That is why they must NEVER be destroyed.

2008 in review

I know I'm a couple of days late with my (sorta) traditional year-end year in review post. I could say I was busy, but I've really just been too lazy to get it done.

So here we go. Where to start? Ah yes...

Best Moment of 2008: President-elect Barack Obama.
Runner up: Watching George W. Bush ducking shoes thrown at him by an angry Iraqi reporter.

Worst moment of 2008: 700$ BILLION dollars given, no questions asked, to the banking industry.
Runner up: Almost NOTHING given to the American Automakers, who have contributed far more to this country than the banking industry

Best Sports-related moment of 2008: OSU 42, Michigan 7. 'Nuff said.
Runner up: Detroit Red Wings: 2008 Stanley Cup Champions.

Worst Sports-related Moment of 2008: LSU 38, OSU 24. Again, 'nuff said.
Runner up: Detroit Tigers AND Toledo Mud Hens both finish at the bottom of their respective divisions.

Best Movie of 2008: The Dark Knight. Possibly one of the best ever.
Runner up: Iron Man

Worst Movie of 2008: Doomsday. Seriously. When the high point (or possibly low point) of a movie is one of the heroes being barbecued alive, well, that should've been a clue... Oh, and by the way, what the heck was the deal with the medieval knights? Little tip, guys: A bullet is always gonna beat a suit of armor!

Runner Up: The Incredible Hulk. OK, so this movie wasn't as bad as Ang Lee's Hulk movie, but come on. That's like saying being shot in the foot isn't as bad as being shot in the gut...

Movie that disappointed me most: Hellboy 2. Seriously. Ron Perlman was so good in the first one, but it seemed like he was just phoning it in this time. I guess maybe if he'd had another decent script to work with...
Runner-up: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. OK, it was a great movie--right up until about the last 10 minutes or so. Seriously, WTF?

Movie I wish I'd seen in 2008: Wall-E. For some reason, I can never bring myself to go to see a Pixar movie in a theater. That's something I need to get over, considering the number of perfect Gems they've put out so far.

Movie I'm glad I DIDN'T see in 2008: Speed Racer. By all accounts, this movie sucked dirty ass water.
Runner-up: Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Seriously. George. Buddy. Time to give the franchise a rest. Go back to your ranch and sleep on your huge piles of money.

Thing I'm most proud of from 2008: Still having a job.

Thing I'm least proud of from 2008: Still have a dead-end job.

Thing I'm most looking forward to in 2009: The administration of President Barack Obama.
Runner-up: X-Men: Origins

Thing I'm LEAST looking forward to in 2009: My next eye exam. Can't wait to see just how badly my eyesight is degrading.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Here's to 2009. May it be better than 2008 (nowhere to go but up!)

My Favorite Christmas Hymn

As Christmas draws near, I would like to share with you, the 3 readers of this blog, what my favorite Christmas hymn is and why it is.

Title: Once in Royal David's City
Full number of verses: 6
Usually sung: At the beginning of the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols on Christmas eve, as a processional.

It begins, with a single soprano (most effective if it is a well-trained boy soprano from a boys choir) intoning the first verse a cappella:

Once in royal David's city
Stood a lowly cattle shed,
Where a mother laid her baby
In a manger for His bed:
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ her little child.

The choir joins in for the second and third verses, also usually sung a cappella:

He came down to earth from heaven,
Who is God and Lord of all,
And His shelter was a stable,
And His cradle was a stall;
With the poor, and mean, and lowly,
Lived on earth our Savior Holy.

And through all His wondrous childhood
He would honor and obey,
Love and watch the lowly Maiden,
In whose gentle arms He lay:
Christian children all must be
Mild, obedient, good as He

At this point, the congregation and organ will usually join in for the 4th and 5th verses:

For He is our childhood's pattern;
Day by day, like us He grew;
He was little, weak and helpless,
Tears and smiles like us He knew;
And He feeleth for our sadness,
And He shareth in our gladness.

And our eyes at last shall see Him,
Through His own redeeming love;
For that Child so dear and gentle
Is our Lord in heaven above,
And He leads His children on
To the place where He is gone.

And then sometimes a trumpet will join in on a descant, or, if not, the soprano section will take on that role, for the sixth and final verse.

Not in that poor lowly stable,
With the oxen standing by,
We shall see Him; but in heaven,
Set at God's right hand on high;
Where like stars His children crowned
All in white shall wait around.

It takes a very good choir director, with a well-trained choir, to get the full effect of this hymn, but if it is there, then by the end the entire church is ringing with the joyful strains of it. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. And I can't think of a more joyous way to celebrate the birth of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

Sorry, folks, I didn't mean to preach. I don't usually get so sentimental (as you've probably realized) but at this time of year, I think we all need to rejoice and celebrate the season. Be grateful for family, friends, and good cheer, and have a very merry Christmas!

Oh, and you can see a very good performance of it here:

I LOVE this!

I could watch this over and over...and over...and over!

Nice reflexes there, Duhbya!

Words Cannot Begin to Describe...

...how pissed off I am at the Republican Senators.

These are the senators who blame the union workers for the woes of the big three. I defy any of these Senators to stand--yes, STAND--on an assembly line 8 hours a day, 5, 6, or even 7 days a week, doing the same thing over and over and over and over, all day, every day, and then claim they are overpaid for the work they do.

These are the senators who blame the retired auto workers who are suffering from innumerable health problems caused by those same working conditions, and who face rapidly dwindling health benefits for ever-increasing costs.

These are the senators who didn't so much as ask a question before giving 700 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS to the banking industry to bail them out, over half of which has already been spent, with little or no apparent result.

And these are the senators who have the unmitigated gall to blame the union workers for the woes of the American auto industry. The same union workers who are fighting tooth and nail to hang on to the few hard-won rights they still have left, while their rich CEO's fly private jets to Washington to ask for enough money to give themselves large Christmas bonuses while laying off thousands of those same workers.

Huh. Maybe words CAN describe it.

I don't claim to be an expert. I have no idea what will happen if one or more of the Big 3 goes down the tubes. But I do know that here in Toledo, Jeep (a Chrysler affiliate) is one of the largest employers in the area, and it supports dozens of subsidiary business. If Jeep goes, it will be a blow to this city from which it will never recover. And that blow will no doubt be accompanied by dozens of similar blows in other cities across the nation. It will cause a drop in our economy that will make The Great Depression look like a mild market downswing.

So now it falls to the President to do the right thing, and use some of the money from that $700 billion to prop up the auto industries before they collapse.

So here is your last chance, Mr. President. Your last chance to do something right. You are going to go down in history as one of the, if not THE, worst presidents ever. This is your last chance to prop up your legacy, to redeem yourself, if only a little bit. You have one final chance to be remembered for something good, after eight years of failed foreign and domestic policies.

Don't blow it.

Target MEN!

OK, so yesterday, I went to Target to find some clothes for myself.

I walked in.

I grabbed a shopping cart. I walked towards the back of the store.

I needed some clothes for myself. I walked past about a block's worth of womens' clothing.

I finally found the mens' department. It occupied about one quarter of one half of an aisle of a big block store.

I found 2 pairs of pants for myself and 2 sets of underwear I needed.

I wanted to find at least a short-sleeved dress shirt for myself. It wasn't there.

I realize that women shop for clothes a lot more than men. But it seems to me that it would be wise for Target to offer a lot more choices for men, if you have any wish for them to shop at your store!

Appeal Rejected

Well, I have appealed the cancellation of my google Ads account. That appeal has been rejected.

"Thanks for providing us with additional information. However, after
thoroughly reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into
consideration, we've re-confirmed that your account poses a significant
risk to our advertisers. For this reason, we're unable to reinstate your
account. Thank you for your understanding."

(Direct quote from the rejection e-mail)

My understanding? MY UNDERSTANDING?!

Please, if you can, understand a few things:

1) How, exactly, does donating the profits from clicks on Adsense ads pose a "significant risk to our advertisers"?

2) Just how "thoroughly" was my account data reviewed?

3) If you think MY feedback was bad, just wait until I tell everyone I know about this.

4) I can't make money off my own Adsense ads. When you start a google Ad account, the account records your URL address. And clicks from your own URL do not produce revenue. So if you thought the "risk" was from me clicking my own ads over and over, guess again!

I strongly encourage you, the 3 readers of this blog, to tell everyone you know just how full of crap Google is. And to NEVER use Google again. I certainly won't. From now on, if I need to do a search, I'm using Yahoo. Oh, and if you have Google ads on your own website (if you have one), I encourage you to take them off immediately. Significant risk? Let's SHOW them what a significant risk REALLY looks like!

Account Cancelled

It would seem that the Google Adsense people have a problem with revenues from their ads being donated to charity--specifically to the USO.

My Google adsense account has been cancelled.

There will no longer be any click ads available on this blog. I guess that they don't think that our armed forces deserve our support.

Draw your own conclusions.

Donation!

Hello to you, the 3 readers of this blog!

Please be aware that this night, Me, the author of this blog, has just donated $100 to the USO, thanks to the the fact that you, the readers of this blog, clicked enough on the google ads that I received a check from Google ads for clicks on the google ads to the right. By the way, the check was for $100.97, but I kept the extra $.97 for myself in case there are taxes due from this check. I really don't think that the 97 cents is going to make a big difference in the grand scheme of things.

I made a promise that all profits from clicks on those ads would be delivered to the USO. That promise has been kept. It will be kept in the future.

If you want to make your own donation to the USO, please go to www.uso.org/donate/custom.aspx

Oh, and keep clicking those Google ads. You can click the back button as soon as you do. and my account will still be credited. It's the easiest charitable thing you will ever do! Every penny (after taxes) WILL be donated to the USO.

Congratulations--And Beware!

Congratulations, my fellow democrats. We won. We kicked ass. We beat them like bad dogs. We crushed them like bugs. We sent them home crying to mama. Yes, that's even possible for McCain. (She's 96 years old but still kicking. That doesn't bode well for 2012...)

But I have just three words for all of you:

Don't. Get. Cocky.

I don't include myself in that admonition, primarily because I'm not going to. Get cocky, I mean.

I won't because I am aware that less than four years ago Republican pundits were crowing about a "permanent Republican majority". A lot can change in four years.

I won't because I know my history. In 1964 Barry Goldwater won 6 states in the presidential election, five of which were in the deep south and the sixth of which was his home state. Four years later, Richard Nixon--RICHARD NIXON!--was elected president. A lot can change in four years.

I won't because I know that if Ted Stevens wins his Senate seat, he will most likely be forced out, leaving Sarah "Doggone it!" Palin as the most likely prospect to take over his seat, leaving her with four years to establish her credentials as the new Republican frontrunner. A lot can change in four years.

I won't because I am a member of a Democratic party that couldn't beat George W. Bush--twice!

I won't because this president managed to install on the big bench 2 arch-conservatives who will likely be around for decades, and can easily undo any reforms instituted by a Democratic administration.

And finally, and most importantly, I won't because I know what can happen. Obama won on a campaign to change the way things are done in Washington, but the Washington establishment is well-entrenched, and changing it will be difficult, if not impossible, for him. There is also a lot that CAN'T change in four years.

So celebrate your victory, my fellow Dems, but do not ignore your history. And do not forget all those who made that victory possible. And, most importantly, do not crow too loudly about the "Death of the Republican party". It can take a lot of bullets to kill an elephant.

Things I Know.

There are a few things I know today.

1) There is at least one woman alive today who was the daughter of a slave who lived long enough to see a black man elected President of the United States.

2) We live in a world where there is a slim chance a news anchorperson will be able to say the words "Senator Al Franken" (not likely at this point, but stay tuned.)

3) I may or may not continue the Heartwarming Story Arc, based on the fact that Oliver Stone has already created a 2+ hour movie detailing the life of the current president. Sort of. By the way, if you were planning on seeing it, I have some advice: Save your money. We get that he had, and has, issues with his dad. We don't need a 2 hour movie exploration of the subject.

The 44th President

Ladies and Gentlemen:

The 44th President of the United States of America will be--Barack Hussein Obama.

Thank you.

What I've Been up to part 2

I wanted to keep going with my heartwarming story arc, but there have been so many things going on this close to the election, I had to take a break.

What has happened:

1) Sarah Palin spent over 5 and a half minutes being pranked by a French Canadian DJ
2) I received my first check for revenues from the Google Adsense ads for this blog. The donation to the USO is now on its way.
3) The Christian Childrens' Fund, to which my Dad is a longtime donor, decided to turn down a donation from Gen Con, a gamers' convention, because the money was donated by longtime players of Dungeons and Dragons. Because players of D & D are devil worshipers, I guess. By the way, I've played D & D. And yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial in nature. Oh, and the heads of CCF are completely off their rocker. But I can't be surprised by this. Fundamentalists have always been a part of the "ready, fire, aim" philosophy.

Hope to resume the story soon.

F@&K Sprint and the Horse They Rode in on!

Today, I switched cell providers from Sprint to Verizon.

I did this because my Sprint phone was broken, I was tired of having no bars in more places, and of seeing my bills regularly be about $30 a month more than I was told they would be when I first signed up with Sprint.

So, I went to the Sprint Pictures website, to retrieve all the pictures I had taken with my old phone.

Surprise surprise. My pictures were no longer available. And, upon calling Shi--Sprint cuntstomer service, I was informed that they no longer existed in any form whatsoever.

Bullshit.

I think they are merely pissed that I switched providers, and decided to hold my pictures hostage out of spite.

suffice to say that I will never be a customer of Sprint ever again, and I encourage you the 3 readers of this blog to drop Sprint if you have it and to tell all your friends to do the same.

Conventional wisdom tells businesses that it costs six times more to replace a customer than it does to keep them. Sprint has lost my business permanently. And they have lost the business of everyone else I know. This has been an expensive day for Sprint.

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 8)

Disclaimer: The following is entirely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Or is it?

So. George was now his party's candidate for KingofalltheLand. But how would he beat the beloved AlGore?

George's handlers had succeeded in creating the image for him of a down-home Texas country boy everyman. But his opponent, AlGore, was a highly popular former Vice KingofalltheLand.

However, he had been second to the dreaded BillClinton. The dreaded BillClinton had forever tarnished his reputation.

George's handlers created a multi-pronged strategy:

1) Work to link AlGore hand-in-hand with BillClinton.
2) Plaster lies about AlGore all over the media.
3) create a multi-pronged whisper campaign about AlGore, tying him to overseas donors and false claims.
4) Go negative early and often.

These tactics worked. Many voters in George's fanatical base followed him blindly. George was almost positive he would win the election.

But disaster struck! The AlGore had won a majority of the popular vote! What to do?!

Easy! Start disputing the election in the magical land of Florida! After all, get simply one state to switch and the election would go to George, despite his losing of the popular vote...

To be continued.

Go Obama!

Gotta take a break once again from my heartwarming story series and share with the 3 people who read this blog some pictures from Obama's visit to Toledo today.



Quite a crowd, eh?

Here's some pix of Obama.
(Sorry about the quality of the pix, but I was pretty far away!)





Of course, there's always an idiot on call...



BTW, to the idiot holding this sign up, you are welcome to me for blacking out your face. I didn't have to, but common courtesy made me do it. The same courtesy of which you are obviously completely unaware.

Seriously. Baby-murdering Muslims? Dude, here's a quarter. Buy a clue.

I might also add that if this asshat had showed up at a McCain event, he'd be in Guantanamo by now. The difference between their party and ours is they look to silence all dissent. We look to drown it out with cheering.

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 7)

Disclaimer: The following story is entirely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Or is it?

The great warrior JohnMcCain was a strong opponent for George. He was a decorated veteran who had served in the country's armed forces for years, and had spent 5 years being held captive by an enemy tribe during a period of war.

The great JohnMcCain was also known in political circles for being a "straight talker", someone who said what needed to be said, regardless of whether or not it was politically popular.

This was a strategy unheard of in politics! No one tells the truth in a political campaign--At least, NOT if you wanted to WIN!

But the strategy seemed to be working. Not only was support for JohnMcCain growing, he had won the first contest in the tiny province of NewHampshire. Coming next was the Province of SouthCarolina, which was expected to be another big win for the JohnMcCain, and would carry him forward to victory.

So George and his people pulled out their favorite weapon: the dreaded PushPoll!

All over SouthCarolina, potential voters would receive calls like this:

Caller: Hello! Are you a registered Republican?
Voter: Yes
C: Well, then, would you be more or less likely to vote for JohnMcCain if you knew that he had fathered an illegitimate child with a black woman?
V: Well...er...less likely, I suppose.

This reliable smear tactic caused the downfall of JohnMcCain, and catapulted George into the lead. George would go on to win the Republican nomination for KingofalltheLand.

But he faced a tough opponent in the popular Democratic candidate, the beloved AlGore...

To be continued...

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 6)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental (Really!)

So, George wanted to be KingofalltheLand.

But how could this be? He was a dumb, young, East coast liberal whose image had been remade by handlers. He was probably the most unqualified candidate his sect had ever produced.

That did not matter. What mattered was his pedigree. His father had held high office, so that meant he was automatically qualified to hold the same office, all logic to the contrary.

And so, the race began. George WOULD be KingofalltheLand. No matter that he was STAGGERINGLY unqualified for the job.

But there was a strong opponent: A man named JohnMcCain...

To be continued...

For the Love of Fuck, Grow a Spine!

If I may take a brief break from my heartwarming story arc and interject something campaign-related:

I have a message for all the members of the Traditional Media: Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, would you miserable, cowardly sheep grow a fucking collective spine?!!!

Republican Presidential candidate John McCain has selected as his Vice-presidential running mate a woman who is about as qualified to hold the second highest elected office in the country as I am.

She was the governor of a city in Alaska that has fewer people living in it than the town of Murphysboro, Illinois, where I lived for 5 years.

She is Governor of the state of Alaska, by population the fourth smallest state in the United states, and the least densely populated state.

It is probable that she has ties to the Alaskan Independence Party, a movement that favors Alaskan Secession from the U.S. (something that we fought a War over nearly 150 years ago.

She repeats in every speech the false claim that she refused the so-called "bridge to nowhere" when, in fact, she was strongly in favor of it right up until the point where it became politically untenable for her to continue to do so. By the way, Alaska kept the money earmarked for that bridge.

She is a strong proponent of abstinence-only sex education, when she has exhibit A of how that program DOESN'T work living under her own roof.

She claims to be a "maverick" who will "fight Washington" when, in fact, with Alaskan Senator Ted "King of Pork" Stevens, she has worked the Washington system to bring as much Federal money as possible to Alaska.

She is clueless when it comes to foreign policy.

And yet, even with all this, when the traditional media reveals these and other stories about her, the Republicans go snarling after them with cries of "liberal media bias". And the traditional media, instead of standing by the facts it has uncovered, cowers in the corner and says "We're sorry! Please don't hurt us!"

So I ask the media to grow a collective spine for once. When Republican attack dogs go after you and call you liberal, calmly reply to them, "These are the facts. They are unassailable. You cannot change them simply by repeating lies over and over."

Yeah. That's gonna happen.

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 5)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental (Really!)

Chapter 5: The King of Texas

George was now the King of Texas, a prime stepping stone to becoming Kingofalltheland. He was the established favorite of the conservative, so-called "family values" voter, even though he stood in favor of everything that was against everything these "value voters" stood for--compassion for your fellow man, kindness, generosity, and favoring the weak against the strong. In other words, he was against everything these voters had supposedly been taught by their religion.

But no one seemed to notice! The facade established for George by his handlers was impenetrable! And, while king of Texas, he executed more of his subjects than any other king prior to his reign. He gutted the kingdom's education system, auctioned off control of its agencies to private business, and worked to increase his own fortune at the expense of his subjects.

Through it all, the image of the down-home Texas boy was rigorously maintained. George remained the "man of the people" even as the "people" obliviously suffered under his reign, while businesses grew rich off his policies.

But being King of Texas was not enough for George! Like his father, George wanted to be Kingofalltheland. So he gathered around him the same political team that had remade his political image. The time had come. George was ready to follow in his father's footsteps, even if they were far too big for him. That didn't matter, though. This team had remade a drunken, spoiled, East-coast child of privilege into a down-home Texas country boy. Surely, it would be no problem for them to do the same for a candidate for KingofalltheLand...

(to be continued)

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 4)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental (Really!)

Chapter 4: The First Steps

Now that George had remade his image as being that of the fabled Everyman, it was time to run for office as King of the land of Texas.

It would not be hard. George's credentials had been established. He was the good old down home Texas boy. He was a rancher. He was a man of the People. He was for conservative "family values". He would protect the rights of the common man.

There was, of course, a sinister force behind this image change: the sinister monster known as the evil KarlRove. A longtime political brain, the evil KarlRove had long record of defeating opponents of his chosen candidates through whispers, innuendo, and third party smears. The evil KarlRove wanted George as KingofalltheLand and new exactly what steps to take to do this.

KarlRove knew that George by himself was too much of a dim bulb to be effective in politics, but he also knew that if he surrounded George with the many of the same advisers that had been around George's father, it would look like George would know what he was doing.

KarlRove also had an insidious technique up his sleeve: the dreaded pushpoll. The pushpoll was a poll created to implant negative opinions of the opponent in the minds of voters by asking them seemingly innocuous questions designed to give voters false impressions.

It was primarily through the use of this technique that allowed George to become King of Texas, thus securing his future in politics. Two years later, it would be time for him to run for Kingofalltheland.

To be Continued.

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 3)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental (Really!)

Chapter 3: Remaking the Image.

In 1960, a family named Kennedy had successfully put their favorite son John into the office of Kingofalltheland by playing up his image as an everyman. It was easy for them, though, because he was from the Democrat tribe, which had long cultivated its image as the party of the people.

George, however was faced with a new reality. He was a member of the Republic Tribe. This was a tribe made up of two types of people: Extremely wealthy ones, who were the real masters of the party, and easily duped rural and small-town ones who were easily swayed by talk of "family values" and "elitist Democrats". These small-town people were fooled easily by promises that, if elected, the Republic party politicians would quickly act on all the issues that the small-towners cared about. In reality, however, the Republics would NEVER actually ACT on these issues, since they needed these issues to keep this rabid base of small-towners active in their party. It was the only thing that kept getting them elected.

So what was George to do? He was the very DEFINITION of East Coast elitist. He was the wealthy son of a powerful political family. His family hailed from Maine.

The solution was to remake his image. He married a very nice girl chosen for him by his family. She allowed him to have sex with her exactly once, in order to produce an heir, (twin daughters, Lucky George!) who would one day carry on his legacy in Politics if the plan worked properly.

His family also purchased a large ranch for him in the land of Texas, where the so-called "Everyman" reigned supreme in politics, thanks to a hijacking of this title from the legitimate owners of it years before. George cultivated his image as an ordinary man of Texas, a rancher, a populist, an owner of a local sports team (a job he handled miserably, like every other job he had held), and, eventually, the ruler of the land of Texas.

George's image makeover was complete. It was time to run for KingofalltheLand!

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 2)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental (Really!)

Part 2: A Businessman (sort of)

The next step for young George was to work to increase the vast wealth of his family. With that in mind, he looked to join the same business as many of his family members--that of removing a precious black liquid from the ground and selling that liquid for large amounts of money.

Unfortunately for George, he was a few decades too late. The vast reserves of this precious black liquid where he drilled for had already been tapped dry. There was no more left. Therefore, every business he started in an attempt to get into this moneymaking industry became a miserable failure.

So what was George to do?

Well, as so many sons of successful wealthy families had done in the past, he decided he would enter a magical field known as politics. You see, as had been done for generations before, the sons of wealthy families would often put their names into the running to control the entire land, and as it had worked for his father, George decided he would do the same. After all, what could be a better fate for a failed businessman son of a wealthy politically powerful family than to redeem himself by entering the magical world of politics? Such a thing had been done successfully nearly 50 years before by an almost identical family named Kennedy, so why not George?

Why not indeed...

(To be continued)

A Heartwarming Story (Pt. 1)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is PURELY coincidental (Really!)

Chapter 1: The Early Years

Once upon a time, there was a boy named George.

George grew up in a magical town named Kennebunkport. His family was very rich. He had everything in life he ever wanted handed to him literally on a silver platter. His family was the very definition of East Coast Aristocracy.

As a boy, he coasted through life. He attended the most exclusive prep schools, where he was, by most accounts, a mediocre student, but no teacher was going to dare to give a failing grade to someone with his family's power and influence.

His father, years earlier, had served 2 terms as vice-Kingofalltheland and one term as Kingofalltheland. As a result, George himself aspired to this post. So he followed the prescribed path. First, he went to a magical place called Harvard, where the privileged send their offspring to be groomed to be privileged themselves. (Of course, Harvard also occasionally takes in a few token underprivileged offspring just to show they're not a bunch of snobs--but that's another story).

Again, George coasted through school, boozing and partying his way through six (?) years en route to an MBA that apparently had all the legitimacy of a sheet of toilet paper.

To be continued

A Moviegasm

This might be the first time I have been 0rgasmed by a movie.

This Saturday, I saw The Dark Knight.

I cannot, in any reference, ever say I have seen a better movie.

Up until now, my favorite movie of all time has been Casablanca.

I have to say that now it shall be The Dark Knight.

Qualities for my best movie:

Unforgettable: Check
Amazing Visuals: Check
Unbelievable acting: Check
Sound Editing: Cannot ever be improved upon.

If this movie does not get an Oscar, then that will be proof that there is no justice in this world.

I must say this without giving too much away; I am impressed that there are still those in Hollyweird that still believe in the decency of humankind. That is the last thing I ever expected.

What I've Been up to

Look, I know I haven't posted in over a month, but I've been busy. I hope all 3 readers of this blog haven't been too upset over missing me. Meanwhile, enjoy a beautiful picture of my 2 nephews.



My, what a happy moment.

Hope to make a full post soon.

An Experience I Would NOT Recommend

The following sequence of events is something I would NOT recommend trying:

1) Being stressed out from trying to cram 3 days worth of work into 1 day.

2) Letting your high blood pressure prescription run out and not refilling it.

3) Working 45 minutes past your normal time of day.

4) Failing to consume an adequate supply of water on one of the hottest days of the year.

5) Walking out into a black asphalt parking lot.

6) Blacking out and doing a faceplant into the pavement.

7) waking up surrounded by paramedics and barely able to breathe due to nose and mouth full of blood.

8) Spending the next three days in the hospital while doctors run a battery of tests to conclusively prove that your blackout had absolutely...no medical cause whatsoever. While wearing a cervical collar for two of those three days.

9) Being under close observation for those 3 days in what the hospital euphemistically calls the "Close Care unit", or, as I came to know it, the "reasonable facsimile of what a 3rd world hospital ward would look like if it had electricity and modern medical monitoring equipment."

Perhaps the only bright side from the whole experience came from the fact that I was not asked to provide insurance information before I was admitted. I guess if it's a genuine emergency, this hospital still acts like the patient matters first.

For the time being, anyway.

Time to Admit It.

I admit it.

I'm a geek.

The problem is, I'm not the GOOD kind of geek. The GOOD kind of geek owns his own software company and has a billion dollars in the bank and a blond 20 year old trophy wife.

No, I'm the bad kind of geek.

I'm, the kind of geek that spends all of his off-work hours in front of his computer playing MMORPG's or FPS games or strategy games--or possibly surfing the web for free porn. In other words, the pathetic kind. The kind that the good kind of geek loves because we spend our hard-earned money on the computer games that THEY create.

The bad kind of geek also spends his time writing entries in a blog that no one else in the world will ever read. And he is too pathetic to do it more than once or twice a week. Or even less than that.

He is also pathetic enough that when he can't think of anything to write in his blog, he writes useless drivel like this.

Hehe.

I'm going to California!

Yes folks, I'm headed to San Francisco!

I am going to be married to John, my long time partner. We will live a life of happiness and bliss in California. We expect to adopt a few children. We will be filled with bliss and happiness.

I fully expect that our union will bring about the destruction of traditional family values. Within years, or even months, all Americans will be forced to marry their same-sex cousins, bear their illegitimate children, and lead a life of celibacy that will result in the destruction of the American way of life.

By the way, I am kidding.

But I fully expect the above arguments to be made repeatedly during this year's electoral campaign.

Because bigotry and ignorance is the only way that the Republicans will win this year's election.

And it just may work.

Bigotry is the reason Republicans have won presidential elections 2 times in a row.

That is NOT something they should be proud of.

Wake up, Myanmar!

As I write this, the military leaders of Myanmar are refusing to allow aid in to help the victims of the cyclone.

Why?

It is a fact that governments cannot function without their people. And people cannot function without government.

But restrictive enough governments can convince their people that outside aid is only there to destroy them. And this is only possible if people decide that their free will is less important than their safety.

Ben Franklin once said that (to paraphrase) "They that can give up their freedom to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety".

Mynamar has given up its freedom. As a result, they are experiencing neither liberty nor safety.

That's what they deserve.

It's what we got during Hurricane Katrina.

And once again humans prove we cannot learn from our mistakes.